Scared my marriage is in decline

[Isthisitnow]

I have NC for this.
I am all over the place. I need some impartial advice.
I have been married for over four years, together for seven. I guess my relationship history has always been quite difficult in that I struggled with self esteem issues and periodic depression. I think I may have SAD except the summer version. It happens most years at the same time.

My husband is a good man but I find myself feeling increasingly irritated with him. I feel suffocated at times and sometimes think I settled when I married him. I have no sex drive at all so there is very little intimacy. I am not sure if this is hormonal of because I just don't want sex with him.
He went away for a few weeks and I didn't miss him at all. If anything I was enjoying the time with just myself and my DD's (they are not his) we had a number of years on our own before I met DH. The day before he came back I felt quite down about it. I am not sure if this means my marriage is a sham and that it would be better off on my own. I have had quite difficult previous relationships so don't really have any reliable yardsticks.

I am all over the place. We had a big fight a couple of days over a really stupid, trivial thing, and are currently sleeping apart and I am not that bothered. I am terrified that all of this means I should not be with him. Equally, I cannot imagine my life without him.

I am sorry for the meandering waffle.... Just feel so sad and down right now.

[zukkermaus]

Sounds like beyond being a wife and mother there's no "you" time at the moment, which is what you got with his trip away. Remember you're a person too. That's possibly the issue? Do you have anything that's "yours" if you know what I mean?