Not really sure where to start but will try and keep this short. I really need some advice on how to put my life back together.
5 years ago I had a great life, good job, savings in the bank, single (but happy) Mum of a great wee boy. Lived in a place with great friends, family around and a plan in place for the future.
Met a man and fell in love and I moved with him across the UK, I gave up my job to become a SAHM to my DS as well as stepkids. Looking back I know what a stupid thing this was to do -but in my defence I really loved and trusted this man and I felt the "family" life he was of offering was best for DS and it was - DS really thrived in the environment of having a "Dad" and "Brothers and Sisters" and village life and he was the happiest he's ever been.
Things were tight money-wise and somewhere along the road my savings for eaten up on things we needed and without my family around to help with childcare I could not afford to go out to work. In the place we lived jobs are few and far between and low paid and DS has special needs so the childcare / transport costs outweighed anything I could bring home in a salary packet.
Long story short, DP turned around out of nowhere six months ago and said being a SAHM changed me and he stopped loving me, and he left me. This happened really suddenly and I had no time to prepare financially or emotionally. I had absolutely no idea he felt this way and thought we were really happy and settled.
He did is pretty much on 24 hours notice, I got a text when I was away for the weekend and stupidly everything was in his name and he was able to basically kick me and DS out without any obligation. I was left essentially without a pot to piss in.
Yes...I know how stupid I was but I completely trusted him and can't believe he behaved like this.
I have struggled through the past six months and have just managing to keep my head above water. I managed to get part time work that with tax credits and housing benefit keeps my head above water, and disability payments for DS and I do bring in just enough to survive but every month is quite stressful with constant late payment notices and worries of how to make ends meet.
In the months after DP left me unexpectedly, I ran up some debts which amount to about £4000 because I basically had nowhere to go and nothing in the bank to live off. Took me a few months to get on my feet in any sense.
Right now I am coming to the point where I don't cry all day and I know I need to make a new life, but I am not sure what direction to go in.
I just don't know whether to stabilise myself and DS here in the lovely village we have been for 5 years - or whether to just walk out on my life here and go home to Mum and Dad and where I used to live.
Staying here means being quite lonely and isolated as well as having no family around, and work opportunities are poor but it is "home" to DS and he loves the school here and is really settled.
Leaving means much better job opportunities and family and friends for support and a social life, but it also means a massive change for DS and probably a lot of expenses and extra stress in trying to relocate with no money.
I mean...even coming up with the £200 or something to pay for removers to take my furniture right now seems a big ask, much less trying to stump up a flat deposit! My family have no money so really I have to sort this out myself but I could potentially "stay" with family until I was on my feet.
I am aware I am burying my head in the sand and that life is pretty grim for me, but is leaving so soon a knee-jerk reaction or is it sensible to rip off the plaster and go back home and try and start afresh?
I feel a bit scared and a bit worried. Him leaving the way he did knocked all my confidence away and while I was happily single for many years before he came along I am finding it hard to adjust to being a single Mum instead of part of a family and everything just feels a bit much.
I mostly want to do what is best for DS.
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My life is a bit of a mess and need advice
QueSarah · 20/09/2014 12:14
Return home to your folks for a bit. You need the support right now. If you are finding it too hard emotionally and financially, then that really isn't taking good care of your son's mother (i.e. you!) is it? And in order to do whats best for your son, he needs his mom to be on solid ground.
Yes, in the short term it will be another move. But surely, you are moving towards something better rather than treading water where you are?
Money is bits of paper that eventually get sorted out. You and your son need to look forward to better opportunities rather than cling onto your old life.
Not an easy decision by any means, but it seems like you have enough courage and grit to make it! Good luck no matter what. 
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