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I don't think I love my husband.

(9 Posts)
Imsuchamess Sat 09-Aug-14 17:49:52

I am very upset about this. Here is why I don't think I love my dh anymore. I have scizoaffective disorder (episodes of bipolar one and episodes of scizophrenia) I had dc3 a while ago and as I choose to go med free during pregnancy I started a manic episode the January before last. It lasted till about July then I suddenly became psychotically depressed. That lasted till the beginning of this July when my meds were switched and I became stable.

Since my episode has ended I feel like a different person like it changed me. It feels like dh has become more of a carer than a husband. He is always questioning where I am going what I am doing. I feel so trapped. The other day he went off on one because I decided to go to tesco in the evening as the dc are out of school.

I can't stand him touching me I really can't I just feel like the person I was before this episode has died. I can't leave him as I am financially and emotionally and physically dependant on him. I have three dc no qualifications two with sn. I also feel bad you see dh mother was a violent alcoholic and attacked me physically one night so dh cut contact. When he did this his whole family cut contact. So if I leave he has no one.

I feel so trapped.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 09-Aug-14 18:18:13

Possibly not quite as trapped as he might feel.

If you're going to split from your husband with no visible means of support and three kids to look after and two with SN, you need to be a lot more certain than just "thinking" you don't love your husband.

Before you do anything rash I think you should find someone professional to talk to. This could all be about the new medication, rather than your feelings having changed.

n.b. I have absolutely no understanding of the condition you are affected by.

Deluge Sat 09-Aug-14 18:18:58

Have PM'd you x

LEMmingaround Sat 09-Aug-14 18:26:33

Wow bitter. Thats a helpful post!hmm

Op have you got anyone professional to talk to? Cpn? Counsellor? To help you get your thought in

HumblePieMonster Sat 09-Aug-14 18:30:33

Do talk to someone.

My late mum was schizophrenic and bipolar1. You cannot imagine what it feels like to live with that person.

Get help for both of you, please, whether you stay together or not.

Branleuse Sat 09-Aug-14 18:44:14

are you sure its not medication making you feel empty, rather than love?

Are you on anti psychotics?

Imsuchamess Sat 09-Aug-14 18:54:33

Yes I am on anti psychotics which have reduced my sex drive to zero. I am also on mood stabilisers and benzodiazepines. I know things are not easy for dh. I am amazed he has stayed with me to be honest. I will try and talk to my psychiatrist.

Minion100 Sat 09-Aug-14 20:34:26

I don't think you can adequately judge how you feel about anything this close to coming out of an MDE and I would suggest talking to a professional. I only have very limited knowledge as my STBXH had a bipolar episode. I'd not be making any major changes before being absolutely clear on things and giving yourself time and someone to talk to. It's also probably normal to feel irritated and all sorts of other things with loved ones. I am sorry you feel the way you do, but please do talk to a medical professional.

Branleuse Sat 09-Aug-14 23:05:58

i seriously think its your medication thats causing you to feel like youve fallen out of love.

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