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I think my whole world fell apart .... Again

(125 Posts)
Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 20:48:54

So all the classics really, distancing, finding fault, his life is shit, he wants more from life but still wants to be with me etc etc

Anyway he had plans to go out last night with some people from work and stay at 'Paul's' house as was easier, I said to him on thurs about asking his parents to have the kids and I'll go with him, he looked shock and put me off 'partners not going ' that sort of thing. Made me slightly suspicious but didn't say anything.

I just checked his phone and he has an email saying his has a message from a girl from work on FB, it is literally just a pic of a character holding a great big heart with lots of love hearts surrounding it, this is what I think it is isn't it ?? There was nothing else on the phone no messages can't get on to his FB but it's bloody obvious. It said it was part of a conversation.

I'm just putting DD2 to bed and he is putting DS to bed but I think this is the end I am so gutted sadsad

Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 21:04:10

Anyone ??sad

overslept Sun 03-Aug-14 21:11:25

Ohhhh, I hope you are feeling alright. No advice right now but thought you needed a reply asap. hugs

FreeSpirit89 Sun 03-Aug-14 21:17:41

Woman don't send messages like that unless there is something going on op.

Sorry, but I think LTB.

Hand holding too

gamerchick Sun 03-Aug-14 21:21:18

I can't even think of any rational reason why he would be getting that in a conversation OP.. I would be gutted sad

If it's Innocent he won't mind showing you his inbox would he?

Could be innocent. I think best bet is too ask him

Your thread title says "again", OP. Has this kind of thing happened before? (((hugs)))

ChangelingToday Sun 03-Aug-14 21:39:51

Is there any way you can get into his fb? Are you married? Big hug for you!

Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 21:45:09

He's left, wouldn't show me the messages sent by her said they just get on that's all.
Said he's not been happy for ages I don't want to so anything etc etc.

I'm in pieces feel sick sadsadsadsad can't stop crying.

HumblePieMonster Sun 03-Aug-14 21:56:08

gentle hugs.

Finola1step Sun 03-Aug-14 21:58:45

Hugs from me too.

Waltermittythesequel Sun 03-Aug-14 22:00:28

Again?

So he has form?

You know you deserve so very much better, don't you?

Vivacia Sun 03-Aug-14 22:03:13

What do you mean "he's left"?

Lweji Sun 03-Aug-14 22:06:20

He's left as in left you? sad

Hugs from here, but it may be for the best. You don't want someone who is lying to you and has one foot out the door, while you're driven mad trying to figure out what's Wong.

juliascurr Sun 03-Aug-14 22:09:44

oh, what an arse sad

we've all been there; it's horrible, but it does get better. Make sure you get legal advice if needed, then make sure you eat nutritious food and have a little treat every day

xx
one day at a time

OP, a big hug.
Listen to me.....this is the worst night. When it happened to me my parents literally had to carry me into the car with ds. I felt like my world had fallen to pieces. My relationship hadn't been good for a while but the shock, the feeling of being hit by a steam train is so awful.
It will be hard. You will cry and need time to heal and get over the initial feelings of how the plans in your head won't now happen. Take support and help from loved ones.
However, you will be ok. This happened to me about 18 months ago and I am tougher and stronger with a greater sense of my own worth than I ever was with him.
You must take charge of this now and don't give him the fucking air space to tell you this is your doing.
You WILL be better off in the long run, however crazy that sounds right now.
flowers

Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 22:23:14

Yes he has form. I forgave more fool me.

I have my sister and BF here with me at the moment can't think straight hmmhmm

Egghead68 Sun 03-Aug-14 22:27:49

Your whole world HASN'T fallen apart.

Just get through one day at a time. Be kind to yourself and gather lots of support around you if you can.

Don't take him back this time.

CoffeeTea103 Sun 03-Aug-14 22:31:40

Op a big hug.

Frogisatwat Sun 03-Aug-14 22:54:50

No your world hasn't fallen apart. .. its upside down and like a messed up jigsaw you can't figure out how to put back together. But it will right. You will put the pieces together. Has he left as in 'left' you?

Waltermittythesequel Sun 03-Aug-14 23:05:19

Your world hasn't fallen apart, even if it feels like right now it has.

Him leaving is the absolute best thing he could have done.

Please, please find the strength to realise you don't need this utter, utter arsehole taking up space in your life.

Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 23:09:06

Well he basically said he didn't want to be with me anymore.
It's always my fault that he isn't happy, because I won't do this or that. He wants more and wants to do more things but I hold him back.

I know I am better off, I know deep down I deserve better but I can't think I feel sick and my head hurts, I know I won't sleep and I have DD 4 and DS2 to look after what do I tel them ?

Frogisatwat Sun 03-Aug-14 23:19:36

You don't tell them anything tomorrow. . Or the next day. Just get your head together. For now he is in work. ..

Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 23:33:41

Well he basically said he didn't want to be with me anymore.
It's always my fault that he isn't happy, because I won't do this or that. He wants more and wants to do more things but I hold him back.

I know I am better off, I know deep down I deserve better but I can't think I feel sick and my head hurts, I know I won't sleep and I have DD 4 and DS2 to look after what do I tel them ?

Justnotimaginitive Sun 03-Aug-14 23:39:14

Sorry didn't mean to double post.

My sister and friend have gone, I'm
In for a long night, how can he do this to me he was meant to love me but clearly he doesn't, every 6 months to a yr he would have a meltdown that his life is shit isn't good enough and I would do everything in my power to make him feel better it was always about him.

Quite how he thinks his life will be different, how he is going to be able to go climb mountains and travel the world when he has 2 children to look after when he has contact I don't know.
I actually hate him right now angry

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