Looong story. A regular but have NC as I think he knows my MN name spend way too much time on here and he's an overtheshoulder reader
We were together 2yrs. I have a DS from a previous relationship, who's 4. We split mostly because I felt he needed to grow up and was making my life as a single mother harder/more work, not better. And I suffer with depression/anxiety 'blips' that crop up every few years or so (badly bullied at school and it just crops up from time to time but I know how to deal with it pretty well by now, and felt I had to cut him out for the sake of my MH by the time we split). It's been 10yrs since the MH issues started (I was 14).
There are obviously great things about him or I wouldn't have bothere/we wouldn't have got back in contact. He's changed a lot of things and is trying very hard but what I didn't expect was that I might feel so differently. I wanted us to get back together but then I realized I think the upset from before had just maybe been too much to look past.
And I swing between feeling like it was the right choice and then really doubting it/remembering horrible things he's said etc. And I strengthened a lot in the 3 months we were apart, which makes me think maybe the dynamic might just be fudged for good now.
But his friends and family already think i'm a bitch from hell because he really pulled the pity-party crap post split and still lives at home and has a lot of people babying him wheras I've lived alone with DS for a few years now and although I'm close to my DM/friends, they're more of the 'well it's your life/you're an adult' type. If shit hits the fan twice it'll be pretty bad. Not a big town which is a shame in a way...
Not sure why I'm actually posting other than to just vent a bit. Feel like a fucking idiot more than anything else and still not sure enough to make a decision about the future either way.
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Relationships
Took an ex back after 3 months no contact. Now unsure but feel trapped...
19 replies
YoniJaquen · 16/09/2014 21:58
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