Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Lipstick on your collar - do people really smell perfume on their cheating H?

(68 Posts)
PittTheYounger Thu 07-Aug-14 22:29:26

Watching Ray Donovan and the wife susses him through scent.
Does this really happen in real life, or is it just dramatic license?

What other little tells have led you to conclude all might not be well? ( rather than the norm of new pants and taking your phone into the loo!)

Oops sorry wohm. Difficult to see, not sure sorry

BeCool Thu 14-Aug-14 18:25:08

When I was 20 I used my bosses car for a work errand and my handbag fell on the floor. I unknowingly left a bottle of Rive Gauche (it was the 80's) behind.

He gave it back to me day asking if I was trying to get him divorced shock.

(In retrospect there were lots of constant rumours about him and his assistant who were "close" so maybe I did give him something to sweat about).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-Aug-14 18:34:55

That does look like lipstick to me, wohm, lipstick that's not been freshly applied... or has been worn off for a bit. Sorry.

Scarletohello Thu 14-Aug-14 18:52:19

Found a blonde hair on the pillow on the bed. ( I was brunette). Him taking a sudden interest in learning Spanish ( a different woman). Asked him outright. He denied it. When we split up he wrote me a letter saying he had been unfaithful pretty much the whole 3 years we had been together. But blamed it in me as apparently he couldn't trust me. ( he was extremely jealous ). Twat.

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:00:13

My ex H was caught out by an umbrella of all things!

I found it under the passenger seat. It was bright pink and It wasn't mine. (I even asked all my female relations if it was theirs i^n case^he had given them lifts). It wasn't.

When he admitted the affair, it turned out it started as an EA, when he was giving OW lifts -- obviously in the rain-- to and from work and the silly mare left her umbrella on the floor in front of passenger seat and he failed to see it.

I've often wondered if it was intentional. Like a dog marking it's territory with crap and wee.

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:01:30

And the passenger seat was always too far forward. She must have had short legs.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-Aug-14 19:02:41

I don't think an umbrella is territory-marking. I'm always leaving mine in every supplier's car I'm in. They're kept for me for next time I see them. It just doesn't strike me as an OW-thing particularly (perhaps because I'm not).

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:05:37

But when I asked him where the umbrella had come from - he denied knowing anything about it and said it must be mine.
If it was all above board why not just say ''oh, I gave so and so a lift the other morning - maybe SHE left it there''
But there was nothing. No explanation. So he obviously had something to hide.
And I was right. Two months later he admitted he was having an affair.

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:06:14

with Pink Umbrella Lady. shock

ObfusKate Thu 14-Aug-14 19:08:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BerylStreep Thu 14-Aug-14 19:15:03

My cat smells of perfume. It's been going on for weeks now.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 14-Aug-14 19:40:26

Married male colleague at work who normally wore specs came in eyes red and watering, "Just trying out contact lenses".

He wasn't someone we thought was very interested in his appearance and for a laugh someone quipped,
"Aye aye, old X has got himself a bird".

And six weeks later turned out he had. She thought his frames weren't very flattering.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-Aug-14 19:58:29

Kate... that is a truly terrible song! grin

Wouldn't he be wearing a condom though? Also, somebody who is cheating long term would possibly have meetings at hotels with showers, etc.

I also can't think why an OW would be so silly as to mark her territory... it would mean discovery and the end of the affair, surely?

... that song is going around in my head now. I near ear-bleach! confused

ObfusKate Thu 14-Aug-14 20:05:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 20:08:30

I think some want to be discovered. They think it will push the husband into leaving his wife?

ProfessorPickles Thu 14-Aug-14 21:59:17

I recently left my umbrella in a male friends car! I hope his wife didn't think anything along the lines of this, it was innocent shock

wohm Fri 15-Aug-14 11:05:18

It wasn't lipstick. It was my 6yo's pastels, and the day the shirt was last worn he was with me and my parents (and the pastels) all day. Nonetheless, my conclusion is either I'm naturally oversuspicious (not good) or I'm subconsciously aware that something might be up (not good), or both (really not good). thanks for your help.

PennyPepper Fri 15-Aug-14 11:10:30

Re condoms, my XH didn't use them with OW, because he 'trusted her'.

People having affairs are all kinds of deluded...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now