Am I being too subtle??

[Thaigal]

Ill try to keep it as short as pos.
Last year my child went to a youth club, I ended up taking him out after a couple of months as it was run poorley, the adults were smoking around the kids and a few of the leaders shouted and screamed at the kids like possessed nazi's.

Anyway, one of the leaders started to take her child to the same school as my child so I inevitably saw her almost everyday at school, mostly in the car park.

Those of us that drive to school tend to get there about half an hour early, otherwise you don't get a parking space. This means sitting in the car park from about 2:30 to 3pm but I don't mind as I sit and listen to my CD's or read.

Anyway, this woman began parking next to me all the time and ended up inviting me to sit in her car for a chat which I did to be sociable. As soon as I got in I wished I hadn't, the car stunk, it was a complete tip, the chairs were filthy and her baby's fingers were actually stuck together with mushed up food etc, it made me feel physically sick. Apart from that this woman was incredibly loud, shouting and swearing whilst re-living things that had happened to her during the week...it was that bad that people were actually looking into the car thinking we were arguining!

I assumed she'd only ask me the once but she caught me off guard the day after too and I couldnt think of a good enough reason to say no so I ended up in the health hazard a 2nd time.

The day after I tried to avoid all eye contact, parked away from her etc and it seemed to work on one or 2 occasions.

Anyway after the summer hols she started it up again, waving me into her car etc so again I started avoiding eye contact, parking away etc and she became much more determined! last week she actually walked across from her car to mine just to knock on my car window and ask me to go and sit in her car! She has even gone as far as to hold her baby up against her car window and get her to shout of me and bang on the glass! I've tried ignoring them, pretending I can't hear them/see them, made up excuses such as "I've got a cold, don't want your little one to catch it" etc etc and have now resorted in taking a book to read, what really pisses me off is that she see's me engrossed in my book and still tries to get my attention, using her baby or walking across or knocking on the door etc!! It's driving me mad.

It's not because she's lonely as she even does it when her hubby is sat in the car with her!

Am I being too subtle or is she just ignoring the hints??

If you see someone sat in their car listening to their music reading a book would you not assume that they wanted to be left alone??

[MrsMuddle]

I'd sit with my mobile up to my ear and pretend I was talking, and hope she took the hint that way. (But I'm really bad at confrontation!)

[Thaigal]

She's driving me mad, its every day now, I wouldnt mind but when I do sit in her car all she does is sit staring out the window or make small talk so its not even as if she wants to talk to someone.

A few days ago I parked up, avoided eye contact altogether, got out my book and made it obvious I was nice and cosey...she then got out of her car, walked across...OPENED MY CAR DOOR and told me to go and sit in her car so she could tell me about something important she has heard about the schools future...turned out to be nothing! The day after I avoided eye contact as I pulled up, she souted of me to go and sit in her car and I completely ignored her and when I got out of the car half an hour later to pick the kids up she gave me a sarcastic "hello dear, how are you today then?" just because she had a little 16 year old in her car who she could show off too .

Anyway I hoped I had pissed her off...today I pulled up and again avoided eye contact and when she saw me she took everything off the passenger seat and opened her passanger door and shouted "come in here...I have something to tell you..." and then sat there with her car door open until I went across .

Please be honest, am I not making it obvious enough?? I sit there, music on nice and loud, avoid eye contact, snuggle down in my seat and stick a book in my face...could I really make it anymore obvious that I'm happy sitting in my own car??

[JJane01]

Have to say she's obviously not getting the hint and she really obviously enjoys your discomfort.

The next time she asks you, tell her politely that you are enjoying a few minutes' peace and quiet whilst waiting for school to finish.

If she pushes the point, be blunt and say "I've already said no, thank you, I'm fine where I am".

Why is she asking you to get in the car? Where I drop my son at school, we stand outside the school, not sit in the car!

Think I'd be getting out of the car and going for a little walk to hang round with other less draining parents!

[southeastastralplain]

yes agree with jjan01, she sounds scary. is there anywhere you can walk to?

[ThePearlyQueen]

Take a pen and some paper, tell her you are doing a course, something for work, anything and this half an hour in the car is the only time you get to yourself, would love to sit and chat everyday but must crack on.
It might work

[hairymclary]

lol go incognito. borrow someone's car and wear a wig.

seriously though, I have no idea other than saying no thank you i am fine here.

[hairymclary]

actually yeah, is there anyone else you know who is there at the same time? if so then get out of the car and go and stand with them and have a chat instead