Me and my XP broke up early this year after what was essentially a car crash of an ending. Not a particularly long relationship, but intense and over the course of it I changed a lot (in a good way- became more assertive, more sure of what I wanted for a relationship and I’m now a much happier person). Even though it was an extremely amicable break up I’ve felt quite a lot of emotional strain over the past few months and I think it’s been even worse for him- there’s been more than a few late night calls (ignored) and hopeful emails- but until the last few weeks we’ve sort of coasted along without argument.
We have a few bills to sort out together which have been delayed because one reason or another, and I have quite a bit of his stuff left at my flat that I keep trying to arrange for him to pick up. For reasons unknown, he’s turned quite nasty in the last few weeks, nothing outright but quite a few snide remarks and accusations of infidelity which when called out on he backs down and claims to be a misunderstanding on my part. When I say nasty I mean references to not “wanting his bedsheets back, eugh” and asking me not to use various things of his as he’s “sick of people having their hands over his property”.
At this point I should point out I started seeing someone around 6 weeks ago and I just assumed he’d heard (it’s not particularly a secret) and that what was causing the passive aggressive behavior. It didn’t really bother me as I knew XP and I were fully over with no chance of a reconciliation.
I had a close family member die last week, XP was aware of it as he had text me to say he’d heard and was thinking of me, and yesterday was their funeral. As far as these things go it was actually nice and although I was knackered when I got home (4 hours each way on the train!) I didn’t feel too upset, just a bit quiet and reflective. I was in the bath when I received a message from him consisting of a pornographic picture he’d found of an “actress” who looked like me. My initial reaction was to ignore it but after his recent texts I unfortunately couldn’t let it lie and replied with “INAPPROPRIATE”. When he asked why I said that firstly he knew I’d spent the day at a funeral and secondly, it was inappropriate to send something like that to someone in a relationship, no matter what history there was.
Of course, it turns out he had no idea about the new relationship and I have now received a barrage of abusive messages (predictable stuff) and he’s now claiming there’s no way he’ll be paying the money he owes me as I’ll “just go and spent it on [my] new piece”.
I just don’t know how to reply to this. The issue I’m facing now has stumped me somewhat, I’m very angry at him but I’m also aware that any hasty point-scoring may cost me further down the line and anyway I’d prefer to deal with this like an adult.
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Relationships
Thought he knew about the new P. He didn't.
11 replies
Anniemannie · 16/09/2014 16:08
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