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Really hurt by colleagues comment about my weight

(37 Posts)
Inapickle123 Mon 16-Jun-14 22:43:31

Just that, really.

Had DS 5 months ago and lost a lot of weight very quickly due to severe PND (was back in my size 8/10s in two weeks because I couldn't eat.

DS, while wonderful, is a difficult baby; reflux, no sleep, possible CMPI (bottle refusal) and a screamer. Consequently, I've spent the last 5 months existing on catnaps and rubbish food to get me through. I know it's not the healthiest but I am shattered. By the time DH comes home from work, I can't rouse myself to go for a run and I'm so exhausted from no sleep the night before that I can't do much more than go for leisurely walks with DS. Mainly to try and get him to actually sleep.

Anyway, I went in to see work when DS was 10 weeks old and colleague-we'll call him twat-completely avoided me. Wouldn't acknowledge my existences, refused to speak to me blah blah blah.

We used to be super close and he admitted (when drunk) that he had feelings for me. Nothing ever came of this and I tried very hard to
Remain friendly with him.

Anyway, fast forward to today and I had to go back to work for a KIT day. I've put on a bit of weight-nothing major but I'm tiny so it's fairly noticeable (probably about a stone over my pre-pregnancy weight but I'm scared to actually weigh myself). Bearing in mind twat face hasn't spoken to me in almost a year, he positively revelled in this, with the first words out his mouth being "shit, you've got really fat". When other folks recoiled in shock, he backtracked with a stupid twat laugh and said he was only kidding.

I know I shouldn't care but the damage -and self esteem bashing-has already been done. I know I don't look like I used to but who does when they can't spend 4-6 hours a week in the gym, or actually have the mental capacity to cook a healthy meal rather than calling dominoes?

I'm being stupid. I know its a drop in the ocean compared to what some folk are going through on here. He's a twat and I have much more important things to worry about but it's bloody hurtful.

glasgowstevenagain Mon 16-Jun-14 22:46:54

I'll lose the weight but you will always be prat

glasgowstevenagain Mon 16-Jun-14 22:47:13

Or ask for hi to be disciplined

scarletforya Mon 16-Jun-14 22:47:59

Fuck him. He sounds jealous that you're not available. It sounds like sour grapes Op.

He's a dick!

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 16-Jun-14 22:49:20

Grievance love, grievance. No way should you let him get away with this or he will never stop. Invoke the procedure.

Cookiepants Mon 16-Jun-14 22:51:09

It's shit isn't it. When I was 34 weeks pregnant a colleague said in front of everyone "You're going to HAVE to breast feed to get all that off" while looking me up and down with a disgusted look on her face hmm.

She new two things about me;
1: I had a pituitary tumour which makes weight gain easy and weight loss hard.
2. The treatment for said tumor would make extended breast feeding impossible (I only managed 12 weeks).

Her excuse was "she tells it like it is". I have decided to take the high ground and ignore hergrin.
Try and do things for yourself and to feel better rather than worry about what so knob thinks about you.

Enjoy your baby thanks the rest will follow.

50shadesofknackered Mon 16-Jun-14 22:51:10

He us definitely a twat! Op, you must realise that he took such pleasure in saying that to you because he was trying to hurt you! Remember, this was a man who declared he had feelings for you and you didn't want him. Now you have a beautiful son and a dh and he's jealous! Sad little shit! I know it's hurtful but he's a pathetic little nothing so please try not to let it upset you too much. Plus you only had your ds 5 months ago! That's nothing. Please don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

DustBunnyFarmer Mon 16-Jun-14 22:52:31

What a dickhead!

When I returned from mat leave after DS1 a touch tubbier our director's PA stopped by my desk one day to ask me if I really thought I should be eating the slice of cake I had in front of me, silly cow.

Bobbybaby Mon 16-Jun-14 22:53:00

That's awful, what an absolute turd. So what, you've had a baby and you've put a bit of weight on, who doesn't? But I'm a person who struggles with weight and frankly obsesses over it so I know that even one comment like that would totally devastate me so I'm sorry he said that.

