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Is this guy for real?

(47 Posts)
Scarletohello Fri 11-Jul-14 17:34:23

So I recently joined plenty of fish dating website in a vain attempt to meet someone nice but OMG there are some strange guys out there..!

This is an example of one of them. Should I meet him ( think I know the answer..)?

About Moomin
Hi,
I would describe myself as a bit of an 80's kinda guy, Im a massive Micheal Jackson fan, would love to have met him. You could say hes my hero. My ideal partner would love Greggs as i cant go a day without it.

I am good man looking 4 a good woman so if u like moomins (moomin being my nickname) i am your man. I take u out to greggs or tbh i wouldnt even mind going halfs on a bag of chips. As you can imagine i like to have fun! I like 2 c my mates, I like golf football etc i like all sorts of music i am a funny person i wouldd love 2 meet someone who likes me being me. im not the best of spellers lol i just like partying and having a good time, you got to keep smiling i say....

My ideal partner would have a love of Micheal Jackson tbh if not there wouldnt really be any point. Most of my spare time is spent perfecting his moves as one day i hope to make it big and iknow i will. I perform his music at alot of bars around the country. i doesnt pay yet but im not one to give up! I need to find that special someone who will drive me to gigs and collect me from hospitals after gigs.. maybe one day ill meet her!

AnyFucker Fri 11-Jul-14 17:36:20

collect me from hospitals after gigs ? confused

why is he ending up in hospital ? Groin strain after moonwalking ?

Scarletohello Fri 11-Jul-14 17:36:32

I did actually send him a message ( after he'd contacted me) saying, your profile is a joke, right?

Not heard anything since..( Daily Mail sad face)

fourforksache Fri 11-Jul-14 17:37:48

grin

you do know he sounds a loon, right?

AnyFucker Fri 11-Jul-14 17:38:07

Christ, if that is the quality of males out there, if I ever leave DH I am staying single for ever

VerityWaves Fri 11-Jul-14 17:38:10

Absolutely PMSL

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:14

Ha ha that's great please meet him and report back! I need to know about the hospital bit too

ShakeYourTailFeathers Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:26

<snort> well, hold me back, he sounds irresistable.... grin

From what I hear PoF is full of twats. Try a diff site OP.

KatoPotato Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:27

He's being super ironic, right?

Gads you'd hope so! And if so he could be a hoot!

Scarletohello Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:50

I know, I just had to spread the joy. He can't be for real... Surely??

chockbic Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:54

Halfs on a bag of chips...oh the old charmer..

itwillgetbettersoon Fri 11-Jul-14 17:40:13

I've just joined POF too. One guy told me he loved Greggs donuts! I don't reply to any that just say hi - I'm learning to toughen up on there.

AnyFucker Fri 11-Jul-14 17:42:01

I do like Gregg's do-nuts though

Juicyjuicer Fri 11-Jul-14 17:42:36

That is a joke profile girls!

LongTimeLurking Fri 11-Jul-14 17:44:15

Apart from the last line he sounds quiet sweet... in a totally weird way.

But I do believe there is someone out there for everyone...

chockbic Fri 11-Jul-14 17:45:34

The chips line cracked me up whether he's real or not.

BalloonSlayer Fri 11-Jul-14 17:49:16

Ask him "what about meeting someone who likes you being you but has the utter cringing arsecreeps about you being Michael Jackson?"

Scarletohello Fri 11-Jul-14 17:50:31

And here's another charmer...


IF YOU HAVE HAD A MESSAGE FROM ME AND IM NOT YOUR TYPE PLEASE SIMPLE RELPY SAYING NO THANKS, AS GOOD MANNERS COST NOTHING
acknowledgement of a message is far better the ignorance and then you may not get other messages as one can be sure that you have received the message.

If your looking for Brad Pitt! I don't think you going to find him on here, unless you look like Angelina Jolie, so lets be real about it

It amazes me why there are so many beautiful people on here and yet they have been on here for so long??? God they must be very fussy! Or is it just a game to them?
Why do I get the feeling when you lady's say you’re "looking for a real gentleman" you mean you’re looking for another sucker to take advantage of ?

I don't have a fast car and im not looking for any super models with fake boobs

I’m a white single man 6’2" tall, With a 34" waist very broad shoulders 48”chest with blue eyes and a sexy shaved head ha ha .
I don’t have any tattoos or body piercing; I don’t mind the odd tattoo on a woman.

I'm a individual whose work/life balance is more on the work side at the moment, due to not having anything better to do to take my mind off it.
I have a dry sometimes sarcastic sense of humour, and can be quite quick witted sometimes but never with the intention to hurt anybody, yet I know when and where to be sarcastic, adaptable to most surroundings and don’t have any expectations in life apart from respect for each other.
I am looking to MEET someone special rather than just chat online and text, I don’t need any pen pals, if we feel a connection with each other then sure I would like to possibly form a relationship.
I’m a straight guy hoping to meet a genuine nice female, who has as much free time for us as they spend on here.

This is a dating site NOT a chat room for them who have NO intention of meeting someone, I’m starting to think that chatters are afraid of commitment in some way, they also seem to spared them self so thin by chatting to so many at the same time, one can only ask one’s self what are they doing on a dating site wasting everyone’s time ?

And its not a trade index for them who are looking to date someone just to get some work done on the house/car or anything else.

