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What do you make of these birthday gifts?

(68 Posts)
Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 11:56:42

I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months. It is my birthday today but I saw him last night. We had a lovely evening etc etc.

My bday presents are: an aromatherapy associates candle and bath oils gift set, a rampant rabbit, crotchless knickers and a "Booty Bundle

I think he is slightly offended by the fact that I laughed so much I cried.

I do feel a bit meh he forgot a card.

Really what are your thoughts on these gifts?

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 11:57:59

Ps I have name changed for obvious reasons!

CocktailQueen Fri 27-Jun-14 12:01:52

Really? That he can't decide between romance and lust? At least you know what he thinks of you ;-) You've been seeing him only a couple of months????

Interested to know why you want to know what we think? I mean, it's not us that have been given these gifts. Is there more back story here?
How do you feel about it? Apart from amused?

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:04:11

Yes, I suggested last night (in bed, after opening the gifts) that he had the wrong impression of me!

I had thought we were both enjoying the start of a romantic relationship....now I'm not so sure confused.

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:05:15

I suppose I want to know if these are gifts that you might think were appropriate in these circs?

Are you already using toys together? I mean before he gave you this thoughtful present?
Are you seeing him tonight? Maybe he's got a more thoughtful gift for you that he's saving to give you today, along with a card?

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:08:04

No, not already using toys together though having lots of sex. Not seeing him tonight due to childcare stuff, will prob see him on Sat or Sun.

Happy Birthday btw wine cake

As to appropriate it depends what's been going on between the two of you up till now, that's why I wondered about back story. If you've already been using a lot of toys etc during sex together, then it's not particularly inappropriate. Or if you've mentioned wanting to try some etc.

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:09:41

3 sex toy type gifts just seems a bit too much.

I'm finding it really hard to articulate how I feel about it all or why it doesn't quite feel right.

xposted. Have you discussed using toys?
Otherwise, I do think it's a bit inappropriate. Most new couples have lots of sex at first but a gift like this seems lazy and clueless if you haven't given him the impression that you love toys and want more of them!

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:10:53

He's mentioned it. They feel more like gifts for him than me, I think that's why I feel uncomfortable.

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:11:56

I already have a vibrator type thing and told him I wasn't v fussed with it!

Youdontneedacriminallawyer Fri 27-Jun-14 12:13:35

agree - sounds like he's bought himself a present, not you. I wouldn't be at all happy.

Slumberparty Fri 27-Jun-14 12:14:44

Wow, I clicked on the booty bundle and nearly spat out my tea! If you've never done or discussed anal with him before then it's really inappropriate I think! Bet he thought he was in for a real wild night..!

Wowbirthdaygirl Fri 27-Jun-14 12:17:33

Have done anal with him before. It's not my favourite activity though!

Twinklestein Fri 27-Jun-14 12:18:30

After only 2 months together it's presumptuous and all about him.

I would infer from 'booty bundle' that he's keen to stretch his anus.

MerryMarigold Fri 27-Jun-14 12:18:40

I'd run a mile.

He is selfish. No thanks.

He's into anal. No thanks. (I know it's personal, but no thanks for me)

He's tactless and immature. No thanks.

MerryMarigold Fri 27-Jun-14 12:19:10

Oh, and he's probably into porn. No thanks.

Walkacrossthesand Fri 27-Jun-14 12:20:57

This would annoy me too. There was another thread this morning (can't find it now) where someone had slept with a new OD partner and was pissed off that the texts now were all about sex - seems like a similar thing to me, like the relationship is all about the sex rather than you as a person. It would make me want to pull back and insist on less sex, more chat and nonsex activities tbh - and if he didn't like that, curtains.

Stickaflakeinit Fri 27-Jun-14 12:20:58

Hmmm. If its a very sexually driven relationship and this is the sort of thing you are using / discussing using - then fine.

If he has brought you these gifts with not even a hint from you that you are up for using sex toys and wearing fetishistic undies? Creepy.

I don't think I'd like it either and I love my toys and they were bought for me by OH.
But not for my birthday.
And not 2 months in.

I agree with Merry as well.

CanaryYellow Fri 27-Jun-14 12:27:07

The gifts are all about him, with an afterthought of an aromatherapy candle and bath oils which look like they're for you... probably so you can get yourself in the mood.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 27-Jun-14 12:33:31

He is seeing your relationship as primarily sexual, which is fine if you're on the same page, but if you thought you were going to get hearts and flowers then here is your answer.

I expect he didn't get a card because he didn't want to have to decide how to write it.

2 months in can be a real grey area, but if a guy really liked you and wanted a proper relationship that might go somewhere then he'd either take you out, or play it safe with flowers or something at that stage of a relationship. Not buy you a butt-plug.

The additional information you've given has been helpful.
Agree with PP's that his perception of the relationship is more sexual than romantic and caring.
Also completely understand you feeling that these "gifts" are for him, rather than you. If using toys had been something you'd discussed together and you'd said you like them a lot and wanted more, then fair enough. But that's not the case.
Sorry OP.

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