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Am I in the wrong or is he when it comes to blow jobs?

(163 Posts)
topofthetree Sun 20-Jul-14 05:28:24

I have tried many times to give him a blow job, but it just never happenes i get so discussed with the thought that i almost throw up. I have no idea why its to the point that i hate even thinking about giving him one. I feel really bad because he would rather have those then sex it seems like. He really gets upset when we come to this topic. our fights get completely out of preportion and i feel like he doesn't even care how i feel. Am I in the wrong or is he

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 17:17:04

Okay, let's try an analogy. I love opera. My last long term partner didn't. He came once to see if he liked it and didn't. Did I badger him? Did I whine "you would if you loved me"? Did I stomp and say "it's a deal-breaker"? No - because there was plenty of other stuff - gigs, cinema, country walks, reading the Sunday papers over a long leisurely breakfast and talking politics, etc. etc. - we enjoyed mutually.

Why should sex be different? Surely there's a range of things they both like... So why all this emphasis on one lone act out of many? Sex (above all other things) is an area where "no" trumps "yes" every single time, because anything else is sexual abuse, plain and simple.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Mon 21-Jul-14 17:58:12

Because people like getting head so why should they never get it for the rest of their lives? Life's too fucking short not too smile

If my partner tomorrow said I won't ever give you oral sex again I would have to consider my options because its important to me, and he has a right not to do it either.

EveMarieSaint Mon 21-Jul-14 18:01:09

"Life's too fucking short not to get head."

You should put that on a t-shirt.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Mon 21-Jul-14 18:06:11

Haha grin

Minime85 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:06:53

Lurcio I agree. The things about bleach and people leaving a relationship all because of oral sex etc. The thread just seems to be going in the same way with very strange comments is what I meant. No offence intended.

I think he is allowed to want it. She is allowed not to want to do it. If that is the breaking point of the relationship then I guess so be it.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jul-14 18:11:37

I prefer this t-shirt slogan: "(Go) down with sexual coercion" wink

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 18:15:16

And it could be that it's the breaking point because of other issues which this is merely a symptom of. My last partner pretty much limited himself going down on me... not because he loved doing it, but because he was absolutely shit scared of getting me pregnant. Now, I like it as part of a varied diet, as it were... but as the only activity, and driven by an almost pathological fear of me getting pregnant - not so good. I really started to crave a bit of good old PIV (and the fling I had after we broke up fortunately supplied that need and confirmed that it had mattered to me). But it wasn't the lack alone that mattered, it was the "why" - it underlined a pretty fundamental incompatibility because I did want children, and underlined a massive lack of trust - because despite wanting children, I would not have messed around with contraception, and would have taken teh MAP had contraception failed. And - turning that scenario round - in OP's case it's not that he wants it that's the problem, it's the way he's setting about it, guilt tripping and putting pressure on her and whining...

Minime85 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:21:49

Lurcio again I agree entirely. No one should be made to feel inadequate or guilty for not wanted to so something.

In essence that's how I lost my virginity because my then bf told me if I loved him I would and I was a naive pressured 16 yr old. I was foolish.

Op I hope you are ok.

LurcioAgain Mon 21-Jul-14 18:23:42

I want a t-shirt with a Jackie Flemming cartoon on... the one with the man lying on the bed sulking and saying "you would if you loved me," and the woman sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to him saying, "Well, thank God I don't then."

Sorry to hear about your experience, Minime.

EveMarieSaint Mon 21-Jul-14 18:33:10

Haha Lurcio

halfwildlingwoman Mon 21-Jul-14 20:38:37

Sorry, but 'get the fuck to Greggs' has me really giggling here!
Suddenly feeling very guilty and planning to ravish DH with lots of oral sex when he gets home. Clearly I have failed in my duties as a partner recently.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jul-14 20:41:52

A t-shirt with "Get the Fuck to Greggs" ? grin

chaseface Mon 21-Jul-14 20:52:41

To repeat the common consensus, he's an unreasonable sod for sulking but I could not stay with a partner who was disgusted by me.

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