Compared to, say, the 1980s when I grew up? It seems that today, people have so many distractions and excuses that allow them to zone out in a way that simply was not possible when we had four TV channels and that was it. My parents always sat together in the evening, watched telly, then went to bed at the same time. I feel that now, with Internet in general and facebook, phones and private devices (ipads, tablets), it is so easy to be in the same house but on completely different planets. Not even starting on the way these devices can facilitate certain types of behavior, which so quickly seems to engender suspicion and jealousy. All these little private conversations and experiences going on, I wonder whether they have a corrosive effect on one-to-one relationships that we haven't fully appreciated.
The most extreme example I can think of straight away is the easy availability of porn, which must have an effect, simply because we are the first generation of people who have had to negotiate our relationships in the context of the hyper-availability of pornographic images. The ease with which a person can see porn on a phone, while sharing a house or even a bed with their partner is something relatively new, and I can't see how this can be positive in a relationship. Or how couples learn to negotiate the complexities that come with this sort of behaviour.
But even without porn, it seems that couples can spend a huge amount of their "together" time in separate bubbles, seeing different things, being exposed to completely separate stimuli. I think that this must prevent some of the growth as a couple that shared experiences and interests used to bring. When we have the same cultural references we tend to develop similar values and ideals. But now, a couple can spend their time seeing different things and never discussing them or accessing the others world.
I don't know why I'm thinking about this now - just musing on the differences between my parent's relationship and mine I suppose. This was something that jumped out at me.
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Relationships
Are relationships more fragile these days?
thalassa · 18/07/2014 13:11
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