Sod the name change on this
DD 16, 10A* achiever this years GCSE. She's left a private school now going to one of the top grammars in the country for sixth form.
Her whole existence at the moment revolves around getting to Cambridge in two years time.
She has a boyfriend, shes verbally abusive to him & shes verbally abusive to me constantly. Her brother who's half her age, she's rude to, telling him to shut up all the time. My DP she is quietly rude to by ignoring him ( he lives with us, though she will go to him and be very affectionate and seeks out his company when she wants it ). She's lovely to her friends and new school friends.
She will not discuss anything other than school, berates me, orders me about and tells me she's busy working if I attempt discussion with her.
Her father died when she was twelve; he was highly abusive and quite frankly I was relieved as it released me from ever having to deal with him again ( we were married and lived under same roof ).
Sadly, DD witnessed the abuse, my reactions ( everything from keeping quiet to terrible shouting matches and not long before he died he was arrested for beating me (not in front of DCs). I had massive black eyes.
DD has an uncanny ability to behave exactly like him when she's being abusive ( most of the time at the moment ). I have had to learn to remain calm, take a firm parental stance, but it's very difficult and she keeps pushing, almost like she's waiting for me to snap ( I have in the past)
Tonight her BF has called me and she's been vile to him, he's a decent young man and upset by her. He's called me before and I have told him to disengage with her when she's horrible, politely but firmly. Tonight she has threatened him again with breaking up over the fact that I forgot to pick up something from the post office for her .
I decided to have a word along the lines of requesting that could she at least behave in a decent manner, whether she continues her relationship with him or not. SHe refused to discuss, demanded what time is dinner, told me sh'e busy and she doesn't need to hear all this from me as well as him. She also added she's only nasty to me and him in a defiant manner then went back to her studying.
I have found her a counsellor which will start in November, she's willing to goas apparently she knows she is horrible but can't stop, but in the meantime I've got to keep it together and I find myself on eggshells all the time wondering if she's going to kick off.
I'm staying out of her way now and quite frankly don't feel inclined to prepare her dinner as im upset and cross, but I'm the parent and have to remain in a position of strength
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Help me not to lose it tonight
4 replies
OfCourse · 15/09/2014 18:50
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