Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Offered a all expense paid trip abroad.... But there is a catch

(174 Posts)
Ibizababe Tue 03-Jun-14 22:30:14

Met someone through work 9 months ago while they were were the main contractor to carry out refurb at my place of work. Got on great, lots of chemistry, flirting extra!

There contracted finished beginging of this year and he went abroad (Spain) to work on his next contract and he is still there!

We have kept in regular touch through phone text and email and yesterday he has offered me a long weekend (all paid for) to fly out on visit him in 2 weeks time!

Course I would usually jump at the chance, and why not never know what might come of it!

Catch is I found out around the time he was leaving that I was pregnsnt, now I'm 24 weeks, I'm not with father we split just before I found out I was pregnsnt!

I did tell him last night about the baby and he didn't seem to concerned and it looks like offer is still on!

I can't go can I?

CuttedUpPear Tue 03-Jun-14 22:31:45

Go!

rockybalboa Tue 03-Jun-14 22:36:52

Go!! He says baby-on-board is fine so go. As long as you're happy he's not a nutter and you can afford a back up plan if you're not comfortable.

something2say Tue 03-Jun-14 22:37:40

Do you think now is a good time to begin a relationship?

frames Tue 03-Jun-14 22:40:09

Go. See what happens

Ibizababe Tue 03-Jun-14 22:42:01

Not looking at it to start a new relationship, we get on well and like each other slot, I was looking at it more as a "let's spend sometime getting to know one another more" he is going to be working abroad until oct/no this year anyway, might not lead to anything in the future but then again once he is bavk who knows what might happen

Walkacrossthesand Tue 03-Jun-14 22:45:04

My SIL met my brother when she was preggers and had split up with the baby's dad. They're still together, with a few more DCs, nearly 30 years later! Just saying... smile

BankWadger Tue 03-Jun-14 22:47:11

Are pregnant single women not allowed relationships then something? How terribly lonely.

heyday Tue 03-Jun-14 22:48:13

Have you got any idea what he is expecting? Just friendship, starting of relationship, sex? You seem quite trusting of him so why not go. It might be a lovely little break just before the onset of single parenthood. Make sure you have plenty of travel insurance cover just incase you need any unexpected treatment whilst you are there and other than that have a wonderful time.

Ibizababe Tue 03-Jun-14 22:52:44

I think I will give it a few days to let the pregnancy news settle in and see if he is still keen on the idea then! If so I will go ahead and let him book the tickets!

Meeeep Tue 03-Jun-14 22:52:57

Go, it's one weekend. If it bombs it bombs. You may establish a good friendship over that weekend might be something more might amount to nothing but let's face it, it's a few days away that could potentially be your last "alone holiday" for a while.

I say go soak up some rays grin

Alwaysbuybigpants Wed 04-Jun-14 05:43:49

Go! Lucky you.

AndyYorkeSingsBetterThanThom Wed 04-Jun-14 06:34:48

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Only1scoop Wed 04-Jun-14 06:40:32

Accept if you'd like to go ....but be cautious as with anyone you don't really know.

Shakey1500 Wed 04-Jun-14 06:43:30

Andy Really? What an awful turn of phrase.

Op, obviously you should remain indoors for the rest of your pregnancy lest you catch someone's eye and, heaven forbid, have a life outside. wink wink

Go. Life is too short.

youbethemummylion Wed 04-Jun-14 06:44:00

You assumed there would be sex (if thats what 'taking in another cock' means) AndyYorke op never said thays what she was going for men and women can spend time together without having to have sex you know. Even if they did so what babies dad not in the picture romantically.

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara Wed 04-Jun-14 06:46:07

Andy seriously?

So when a woman is pregnant she should just stop doing anything else but be pregnant?

Why on earth?

OP, if it feels right then go for it!

Missda Wed 04-Jun-14 06:53:04

Go, enjoy and have fun.
Andy just get on your bike and bugger off!

LEMmingaround Wed 04-Jun-14 06:55:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AuntieStella Wed 04-Jun-14 06:56:25

Yes, I think you should let te news of your PG sink in and then see you both think it's a good idea.

He's not such a good friend if you didn't mention the PG until 24 weeks (I know some people prefer late announcements, but that's very late).

No reason why you can't go for a nice weekend with someone you're only on generally friendly terms with, of course. But he may, reasonably, conclude that what he thought was a good friendship he now sees as more superficial because you didn't share important things that are happening for you.

AnyFucker Wed 04-Jun-14 07:09:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OcadoSubstitutedMyHummus Wed 04-Jun-14 07:18:26

On a purely practical basis, travel insurance will be a big issue. You would need to ensure you had a policy that would cover you for any pregnancy issues at that stage in pregnancy as many won't.

WildBill Wed 04-Jun-14 07:29:20

I don't think it's going to be a 'getting to know you' trip. He will be expecting a shagfest weekend, he's paying to fly you out there, he doesn't want just friendship.
I'm not a prude but it's borderline icky. Let news of your pg sink in first, let him visit you if he's that keen.

MeMyselfAnd1 Wed 04-Jun-14 07:34:30

You didn't mention you were pregnant in all this time? Why?

I agree that you need to let the news sink before contacting him, but if I were you I would wait for him to contact you instead. I suppose that if I found myself in his position, I would be wondering why I would pay for someone to visit if that someone couldn't mention something so relevant in the development of a relationship.

Trapper Wed 04-Jun-14 07:49:41

Definitely go. Have a great weekend.

Ensure you have access to funds so you can be independent if you need to be (eg to get yourself a hotel for the night if you want to).

Don't forget to report back!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now