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Short tempered date

(22 Posts)
Liger123 Sat 19-Jul-14 09:44:49

Was on a date last night with a man I've been seeing for a couple of months. Everything fine so far, but there was something that bothered me.

We were having a goodnight kiss and some (drunken) guy shouted "get a room" (how original). I laughed it off, but it made my date irrationally angry. He started swearing about how "people should mind their own fucking business" etc etc, and was advancing towards the guy who said it- had I not dragged him away there's a chance it would have got nasty. Minutes later he said "people like that need a punch".

I told him not to be so ridiculous and that the guy wasn't worth a reaction. However, after seeing this side of him, it's got me a bit worried. Apart from that he is lovely, it has really shocked me. He hadn't even had that much to drink (though that wouldn't have been an excuse).

Is it normal for some men to get on like this or should I run a mile?

NatashaBee Sat 19-Jul-14 09:48:54

Run! It sounds like his mask is starting to slip already. Was he drunk at the time?

something2say Sat 19-Jul-14 09:49:22

No that's not normal. It's a snap shot of what is to come.

I once went on an internet date. He was argumentative before we'd even ordered drinks. He was talking about what a horrible person his mother was and getting angry about it. Red flag I did not heed because he was massive and fit...

Two weeks later I could add....
Embarrassing controlling behaviour in front of my friends.
Shouting at me.
Asking if I had an eating disorder because I did not want to come for dinner as was seeing my friend.
Crawling across the floor after the shouting, saying 'Look!!! My body is lower than yours - not aggressive, not aggressive. Please don't leave!!!'

Run. Find another man!

NatashaBee Sat 19-Jul-14 09:49:27

Duh, missed your comment about him not having had much to drink. Definitely run!

Run. If this is the honeymoon period, do you really want the marriage? Thought not.

Liger123 Sat 19-Jul-14 10:09:33

Natasha he had three single G&T's- surely not enough to get a grown man drunk enough to act that?

Something that sounds dreadful! I must admit, he is very easy on the eye which may be clouding my judgement. It's not worth it though if he is acting like this so early into the relationship.

May just have to cut my losses... Thanks all

something2say Sat 19-Jul-14 10:11:26

Terrible shame liger isn't it.
My guy was fantastic in the sack! But that argumentative personality, no way.
I can't bear men who fight in the street or are aggressive like that. No way.

Any more on the horizon?

louby44 Sat 19-Jul-14 10:15:18

Definitely a red flag! Move on!

WildBillfemale Sat 19-Jul-14 10:16:10

Not a sign of an easy going friendly bloke for sure - as someone above said the mask is slipping.......

Fairy13 Sat 19-Jul-14 10:35:06

I can remember DH (we're now separated) on our third date, meeting me at the pub. He was irrationally angry about 'bloody portsmouth completely shit' because he couldn't find a PARKING SPACE.

On the next date he was in a strop because we went to the cinema and a man walked past with big arms - I looked at him too long.

Learn from my mistakes. Marrying that man was the most stupid thing I have ever done, I should have headed my gut. And brain!!

oldgrandmama Sat 19-Jul-14 10:41:43

Oooh, he was drinking gin? My ex used to get VERY aggressive when he'd drunk the stuff. Anyway, he sounds like one to avoid.

MadeMan Sat 19-Jul-14 10:44:06

No not good. When DH and I were first dating we had the exact same scenario where someone shouted get a room at us. We just laughed about it and got a room

YvyB Sat 19-Jul-14 10:52:09

Run. I waited til I'd been thrown across a room but the red flags had been there had I wanted to see them. He's just shown you he thinks he's completely justified in acting aggressively in public. What do you think he'd be like behind closed doors?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Sat 19-Jul-14 10:54:01

You've been seeing him for a couple months.. now (as another poster has stated) the mask is slipping. He's either feeling more comfortable showing you the "real" him or he cannot maintain the "nice guy" persona.

Run.

Minime85 Sat 19-Jul-14 11:00:26

I'd have a proper sit down conversation with him about how it has made you uncomfortable and see how he reacts

JackAndGills Sat 19-Jul-14 12:15:09

Run for the hills or soon he'll be shouting abuse in you face.

Dirtybadger Sat 19-Jul-14 12:23:11

Don't bother with a sit down conversation. It's only been a few months, clean break- move on. Sounds awful and a complete over reaction. It will only get worse!

flatbellyfella Sat 19-Jul-14 12:38:28

How long before he turns on you?

aylesburyduck Sat 19-Jul-14 13:05:48

When I met STBXP he had a strop on date 1 because a male friend text to see if I was free for a coffee the following day. I looked at my text because he said, "grin oooh that'll be a friend checking to see if you're okay"

Date 2 he accused me of still being active in a dating site, cue my frantic denial and a further sulk

...fwiw I have no bloody idea why I didn't run for the hills at this point...

A very considerable time later I left with my self worth in absolute tatters. His behaviour may be a one off but it has made you question it and very often it us our gut we should listen to rather than the apologies, excuses blah blah blah that come after the event.

NatashaBee Sat 19-Jul-14 13:08:37

Gin does funny things to me too, it makes me very emotional and i always spend the evening getting maudlin and sad. No excuse for his behaviour though.

FabULouse Sat 19-Jul-14 13:22:12

No no no
Just no

Do you want to be spending every trip out worrying about him getting aggressive to people?

He's an arsehole pure and simple and this attitude and corresponding behaviour will fuck up your mental health and life if you continue to associate with it

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