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Argh. What would you reply to this?!

(40 Posts)
Sunflower49 Wed 04-Jun-14 08:58:37

I hardly ever use fb, and I have just logged in to find a message from my ex (I'm in my thirties now, an early twenties ex), who treated me like absolute DIRT, was just a complete horrible knob-end, a sponger, a liar and a bit of a psycho. I'll go into more detail if needed, but the message says;

"I guess that as much as I was and most likely still am a despicable person, I always cared. And because of that, I'd just like to check that you're all good...That and, while we were together I never appreciated how much of a sensitive person you were, you felt more than I could at the time and with that I took advantage. That's something that I'll always hate myself for. I know you'll never be able to forgive me, and I don't blame you. However, as much as you will most likely disbelieve me, the pregnancy thing was 100% accidental.'

('Pregnancy thing' refers to him trying his best to get me pregnant throughout our relationship, I didn't want to be pregnant at the time and he knew that. He eventually succeeded, I miscarried).I do not believe him on that.

Chrysanthemum5 Wed 04-Jun-14 09:01:04

I wouldn't answer. Either he's still a knob and he's manipulating you, or he feels he has changed and wants you to forgive him. Either way, you don't need to do anything. I'd delete it.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp Wed 04-Jun-14 09:01:08

Ignore and delete. No good can come from interacting further with this person.

Lovingfreedom Wed 04-Jun-14 09:01:25

I'd ignore it and block him if I were you.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp Wed 04-Jun-14 09:01:33

I'd probably block him from my fb too

Canus Wed 04-Jun-14 09:01:39

Don't reply at all.

Unless you want to be drawn into teenage-angst style game playing at your age.

Honestly, what would be the point?

JennyOnTheBlocks Wed 04-Jun-14 09:04:12

Ignore and block from me too

Giving you permission to hate him? Still a nasty piece of work IMO

50shadesofknackered Wed 04-Jun-14 09:04:36

Write back 'sorry, who is this'? He obviously thinks he was SO important to you and made such an impact on your life that even now, years later, you''ll still be hankering after an apology. Either that or he thinks you''ll still have feelings and he might get sex out of it. I'd either ignore or write what I said above.

Sunflower49 Wed 04-Jun-14 09:05:02

Done!Thanks for the majority vote!

I do hope he doesn't see my ignoring it as 'She must be still upset' and maybe that's what he wants?

ScrambledSmegs Wed 04-Jun-14 09:05:04

I'd ignore, delete and block.

Then do something awesome to reward myself for my general awesomeness wink

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 04-Jun-14 09:05:40

Still a self-pitying, lying wanker isn't he? 'I'll always hate myself'.... get in the queue, right? smile Delete, block, ignore, whatever. If you wrote anything back he'd treat it as a conversation and then you'd never get shot.

ScrambledSmegs Wed 04-Jun-14 09:06:07

Who cares what he wants? He's a loser.

Seriously, just waft around in a cloud of awesomeness today thanks

dollius Wed 04-Jun-14 09:07:04

I'd write: "Who is this??" <childish>

What you should do is delete and block.

Lovingfreedom Wed 04-Jun-14 09:07:49

Well done! Ignoring doesn't say 'she's still upset' btw it says 'she's not interested'

Sunflower49 Wed 04-Jun-14 09:08:18

50shades I would do that, would be great! BUT I can't-he knows I know who he is due to mutual friends and him friend requesting me on there years ago and I deleted it.

I'll just ignore.And yes I do think he's still a nasty piece of work.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 04-Jun-14 09:08:19

OP, he will have told himself on a daily basis that you are still holding a torch, still upset, the love of his life, the one that got away and so on. Delusional bellends like him don't live in the same reality as the rest of us

Sunflower49 Wed 04-Jun-14 09:10:11

Still a self-pitying, lying wanker isn't he? 'I'll always hate myself'.... get in the queue, right? grin

grin so I just walk around being awesome today, do I. Okay I think I can manage that :D

Thanks lovingfreedom

50shadesofknackered Wed 04-Jun-14 09:13:45

You''ve done the right thing ignoring and blocking him then Sunflower what a shitbag he is!

callamia Wed 04-Jun-14 09:16:58

He's trying to justify his actions, Nd thinks he is more important than he is. There's no need for a reply. Your silence will be more than enough.

scarletforya Wed 04-Jun-14 09:17:02

I bet he was pissed when he wrote it. What time was it written?

BitOutOfPractice Wed 04-Jun-14 09:19:30

Make sure you blvk him. That way when he checks up again he won't be able to find you and will know he's being ignored. And hopefully get the message

Sunflower49 Wed 04-Jun-14 09:19:35

Yes I agree he may have been pissed!It was written at midnight!

Sunflower49 Wed 04-Jun-14 09:20:31

And yes I have blocked him. I think he has a wife and kids now, which makes it much worse that he's still trying to speak to me about our relationship.

RosegoldRuby Wed 04-Jun-14 09:23:00

Wow, sunflower49, you're looking awesome today!

AnneElliott Wed 04-Jun-14 09:24:59

I have the same OP. He messages via FB and friends reunited and any other source he can find.

I blocked and ignored but finally replied and said one more message and I would send the lot to his wife. All quiet since then grin

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