Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating thread 77

(1000 Posts)
neiljames77 Sun 20-Jul-14 03:26:23

Just got in from my holiday and saw that 76 was full. smile

louby44 Sun 20-Jul-14 11:17:24

neil hope you've had a good time!

Had to cancel my date with Mr Keen as don't feel well today! He is gutted and has rung me twice and asked if he can come over and look after me!! Wants to meet for coffee if I feel better later. He is mega keen!

Also a bit sneeped that he was online on POF earlier, which is fine as I've only seen him three times but he told me he hasn't been on there since he met me (lie) and that he's not looking for anyone else (possible lie). I have said that my profile is still active and after 3 dates have made no promises that I aren't still looking!!

I know it's silly, he can look all he wants but why say one thing and then do another!

AndCatMakesThree Sun 20-Jul-14 11:24:41

Hope you had a good holiday Neil.

Louby, Mr Keen does sound very keen indeed! I like men who are keen (playing hard to get doesn't do it for me at all) but I think there sometimes comes a point where someone's just too keen and then it's a bit off-putting. And I agree with what you say about POF - it's fine to be on there after a few dates if you haven't agreed anything different, but it would annoy me if he was lying to me - there's just no need for it!

MadeMan Sun 20-Jul-14 11:31:03

Louby Mr Keen does sound keen if he's prepared to catch the lurgies off you after only three dates.

LynseyPynsey Sun 20-Jul-14 11:53:55

Hi ladies first time poster! Long story short split up from my son's dad around 3 months ago. I'm 21 and we were together since I'd just turned 18 so 3 years and have an 18 month old. Fairly amicable split and much happier now.

Anyway, been testing the water a bit although not looking for anything too serious (i dont think?) So have joined Tinder and got chatting to a guy who's the same age as xBF, is in the same profession and also has a young son. Friends think it's hilarious.

Tinder guy has made it clear that he isn't looking for anything serious as well but I'm really enjoying chatting to him and having that excitement of receiving a text message from someone is nice too!

Should I take things further? Initiate a date? I'm not sure what I want to do, any advice?

neiljames77 Sun 20-Jul-14 12:27:28

My holiday was fine thanks. A bit quiet but I wasn't after a holiday where I was doing handstands with nowt on in Magaluf.

The most worrying thing about Mr Keen is the fact that he wants (or offered) to go clothes shopping with you. Being keen is one thing but to volunteer to go clothes shopping with a woman tells me that the bloke is unhinged!!!! grin

JackAndGills Sun 20-Jul-14 12:32:22

Lynsey have fun, but just be mindful that you're a Mum this time around and DS is now part of the package.

AndCatMakesThree Sun 20-Jul-14 12:40:02

Lynsey, do you want to meet him or are you happy just messaging? You sound unsure about whether you want anything serious or not, so do you think you'd feel ok if this guy is just looking for something very casual or a ONS?

Minime85 Sun 20-Jul-14 12:47:27

Nice to see u back neiljames and glad holiday was good.

Louby he certainly sounds keen. I think it's ok to be online like you say if haven't agreed otherwise. I do always look too though too to see if he is on! It's the saying one thing and doing another like you said which is a bit uncomfortable. I think I'd ask him out right, see what his reaction is

LynseyPynsey Sun 20-Jul-14 12:58:18

That's the thing, I've been on nights out and had guys chat me up etc and as soon as I mention my son they run a mile! I'm not looking for a father for my son, he has a dad. I'm not sure what I want? I think I honestly just want some attention and to feel attractive to someone as haven't felt that way in a long time (xBF and I argued daily for a year before we split..) I just worry about other people thinking negatively about me if I was to go down the casual route as obviously I'm a mum now..

louby44 Sun 20-Jul-14 13:23:46

neil the clothes shopping is for him, not me!! He's lost quite a bit of weight and needs new stuff! there are some men who actually like shopping you know, my ex did too!

My illness is self inflicted - hangover!!

lynsey if someone doesn't like the fact that you have a child they are worth bothering with. Sometimes it's good to have a ONS just to prove to yourself that you've still got it!!

LynseyPynsey Sun 20-Jul-14 13:36:36

I'm thinking of biting the bullet and asking him to meet for a drink after my driving lesson tomorrow evening, DS is at his dad's and Tinder guy is travelling to Glasgow to work the Commonwealth Games (police officer) for 2 weeks on Wednesday. What's the worst he can say, no?!

louby44 Sun 20-Jul-14 13:47:36

that should say aren't worth bothering about!

Minime85 Sun 20-Jul-14 13:51:21

Lynsey like u say why not...ask him smile

LynseyPynsey Sun 20-Jul-14 13:53:42

I will send him a message, he was working night shift and didn't get home til 10am so might take a while to reply but will keep use updated ;)

Pinklaydee1302 Sun 20-Jul-14 15:19:58

Well I went away for 2 days with mr postie this weekend. Had a nice time, he's a great guy but I just don't feel excited by him. Also he had bedroom problems which at the risk of sounding shallow did not help matters.

Just don't know what I want anymore, on paper he ticks all the right boxes hmm

neiljames77 Sun 20-Jul-14 15:52:17

.....must.......resist......any.......postie jokes.......

(I will resist though, honestly)

neiljames77 Sun 20-Jul-14 16:20:35

I think your age might work against you unfortunately Lynsey.
A lot of blokes around your age won't go for someone with a kid/kids, given the choice.
Most men who are looking to date women in their 30's and 40's will not just accept but expect them to have kids.

louby44 Sun 20-Jul-14 16:35:08

pink oh dear! So shall you be seeing him again? Was it just nerves do you think?

neiljames77 Sun 20-Jul-14 16:48:14

Perhaps the problem wasn't so much the lack of delivery but the size of the parcel.

(sorry)

LynseyPynsey Sun 20-Jul-14 16:58:29

I know I completely understand that, xBF is 29 (as is tinder guy) I think I just want to have some fun for now anyway!

Pinklaydee1302 Sun 20-Jul-14 16:58:43

Neil grin you could be right tho!

Yes Louby He said he was very nervous and had put pressure on himself but wasn't happening. Made me feel like a bit of a nymph shock

neiljames77 Sun 20-Jul-14 17:21:49

Letters give him the benefit of the doubt then. My postie comes a lot later than he used to. Doesn't have to mean he's no good in the sack. Don't envelope yourself with too many emotions with him but at the same time, don't stamp on his feelings.

millymolliemandy07 Sun 20-Jul-14 17:35:37

Pinklaydee -are you going to keep going with postie and hope he grows on you?

Louby -he is definitely keen!! I agree with you. Its odd but I think some men feel they have to lie about still browsing. I much prefer it when people are honest as its off putting when you catch them out. I wouldn't mention it to him though as I think it makes you look abit stalkerish, like you're checking up on him, just file it away ;-)

Pinklaydee1302 Sun 20-Jul-14 17:59:14

Ha ha most amusing Neiljames grin

I'm not sure what to do milliemollie. I do like him and he the kind of guy you know would look after you and I do like that thought but I wish I was starting to feel more though hmm

This thread is not accepting new messages.