I know I have things a lot better than many people and I'm not trying to sob story here but feeling pretty shit so please be gentle. I get that this might just be normal relationship stuff, and that I am probably equally in the wrong, and that when you have a new baby things are supposed to be rough..but something just feels really wrong in our marriage. I was reading a post a few weeks ago about a shit boyfriend who kept looking his temper, (particularly in the car) and everybody was replying "run for the hills", and I just suddenly felt wow..that's what they would tell me.
My husband is a funny, kind, laid back bloke with everybody else, but I feel like he can't be that person with me. I love him and I know I'm not a great wife Scotty/untidy/anxious. I have tried to end things before and said some really unkind things to him I'm in no way perfect in this. He cries and tells me he loves me and we start again
Here are some of my concerns will bullet point for ease-
- I feel like he watches and assesses me constantly, how I eat, drink, walk and talk are often brought into conversation and never in a positive way. For example if I am walking in front he will regularly scold me for always getting in people's way, but if I slow to let them pass ' we'll never get anywhere at this rate', if I walk beside him he will comment if I turn 'why would you go that way' I got into the unconscious habit of walkin g half a step behind so I can follow him, but now this is always wrong too. I try to lightheartedly bringing up the issue but all I get is 'we'll if you knew how annoying it was'
- He often looses his temper and speaks to me in an aggressive way so that the dog hides behind me shaking, then says he was talking normally. He will be very aggressive to companies on the phone to the extent that it scares me.
- He has never hurt me but has held me physically from leaving a room or the houses.
- He will constantly undermine me about the littlest things in front of people, for example I said how lovely the big archway in our friends New kitchen was, he made quite a big thing of telling the people we were with how silly I was because it was only a normal door size, later on we visited friends again..it is huge.
- when he comes in he often stomps around tidying/correcting the house, gutting sighing and complaining, this often involves throwing my things, or kicking our baby daughters toys across the floor. I have told him this makes me really upset as I feel it might frighten her. If I react when he's doing it he will say he wasn't angry but I've made him mad by asking, if I don't react he will often get into my personal space like snatching food out of my hands or moving my leg out the way. I can't explain it but it feels so nasty.
-He regularly reduces me to tears then laughs at me while I'm crying calling me hysterical.
- Regularly looses his temper in the car/ getting ready to go somewhere or silks.
Feel so unhappy as I don't want our daughter to be affected by the bad atmosphere between us.
for you