Argh. What would you reply to this?!

[Sunflower49]

I hardly ever use fb, and I have just logged in to find a message from my ex (I'm in my thirties now, an early twenties ex), who treated me like absolute DIRT, was just a complete horrible knob-end, a sponger, a liar and a bit of a psycho. I'll go into more detail if needed, but the message says;

"I guess that as much as I was and most likely still am a despicable person, I always cared. And because of that, I'd just like to check that you're all good...That and, while we were together I never appreciated how much of a sensitive person you were, you felt more than I could at the time and with that I took advantage. That's something that I'll always hate myself for. I know you'll never be able to forgive me, and I don't blame you. However, as much as you will most likely disbelieve me, the pregnancy thing was 100% accidental.'

('Pregnancy thing' refers to him trying his best to get me pregnant throughout our relationship, I didn't want to be pregnant at the time and he knew that. He eventually succeeded, I miscarried).I do not believe him on that.

[Chrysanthemum5]

I wouldn't answer. Either he's still a knob and he's manipulating you, or he feels he has changed and wants you to forgive him. Either way, you don't need to do anything. I'd delete it.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Ignore and delete. No good can come from interacting further with this person.

[Lovingfreedom]

I'd ignore it and block him if I were you.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

I'd probably block him from my fb too

[Canus]

Don't reply at all.

Unless you want to be drawn into teenage-angst style game playing at your age.

Honestly, what would be the point?

[JennyOnTheBlocks]

Ignore and block from me too

Giving you permission to hate him? Still a nasty piece of work IMO

[50shadesofknackered]

Write back 'sorry, who is this'? He obviously thinks he was SO important to you and made such an impact on your life that even now, years later, you''ll still be hankering after an apology. Either that or he thinks you''ll still have feelings and he might get sex out of it. I'd either ignore or write what I said above.

[Sunflower49]

Done!Thanks for the majority vote!

I do hope he doesn't see my ignoring it as 'She must be still upset' and maybe that's what he wants?

[ScrambledSmegs]

I'd ignore, delete and block.

Then do something awesome to reward myself for my general awesomeness

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Still a self-pitying, lying wanker isn't he? 'I'll always hate myself'.... get in the queue, right? :) Delete, block, ignore, whatever. If you wrote anything back he'd treat it as a conversation and then you'd never get shot.

[ScrambledSmegs]

Who cares what he wants? He's a loser.

Seriously, just waft around in a cloud of awesomeness today

[dollius]

I'd write: "Who is this??"

What you should do is delete and block.

[Lovingfreedom]

Well done! Ignoring doesn't say 'she's still upset' btw it says 'she's not interested'

[Sunflower49]

50shades I would do that, would be great! BUT I can't-he knows I know who he is due to mutual friends and him friend requesting me on there years ago and I deleted it.

I'll just ignore.And yes I do think he's still a nasty piece of work.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

OP, he will have told himself on a daily basis that you are still holding a torch, still upset, the love of his life, the one that got away and so on. Delusional bellends like him don't live in the same reality as the rest of us

[Sunflower49]

Still a self-pitying, lying wanker isn't he? 'I'll always hate myself'.... get in the queue, right?


so I just walk around being awesome today, do I. Okay I think I can manage that :D


Thanks lovingfreedom

[50shadesofknackered]

You''ve done the right thing ignoring and blocking him then Sunflower what a shitbag he is!

[callamia]

He's trying to justify his actions, Nd thinks he is more important than he is. There's no need for a reply. Your silence will be more than enough.

[scarletforya]

I bet he was pissed when he wrote it. What time was it written?

[BitOutOfPractice]

Make sure you blvk him. That way when he checks up again he won't be able to find you and will know he's being ignored. And hopefully get the message

[Sunflower49]

Yes I agree he may have been pissed!It was written at midnight!

[Sunflower49]

And yes I have blocked him. I think he has a wife and kids now, which makes it much worse that he's still trying to speak to me about our relationship.

[RosegoldRuby]

Wow, sunflower49, you're looking awesome today!

[AnneElliott]

I have the same OP. He messages via FB and friends reunited and any other source he can find.

I blocked and ignored but finally replied and said one more message and I would send the lot to his wife. All quiet since then

[Needasilverlining]

I had one of these last year; pretended to be offering back a book of mine (after 15 years!) and then moving on to what a bastard he'd been to me blahblahblahabsolvemeandtellmeIwasn'tallbad.

The sterling advice from MN was that nothing would be more annoying to him than ignoring him :-)