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Am I in the wrong or is he when it comes to blow jobs?

(163 Posts)
topofthetree Sun 20-Jul-14 05:28:24

I have tried many times to give him a blow job, but it just never happenes i get so discussed with the thought that i almost throw up. I have no idea why its to the point that i hate even thinking about giving him one. I feel really bad because he would rather have those then sex it seems like. He really gets upset when we come to this topic. our fights get completely out of preportion and i feel like he doesn't even care how i feel. Am I in the wrong or is he

chaseface Mon 21-Jul-14 20:52:41

To repeat the common consensus, he's an unreasonable sod for sulking but I could not stay with a partner who was disgusted by me.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jul-14 20:41:52

A t-shirt with "Get the Fuck to Greggs" ? grin

halfwildlingwoman Mon 21-Jul-14 20:38:37

Sorry, but 'get the fuck to Greggs' has me really giggling here!
Suddenly feeling very guilty and planning to ravish DH with lots of oral sex when he gets home. Clearly I have failed in my duties as a partner recently.

EveMarieSaint Mon 21-Jul-14 18:33:10

Haha Lurcio

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 18:23:42

I want a t-shirt with a Jackie Flemming cartoon on... the one with the man lying on the bed sulking and saying "you would if you loved me," and the woman sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to him saying, "Well, thank God I don't then."

Sorry to hear about your experience, Minime.

Minime85 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:21:49

Lurcio again I agree entirely. No one should be made to feel inadequate or guilty for not wanted to so something.

In essence that's how I lost my virginity because my then bf told me if I loved him I would and I was a naive pressured 16 yr old. I was foolish.

Op I hope you are ok.

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 18:15:16

And it could be that it's the breaking point because of other issues which this is merely a symptom of. My last partner pretty much limited himself going down on me... not because he loved doing it, but because he was absolutely shit scared of getting me pregnant. Now, I like it as part of a varied diet, as it were... but as the only activity, and driven by an almost pathological fear of me getting pregnant - not so good. I really started to crave a bit of good old PIV (and the fling I had after we broke up fortunately supplied that need and confirmed that it had mattered to me). But it wasn't the lack alone that mattered, it was the "why" - it underlined a pretty fundamental incompatibility because I did want children, and underlined a massive lack of trust - because despite wanting children, I would not have messed around with contraception, and would have taken teh MAP had contraception failed. And - turning that scenario round - in OP's case it's not that he wants it that's the problem, it's the way he's setting about it, guilt tripping and putting pressure on her and whining...

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jul-14 18:11:37

I prefer this t-shirt slogan: "(Go) down with sexual coercion" wink

Minime85 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:06:53

Lurcio I agree. The things about bleach and people leaving a relationship all because of oral sex etc. The thread just seems to be going in the same way with very strange comments is what I meant. No offence intended.

I think he is allowed to want it. She is allowed not to want to do it. If that is the breaking point of the relationship then I guess so be it.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Mon 21-Jul-14 18:06:11

Haha grin

EveMarieSaint Mon 21-Jul-14 18:01:09

"Life's too fucking short not to get head."

You should put that on a t-shirt.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Mon 21-Jul-14 17:58:12

Because people like getting head so why should they never get it for the rest of their lives? Life's too fucking short not too smile

If my partner tomorrow said I won't ever give you oral sex again I would have to consider my options because its important to me, and he has a right not to do it either.

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 17:17:04

Okay, let's try an analogy. I love opera. My last long term partner didn't. He came once to see if he liked it and didn't. Did I badger him? Did I whine "you would if you loved me"? Did I stomp and say "it's a deal-breaker"? No - because there was plenty of other stuff - gigs, cinema, country walks, reading the Sunday papers over a long leisurely breakfast and talking politics, etc. etc. - we enjoyed mutually.

Why should sex be different? Surely there's a range of things they both like... So why all this emphasis on one lone act out of many? Sex (above all other things) is an area where "no" trumps "yes" every single time, because anything else is sexual abuse, plain and simple.

neiljames77 Mon 21-Jul-14 16:55:25

It was a man who said "yes".
Or was that the man from Del Monte?

Gatekeeper Mon 21-Jul-14 16:53:24

what was the dolmio comment?

Picklepest Mon 21-Jul-14 16:45:33

Funny I'd have thought in a relationship there was more give and take. I'm by no means suggesting you should expect to have to do every time, but perhaps a few times just as part of everything else. Is there anything you like he's less keen in? If he still does, albeit very occasionally, just because he knows that you like it id call that 'normal'.

Depends I guess on your relationship as a total and really only you can answer it.

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 16:39:42

Except that the dolmio day one was genuinely funny whereas some of the responses on this one are borderline (or indeed way over the border) creepy. If someone says "On the whole I like sex but I really don't like specific act X" there is one and only one appropriate response and that response is: "fair enough everyone's different."

(The dolmio one was funny because no one's partner was being coerced into it - there were a few women whose partners liked to and they liked being on the receiving end and the rest of us were fairly evenly split between "ewww" and " you lucky lucky cow!!!")

Minime85 Mon 21-Jul-14 16:01:10

This thread is reminding me of the one that had the dolmio comment on. I still can't get that image out of my head now.

lasslancashire Mon 21-Jul-14 14:58:48

Yes agree that women taste better but they should really when you think about it. You have to 'taste' a woman throughout the act where as with a man, it's just at the very end of the deed. However an unclean woman tastes much worse than an unclean man.

But still I have to refute no one likes it. I don't LOVE the taste, but a mouthful of come is a very satisfying feeling and I like it cause it's all part of the experience.

Think I can safely say I am in TMI territory here.

They do. Definitely

GirlWithTheLionHeart Mon 21-Jul-14 14:13:14

lass don't get me wrong, I love giving a good bj but the taste...no one likes it. I think women taste better, definitely.

Actually I get the bleach thing. Not as strong obviously. It's a sulphur type smell.

Anyway, surely the bottom line is don't do it if you don't want to, but if there are other issues which may lead to your extreme dislike of this, then they need addressing.

lasslancashire Mon 21-Jul-14 11:32:31

So many sweeping statements on both sides here 'no man is happy without bjs' 'no woman likes the taste but tolerate it cause they are under pressure.'

GWTLH Just for clarification I never give blowys or swallow because I feel 'under pressure.' I do it because I want to, my partner enjoys it, it turns me on and I like to give him pleasure. The taste wouldn't be my beverage of choice but it is hardly stomach turning. And if your bloke 'tastes like bleach' you need to get him down the doctors asap.

Even the most well washed willy has a smell that ain't great and makes me boak if I breath through my nose.
I've smelt a few wiffy ones in my time but a truly well washed willy, fresh out of the shower should have no smell at all (and I have an incredibly sensitive nose).

thenightsky Mon 21-Jul-14 11:20:30

Even the most well washed willy has a smell that ain't great and makes me boak if I breath through my nose.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 21-Jul-14 11:19:58

I wish you hadn't said that, GirlWithTheLionHeart - it's just begging for 259 responses telling you how much they love the taste. Or adverts for strawberry condoms.

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