It does sound like he's still bitter you rejected him so what above said...fuck him! All your work colleagues will forget the comment but they will never forget that he's a twat!

Madrigals Tue 17-Jun-14 07:02:04

I still had my baby weight at your stage - and tbh i think a lot of women are a stone heavier. All completely normal and no one thinks much of baby weight as everyone knows it is one of those things and goes in time.

What an idiot - I agree with others who say he is jealous and wounded because you turned him down. He has made himself look a prize fool in front of his colleagues.

Just carry on enjoying your lovely son and nice DH and ignore this pathetic and rude man.

Hissy Tue 17-Jun-14 07:24:08

Well love, he's nailed his shitty colours to the mast hasn't he?

You colleagues recoiled in shock, so they found what he said unacceptable, and it was.

If I were you, the next time you go in, instead of a Keep In Touch day, treat it as a Kick Into Touch day.

Don't socialise with him, only converse with him if a professional necessity, and make it clear that he's made it clear he's a twat and you don't deal with twats.

This is his problem, not yours. Please don't let what one inadequate prick says (because he's jealous) about you spoil anything.

If it was me, i'd let him have that First Shot for Free. But one more comment, i'd put in an official complaint.

(((hug)))

I'm so sorry he made you feel bad. sad

antimatter Tue 17-Jun-14 07:32:54

Just rehearse this and say next time
"...and the point you are making is????"

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Tue 17-Jun-14 07:34:39

Get back to work and get back at him in other ways. There are ALWAYS other ways wink.

bberry Tue 17-Jun-14 07:42:22

"Yeah, ok Mr Universe"

areyoubeingserviced Tue 17-Jun-14 07:57:15

When you see him next time be ultra polite.
Don't engage, that will really piss him off.
Please don't waste a minute longer thinking about this tosser .
He is bitter and jealous .

areyoubeingserviced Tue 17-Jun-14 08:00:17

Agree , that if he continues with this behaviour, put in a grievance.

mammadiggingdeep Tue 17-Jun-14 08:22:43

"Yeah I gained a bit of weight. I had a baby. What's the reason you're ugly inside and out??"

Deathraystare Tue 17-Jun-14 08:27:03

Next time he makes any comment about you - good or bad, look at him with obvious disgust and say "Why on earth do you think I am interested in anything YOU say?" then shake your head and walk away.

bragmatic Tue 17-Jun-14 08:28:00

It's not about the weight. You could have been at your pre-pregnancy weight and he'd have found something negative to say.

Glasgow's response is perfect.

IWillYeah Tue 17-Jun-14 08:54:40

Unprofessional, idiotic and cruel.

Be an ice queen with him from now on in. And if he drops any more comments like this, complain to your manager!

ravenmum Tue 17-Jun-14 08:56:06

This has nothing to do with your post-baby shape and everything to do with him being sorry he didn't manage to attract you, and someone else did. After moping about feeling sorry for himself, he's now trying to find reasons why it's a good thing he didn't win you over. If this is the best reason he can come up with, you are clearly quite a catch!

m0therofdragons Tue 17-Jun-14 09:07:20

After I had dd, eventually I lost the weight, returned to work and 5 colleagues individually commented about how tiny my boobs were. Now, when bfing my boob were huge. After weight loss and stopping bfing they went back to original size. Comments were along lines of, "where have your boobs gone?!" Erm I was still a 32dd ffs so not tiny! People are stupid and rude. I would demand an apology.

kaykayblue Tue 17-Jun-14 09:38:54

You need to report his comment to Human Resources. You can give the names of others who were there when he made the comment.

He will be disciplined for it, which is completely right. Also, he will get the chance to see that "jokes" like that are unacceptable.

What a cunt.

FatherJake Tue 17-Jun-14 09:55:30

For god's sake just ignore it. Grievance procedure and reporting to HR for saying that someone has got fat when they've been pregnant? My god is that the world we live in now?

If he'd said it when no baby involved then different story. But given the context his bad joke should just be ignored, made light of or treated with disdain.

BalloonSlayer Tue 17-Jun-14 10:00:15

"Oh yeah, did you ever hear back from Diet Coke? About the advert . . .? "

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