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New man: just sex?

(34 Posts)
Ships99 Tue 17-Jun-14 18:39:19

I've met a new man via OLD. He's attractive to me and we seem to get on well... Texted lots and lots over the last month. Met once in a pub and once at his house where we DTD.
I've been hurt before and I do want the contact and affection from a normal relationship. He texted today with "I don't have time to 'date'. I have little free time so in that time i would rather have 'sexy fun' than sit in a pub or have a meal. Im not closed to a relationship... Just dont feel i can commit anwhere enough time but if i ended up in a relationship i'd be happy"....
I do like him and the sex was good... But should I bin and move on???

Rafflesway Tue 17-Jun-14 21:33:00

Definitely dump! Why not take the upper hand and say you are so relieved to have received his text today as you didn't want to hurt his feelings but you have just met up with old BF and the two of you have decided to give things another go. (Or something similar which would suit your personality.) Mega thanks for two lovely evenings and wish him all the best!

God he really thinks he is a prize catch doesn't he? You definitely need to make him feel that he most certainly isn't but stay cool at the same time.

Pennastucky Tue 17-Jun-14 22:15:47

He is telling you he just wants sex. Believe him.

I would bin him off just for using the term 'sexy fun', personally.

Viviennemary Tue 17-Jun-14 22:25:31

What an ego he must have. Let him become somebody else's problem not yours. He sounds a vile selfish conceited pita.

Greenwayslide Tue 17-Jun-14 22:30:44

Don't think there is anything wrong with just wanting sex. Where this guy has gone wrong is the if it turns into a relationship I would be happy line. That is simply to get you to go along with just sex with the 'hope' of more.

MyLatest Wed 18-Jun-14 00:02:25

Sexy fun? Are you dating Borat? grin

I cannot take a man seriously who uses that phrase.

AnyFucker Wed 18-Jun-14 00:07:20

This guy isn't for you

Tell him to take his "sexy fun" and stick it up his arse

pearlongreen Wed 18-Jun-14 00:40:24

That text is weird and manipulative. Nothing wrong with a NSA lover, but he's trying to keep you dangling a bit by implying a relationship "might" be available if you jump through enough hoops, but in the meantime he wants "can I come over and empty my load at my convenience?"

I wouldn't make a drama of it, just a standard "sorry, very busy myself/ thinking of getting back with an ex, take care" and leave it at that, always tempting to send something withering, but then you're sort of "in an argument" and who wants to waste time on that?

Of course, nothing wrong with second date sex - I hope it was good smile - but might be an idea to review your "picker" if you keep finding yourself in this situation?

Hogwash Wed 18-Jun-14 00:45:04

'sexy fun'? Surely you have to dump him for that alone.

Tell him the sex wasn't that great for you, but you appreciate his efforts.

Dirtybadger Wed 18-Jun-14 00:48:16


Did he just realise he's really busy? No. Convenient. "Sexy fun"

I am all for a large dose of commitment lacking sex but he seems confused. You can't "keep an open mind" about it, IMO. If you want sex, don't put a relationship on the table (on the far side, mind)- it just puts pressure on everything.

"4/10. Could try harder" will do in response.

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