Wise ladies, I've been a long time lurker but never had the courage to post but I really need some perspective and reality check.
I am sure my DH of 6yrs loves me, myself and our 2 Dd's ( 4 and 1) are his world. However I perceive him to have anger management issues and is most certainly emotionally abusive. When questioned or doubted on anything a tirade of finger pointing, swearing, shouting and irrational reasoning ensues. If I attempt to answer back or stand up for my rights I'm 'being aggressive.' Swearing in front of children, which I am against with a passion, is my fault as I'm making him say those things. He will not let it drop and follows be around ranting. I am intimidated and at certain points scared. These episodes happen regularly every few wks. His mum won't cross him to avoid repercussions.
I'm an adult & I can chose to stay or go ( in theory...I'm too scared) but what really distresses me is that he has no hesitation in behaving this way in front of our girls. My attempts at telling to stop or asking him to leave the room are greeted by 'I'm just the scum of the earth...I may as well go hang myself.' This isn't right, it's against my ideals of the environment in which to raise my children. But am I just precious and unrealistic?
I'm accused of not disciplining our girls; I try but am a softie!! However I hear phrases such as 'your such a bad girl' 'mummy will go away if you carry on like this' 'when daddy's good he's good, when he's bad he's very bad' & threats to chuck all her toys, presents etc out of the window. I am really concerned on the long term impact of this...or again am I precious and over protective?
Another incident happened today & I'm just left wondering how to continue.
He is under immense pressure at work in a life changing way and negative way, so I can without a doubt say he is stressed. However a nagging voice in my head says these outbursts were there before.
Pls give me some honest words of advice...
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I don't think this is right?...how bad is it?
Isthisreal3 · 07/08/2014 19:52
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