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Threesome advice

(181 Posts)
naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:25:28

Recently, both DH and I have been thinking of having a threesome with another man. Quite nervous about the idea in actuality but loved the fantasy.

In the last week a man (quite by chance) has entered my life who I have really clicked with. I like him a lot and would really like to be the third person. He has agreed in principle to this.

Can anyone offer any sane and sound advice regarding threesomes?

I'm not a troll and this is a genuine question.

Hobby2014 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:28:07

I just wouldn't go there personally. You'll be opening a whole can of worms. Especially if you've clicked with the person, like them a lot etc it's too personal almost. Will you see them in every day life? What if you start falling for the other person? Sorry I'm not of much help.

chockbic Thu 10-Jul-14 17:28:18

Make sure you get it in writing!

DeadCert Thu 10-Jul-14 17:28:50

You met him in the last week and have since asked him to take part in a threesome involving your husband.

Chinny reckon.

ivykaty44 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:28:55

The fantasy may be very different from the reality. Have you considered how sex between you and your do maybe afterwards - would it be enough? Have you considered how your dpbfeels about you "clicking" with another man?

Namechangearoonie123 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:29:26

The actuality is not going to be as good as the fantasy 99% of the time

In your head he's George Clooney, in real life he has musty balls and skid marks, ingrowing toenails and snorts when he laughs.

borisgudanov Thu 10-Jul-14 17:29:54

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GiniCooper Thu 10-Jul-14 17:31:05

What kind of advice are you looking for?

You seem to have made up your mind about it.

Wilford Thu 10-Jul-14 17:31:51

No advice really other than go for it if you are both in agreement. I've done it once and have to honestly say I wouldn't do it again as it wasn't quite all it was cracked up to be. But I know others who regularly practice it and love it.
So I would certainly suggest it's worth trying as I'm still glad it's something I can say I've done!

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:32:33

Sorry Boris grin am not a troll or a schoolkid.

Deadcert - I've met him on fetlife. It got very intense very quickly. very very unusual for me - never done this before, hence asking for advice.

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:33:37

I suppose advice in the sense of things to avoid or perhaps things to do.

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:34:54

chockbic I have it in writing grin

Kleptronic Thu 10-Jul-14 17:35:18

You've known someone a week, invited participation in a threesome, he said yes? You want sound, sane advice?

Have a word with yourself.

Apart from that, which probably comes from me being unable to frame how you'd negotiate safe, respectful rules with this stranger in the marital bed, or how you'd both cope with the altered dynamic in the marriage afterwards, I can't type for the pounding hooves vibrations so I'm outta here. Maybe you've both got that sorted already. Maybe you've got an open marriage. Maybe I should do what I said and stop wasting brain time boggling. grin

Good luck! And use protection.

Jan45 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:37:01

You sure this is what you want OP, and it's not your OH encouraging it?

warysara Thu 10-Jul-14 17:38:22

Is he happy with swords crossing?

Lay down the ground rules ... who touches who and where!

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:38:29

Kleptronic I didn't ask, he offered. Its at a time where we had been considering. Nothing is set in stone yet though. Sex definitely NOT in marital bed.

I really would like advice from people who have been there before and with the greatest respect, my OP wasn't about inviting people to judge my lifestyle. It was asking for advice.

Namechangearoonie123 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:38:32

If I just keep saying musty balls will it put you off?

grin

Spitroasts are best left for meat products only.

Pangaea Thu 10-Jul-14 17:39:24

I've had threesomes. The only way I would do it in the future is with three single people.

The drama of getting wires crossed and feelings hurt isn't for me.

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:40:12

jan45 can I ask a question? Why can't it be the woman who brings up the idea of threesomes? grin

warysara good advice. Boundaries would need to be checked before it started.

LegoCaltrops Thu 10-Jul-14 17:40:32

You say you've clicked with this other man. Is your DH aware of this, perhaps he was thinking of inviting someone neither of yiu had particularly clicked with? I would be concerned that he (your DH) may get jealous & things would turn sour if he felt that the choice of 3rd party was just yours.

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:41:14

namechange It might! That's grim!

pangaea thanks for that. I will ponder on it.

LegoCaltrops Thu 10-Jul-14 17:41:17

Gah. Meant to say, "neither of you".

Jan45 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:42:16

Because OP, it's usually the man pushing for it, that's why I asked.

Perhaps you're better going on a swinging site, I'm not sure us traditional folk on MN are going to be much use to you, you're bound to get better responses there, from people who have and are into it.

naicesex Thu 10-Jul-14 17:42:41

lego i had originally thought that too, its just happened this way in this instance.

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