I don't know where else to post this, its not about job loss itself but about how I'm coping with it (or not).
We were in the middle of moving house, escaping somewhere with neighbour problems, moving onto much better things. I've had a job crisis of my own which has been going on for months, on the brink repeatedly of loosing my 21 year much loved specialised job but have deflected redundancy repeatedly and am now on an extension till end of August, but is only work p/t and my salary only just covers our mortgage and maybe some of the food. If I so loose my job at the end of August I'll get a pro-rated part time redundancy payout (not much) and loose my company car.
We knew we'd cope, because DH earns so much more. Even moving house, we were so desperate to move that we worked out we could afford it. He's flitted about from job to job and dabbled and travelled and been rather daft over the years, plus both of us had huge losses when previous marriages ended (I left an abusive marriage and settled low to get it over with) and he voluntarily left and signed over the martial home (long story) so we were pretty much starting again at an older age than average for mortgages etc. We had two DC very late in life (who are now 5 and 2) and 4 years ago he got a brilliant job, car, great salary, enough to warrant my part time status and enough again to warrant covering us if I do have to further extension to my work in September.
Then completely unexpected he's been made redundant. Bolt out of the blue yesterday. He'll not get much pay as he's only been there 4 years. He'll loose his car of course, all his benefits, and we are fairly sure I'm going to be out of work as well.
I feel so utterly in panic. Because he's self confessed disorganised with finances I've always done it all, but I earn 25% of what he earns we are never going to be able to make the money stretch. He keeps saying I've got to be positive, but my panic is taking over.
I've not eaten, I feel sick, I'm all over the place. I know he's right and I've got to support him, but I just feel like the 'fight or flight' thing is taking over. My heart is racing. I had to do a work meeting today and during it felt I was going to crack at any point. I feel like I'm not coping with it but at the same time I understand its a disproportionate reaction, to a degree anyway. I just want it sorted, but know that won't happen. I actually did that thing last night where I woke up and thought 'I've just had a really shit dream that DH has lost his job' then realised it wasn't a dream.
Suppose I just need some emotional words of advice, I don't know how to learn how to cope (and I've been through some shit times, and have coped, but I've had enough of shit times)
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Advice needed on dealing with this panicky feeling (DH/job/money related)
alabasterangel · 17/06/2014 14:44
This reply has been deleted
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.