I have no idea how to solve this.
I have a sister who was dating this guy, all moved v quick, engaged within a month. She then discovered he had a drink problem and asked him to leave. He didn't take this well, smashed up her house and all her possessions, did some other unspeakable things and ended up with a court appearance resulting in a fine and restraining order.
Fast forward 2 months and she is back with him. My DH and I are shocked, but it is not for us to decide who she chooses to be with and we have not said anything to her. However, my Mum is having a family BBQ at the end of the month and wants us all to be there (inc my brother). She has already welcomed this guy into her home (they are both actually living there at the moment, as sis had to leave her house due to the damage this man caused). He has no job, doesn't drive and basically hangs about my Mum's house all day.
I told Mum we would find it difficult to be there (as would my brother, who we spoke to already and he said he feels the same) and she was upset, telling me I was "splitting up the family". I said I would explain our reasons to my sis, but Mum wants to stop me doing this, in the hope that we'll all change our minds before the BBQ and it won't be necessary.
It's not just the BBQ, we are having a do for my youngest in 2 weeks' time and I am going to have to explain to sis that, whilst she is very welcome, we wouldn't feel comfortable having this guy in our home. Aside from anything else, I personally believe he is dangerous.
I can see where my Mum is coming from and I know she is just worried that her kids will end up alienated, but I think this is too serious to compromise on right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't want this to go on forever. I just cannot even bear to look at this guy right now, let alone extend hospitality to him in my own home.
Anyone been in a similar situation?
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Relationships
I am in an impossible situation
NeverMindOhWell · 29/07/2014 15:14
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