What is it with all you women with your scantily clad photos of yourself on here? Can’t we leave something to our imaginations until we get to know each other? Sometimes the brightest bait has no Taste!,,,,,,,,,,, I,E " KateKKateKate " and I don't have or want whatsapp ok thank you

I’ve been told I’m soft but strong, sounds like andrex to me lol. If you’re looking for someone to fit in to a box you have in your mind, I might not be the one you’re looking for, or I could be a refreshing change.

I read this on a woman’s profile "I don't reply to all emails for obvious reasons but you are all respected and appreciated"
Well if that’s ok to give out to the boys then it ok for me to say,
I don't reply to all emails from mingers, freeloads, timewasters, and brassy tarts for obvious reasons but you are all respected and appreciated.
if you can’t take it don’t give it out lol

If Anyone Asks, we met at the Sex-Drugs and Rock & Roll Rehabilitation ok

Please click link below for disclaimer

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaapWsqE--0

My profile should be taken with a pinch of salt; if you have found it to be harsh then you don't have a dry sense of humour like me

neiljames77 Fri 11-Jul-14 17:51:16

His tribute act must be pretty bad (no pun intended) if his audience keep putting him in hospital.

I can't believe he likes the moomins. (I'm a button moon man meself)

AnyFucker Fri 11-Jul-14 17:52:55

That last one hates women and he hates himself grin

fourforksache Fri 11-Jul-14 17:54:39

grin that last one's a keeper wink shock

flappityfanjos Fri 11-Jul-14 17:54:51

Well, he's right, my sense of humour is not like his. confused

Scarletohello Fri 11-Jul-14 17:57:51

The second one, I sent him a message saying that he sounded bitter and his attitude to women was disrespectful and he replied saying that I had a chip on my shoulder. WTF??!

PlumpPartridge Fri 11-Jul-14 17:59:26

Ooh, that second one sounds AMAZING.

<fans self with DH's copy of Scientific American>

Scarletohello Fri 11-Jul-14 18:10:26

And finally, this prize specimen..,

Do you want to build a snowman
Or ride our bike around the halls?
I think some company is overdue
I've started talking to the pictures on the walls
(Hang in there, Joan!)
It gets a little lonely
All these empty rooms
Just watching the hours tick by

hi there and welcome to my profile
come in sit down and look at the art
This is my body And I live in it It's 39 And 3 months old
It's changed a lot since it was new It's done stuff it wasn't built to do
I often try to fill it up with pizza And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it But it never says a bad word about me

This is my body And it's fine It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect But it's mine It's not perfect

This is my brain And I live in it It's made of love And bad song lyrics
It's tucked away behind my eyes Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find Is the basis of a brand new cliché

This is my brain And it's fine It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect
But it's mine
It's not perfect

actually I'm a great catch for the right lady I am totally house trained low mileage thou bodywork is showing signs of rust
i love DIY and I don't mean the sort that sends you blind from putting up shelves to building walk in wardrobes I know one end of a screw driver from the other
I mad about Tim Minchin
I'm a Geek I can watch Discovery channel for hours I love to see what makes things work I'm Sheldon Cooper meets Dave Lister
I love my garden I am very proud of winning Kenilworth In Bloom 2 years Running
I've done 13 years of Charity work and now it's time to spend some time on ME
I'm going grey I have given up fighting vainity
I tought Mr Grey everything he Knows
I love my dog Charlie my exs family hated dogs so had to leave him alot to tolerate their kids
I like children I have been step dad to 2 lovely boys in the past
I watch way too much TV from Red Drawf to Big Bang to Discovery channel
I like my films the more sci fi and funny the better
I love Mashed potatoes with just about anything
I don't drink or do drugs I've been there got out alive
i like waking up late on a sunday morning holding someone I care about then going for a walk with the dog to a cafe on a canal or park having a late fry up
I love my holiday retreat in Cornwall it's my hidy hole and will happily spend hours on the beach without a care in the world
I like ladies to look lady like once in a while it's not sexist it's just sometimes you want too feel every man is looking at your girl so she feels as beautiful as I tell her everyday
I'm self employed
I'm shy to start with but worth it
Well done for reading this you qualify for a calorie free cupcake
To collect just message with cupcake
dislikes
I don't really want to do a negitive section
but people who nag really get my goat
yes I am going to eat this or smoke that fag and yes it's 3 sugars it's a bloody big mug of tea
I hate dentist they are cruel evil sadistic people whose ways haven't advanced since Henry IIIV times
people who correct my spelling (while you are pointing my defects I have a mole on my hairy ....
prudes ok I don't expect sexy chat but bloody hell lady there as to be a physical attraction
Ladies if you're going to do pics why oh why say "likes to laugh" then put 8 pictures up of you looking like a pitball licking wee off a stinging nettle
I'm no Vin Deasel or Twiglet Vampire plonker I know but look at this way you know I wont cheat cos no one wants to do me lol and you're just being shallow
Having standards is good but remember you can't have a custom fit guy in a off the peg world
also why take pics of your boobs hanging out and then get shitty and spend you're whole profile complaining about men looking at them
Evolutionary theory says bosoms are buttock-like protrusions
Designed to tempt men in situations
When they can't get a glimpse of your bum
I find such hypotheses dumb
It's like the one that says
Lipstick is for making your lips look more
Like the lips of a happy vagina
Since they said that
I can't look my great aunt
In the eye
Why'd they have to say that, oh why?

We're just **ing monkeys in shoes

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