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Age gaps what is ok what is not ok ?

(46 Posts)
Lesj8995 Fri 22-Aug-14 19:52:27

What's your opinions on age gaps ?

Is 20 and 30 ok ? Is 19 and 24 ok ? Is 45 and 50 ok ?

Feel like people always seem shocked when I inform them me and my oh have a 5 year gap but don't feel the age ago myself, why are some age gaps socially acceptable and some not as long as both individuals are adults? Feel like until I get past my twenties it will always be frowned upon....

iklboo Fri 22-Aug-14 19:53:50

DH is 8 years younger than me. We got together when I was 32.

CatKisser Fri 22-Aug-14 19:54:40

Oh people will always comment on things that aren't their own business.

Realistically, as long as both partners are consenting adults anything's "ok" however much other people choose to gossip comment.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Fri 22-Aug-14 19:55:27

There's an equation. Half plus seven years.

So a 50 year old can go out with a 32 year old. 32 year old can go out with 23 year old.

That's generally my rule of thumb smile

Finola1step Fri 22-Aug-14 19:56:07

It's all relative.

14 and 19? Wrong.
24 and 29? Meh.

Essentially once the younger person in the relationship turns 18, then 5 years is no great shakes.

HumblePieMonster Fri 22-Aug-14 19:57:12

Does it matter at all?

Lesj8995 Fri 22-Aug-14 19:59:33

The only reason why it matters to me is because I care way too much about what others think. Part of me that I can't really change I guess...

Perfectlypurple Fri 22-Aug-14 19:59:43

Once you are over 18 I don't think it matters too much. 15 and 25 a big no. 35 and 45 fine.

firesidechat Fri 22-Aug-14 20:00:00

A 5 year gap raises eyebrows? Really?

I must have been missing all the rasied eyebrows for 3 decades then. I was 20 and my husband 26 when we started going out and no one, not even my mum, seemed disapproving.

FolkGirl Fri 22-Aug-14 20:00:19

10+ I can understand some people raising an eyebrow at, but 5 years? That's nothing!

I'm 39. My boyfriend is 46. I don't even consider that to be a 'gap', to be honest.

Mouldypineapple Fri 22-Aug-14 20:04:01

5 years is nothing unless unless you're teenagers.

There are 27 years between DH and I ... Works for us!

TheHomicidalPowerOfaTypo Fri 22-Aug-14 20:04:28

I was 23 when I started seeing dh. We married a year later when he was 41. You do the math.

11 years and 2 kids later all is still good. Nowt wrong with an age gap if both ages are legal.

DownstairsMixUp Fri 22-Aug-14 20:08:43

I think age gaps matter less and less as you get older. As a general rule though as long as at least one of the partners is 18 ok. Like 16 and 24 year old creepy, 18 and a 24 year old ok. Though maybe an 18 year old and anyone over 30 might seem a bit strange though generally yes i think as long as one is min 18 age gaps aren't too big a deal.

OK my relationship must be creepy then. Started going out at 25 and 16 after meeting through a shared hobby. Thankfully we're happy in our creepiness as it had given us a very happy relationship and a beautiful DD.

maybesadie Fri 22-Aug-14 20:19:28

The half your age plus seven rule is a good one, works pretty well. Because it really depends on what your ages are, not just the years between. But if you're over 18 five years is nothing, strange that anyone would be shocked at that.

I used to think age didn't matter, now I'm counting it in my list of red flags, after wasting years of my life with an abuser that was well into his thirties when I was 20. Wish I'd known better at the time.

Lesj8995 Fri 22-Aug-14 20:20:58

I think it does depend on the individuals when the relationship starts before one of them is 18. Some 16 year olds seem so young but others are different.....

Finola1step Fri 22-Aug-14 20:23:01

Would you like to tell us what's going on? Are you 16? Younger?

Lesj8995 Fri 22-Aug-14 20:25:41

No 19 !

Flowerfae Fri 22-Aug-14 20:27:12

I'm 30 and my husband is 53.. been married 10 years, and get along fine. smile

My DP is 16 yrs older than me (I'm 30) and my ExH is 22 years older than me. I say each to their own but that documentary that was on TV recently was weird one 25yr old was dating a 78 yr old now that to me is abit sick

JoyceDivision Fri 22-Aug-14 20:30:50

14 years between me and dh

older ones can't run as fast grin

Life's good, age gap's irrelevant to us

Finola1step Fri 22-Aug-14 21:00:17

So 19 and 24? That's nothing. So who is questioning the age gap?

sonjadog Fri 22-Aug-14 21:06:55

Five years is nothing. When you are older you will realise that 19 and 24 are not very far apart. But I remember when I was 19 that 24 seemed a lot older. Ignore your friends. They will look back when they are older and laugh at themselves.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Fri 22-Aug-14 21:10:11

There was 11 years between me and exDP.

I do know a woman who is 30 and engaged to a 70 year old.

LittleMissRayofHope Fri 22-Aug-14 21:45:49

10 year gap here. I'm 29, he's 39. Don't think about age though. I hardly ever feel like I'm 10 years younger.

An ex was 16 years older then me and I was younger so I felt that age gap and got a lot of raised eyebrows.
But at 19 and 24..... That seems perfectly normal to me!

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