The Lower Lowxley Effect: or why do cheaters do that?

[IrianofWay]

OK, I have been dragged back into the Archers recently after a hiatus of a year or so.

Can someone explain something to me that I simply don't get. If Roy could be so dismissive of Hayley (wife) whilst talking to Elizabeth (his lover) - perfectly content to tell H it was all over and wave byebye to his marriage - why, when E told him to sling his hook, was he desperate to keep his wife? Please explain that to me. Why work so hard to keep something you were quite happy to throw away like an old shoe.

And yes. I know it's just a story, but I have read so many relationship message boards where this is exactly what happens. Is it just fear of being alone, or does seeing the pain they have caused bring them back to earth with a mind-clearing thump?

[Cabrinha]

I think it's selfish lazy cake and eat it behaviour. Even if you WANT to go, ending a marriage is hard. So - without the incentive, people get cold feet.
Very very rarely is it a wake up call and they realise that they actually love the person they just treated like shit.

In my personal case, ex's "affair" was prostitutes.
When I dumped him, an hour after sorting out practical arrangements I said "you haven't even suggested counselling which saved your arse last time". He said "can I suggest it now?"
Reader, I told him to fuck off

But why do you think he said it? Cos he'd suddenly realised what he'd lost? Or cos he was too fucking lazy to end the marriage?

Mark my words, if we'd had counselling, he wouldn't have stopped paying for other services!

I think in vast majority of cases where someone lets a lazy shit stay, they're just setting themselves up to go through it all over again.