I have a 'crush' and I'm not sure how to proceed....

[Shoegal0305]

Ok so I've been single for, like, forever. Happily too it has to be said. Had a few disastrous flings which strengthened my desire to be single.

A few weeks ago, a guy was in my workplace, fixing something electrical. He just seemed lovely, very smiley, chatty and, well, just nice. I offered to make him a cup of tea and started chatting...... Turns out we have a few mutual friends thru another one of his jobs (he does two jobs!). I mentioned him to one mutual friend (male) who reiterated what a nice guy he was but I didn't want to ask anymore as unsure whether he is single? He doesn't have a wedding ring on but I know that doesn't mean anything?

Last week I was driving thru town and I saw him again, on his own. Fast forward to today and I saw him in the supermarket, again alone, as was I. He was friendly and lovely and was like 'oh hiya blah blah blah'. I was pleasantly surprised he even remembered me! I chatted for a while and that was that.

So my dilemma is do I ask my mutual friend about him and if do what do I say without sounding 'desperate'???? If he turns round and says oh he's married or oh he has a partner etc I will look stupid???

Ps can you tell I've been out of play for ages?!!!

[HeartHotWaterBottle]

That's sweet. When you speak to your mutual friend could you say that you bumped into him and 'he's such a nice man, why isn't he married?'

Do you have his contact details already through work?

[DickCrack]

Think I'd say to mutual friend, I keep bumping into X - is he local? Then just casual chat, how do you know him? Through his wife? Etc...

[labetenoir]

I see no reason to ask about him, surely you could do it subtly so as not to give the game away?

[Shoegal0305]

I know he's local as when I chatted to him at work he told me he lived in the same town. And obviously he's in the local Asda. He came into our work for something electrical but his other job is where we have the mutual friend. Thing is my friend knows me very well and can read me like a book plus I'm hopeless at not showing how I'm really feeling!!!

[Shoegal0305]

HeartHotWatetBottle no I don't have his details thru work.....

My friend mentioned my crushes dad who used to do the same job as me, like a million years ago, long before I started but I recognise the name so I've looked on Facebook for him assuming he has the same surname as his dad that is...... But nada!!! X

[123rd]

It can't hurt to ask ! Do it !

[Shoegal0305]

I'll keep you all posted........

Feeling quite excited...... And nervous....... Will text my friend as see him very sporadically do I can't unfortunately just 'drop it into conversation'......

Will just try and be direct and say 'hey you know X who I mentioned? Is he single as I keep bumping into him and he's lovely'?????

Thoughts?? (Ps I'm a 42 year old single mum of 1 with a profession........ Not a 13 year old pre pubescent girl ha ha)!!

[HeartHotWaterBottle]

Awww, we all turn into teenagers when we get crushes.
I think you should make enquiries, life is too short!

And if he has a partner then you'll soon forget about him.

[AdeptusMechanicus]

When talking with your friend you could use the guise of wanting to consider having your crush as a good friend but would like to know more about his character before you decide on the friendship. This way it should give you the information you need without making it too obvious.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Why will you look stupid? Ask!!

[JakeBullet]

Go for it...you have nothing to lose.

FWIW I am in exactly the same position as you. Haven't dated in a long time/can't be bothered with it all etc.

Six months ago I met a lovely man via an evening course. He was easy to chat to and turned out to be single too. Unfortunately he is also alcohol dependant! Six months on and we are now good friends but that's all. My crush went rapidly but I have made a lovely friend.

[500smiles]

Yes ask. And please report back!

[WildBill]

It's nice to be excited about someone like this, ask your friend about him in a roundabout way. It's probably better to find out if he's available sooner rather than later. Sounds good though!

[yorkierocks123]

just ask so what if it's obvious?

If he is with someone then you know and just drop it - whats embarrassing about that?

And make sure you tell us!

[Thislife]

Yes no need to be subtle. Just ask your friend, 'hey he's not single is he because, as you know, I'm looking!' Then if he is happily married and you feel a bit stupid, make a joke out of it,'Ah shame! He hasn't got a brother has he?' And move on.

[Shoegal0305]

These are all fab suggestions...... Texting my friend now..... Watch this space (yikes!!) xx

[Atbeckandcall]

You sound a bit smitten already

Definitely no harm in asking, you never know, he might be asking the same thing?!?!

[Shoegal0305]

I've arranged to meet my friend for coffee to pick his brains!!! Yikes.... Lol how pathetic do I sound?

[arsenaltilidie]

'he's such a nice man, why isn't he married?'

'He's such a nice man, is he single?'

'He's cute'

[Shoegal0305]

I'm taking the direct approach.... I keep bumping into X, he seems lovely is he single?

[Atbeckandcall]

[Shoegal0305]

Met my friend...... He doesn't know if my crush is single or not?? And he's now off work for 2 weeks FFS!!! Have set him on a mission to do some digging........

[Atbeckandcall]

Grr! I think you need to hover in Asda and just ask the man in question himself! What's the worst that can happen?!

[Shoegal0305]

Haha I can't just hang around Asda!!!! I went this morning and had a good scout about but I'm guessing he's at work during the day?! I will be patient and see what my friend unearths..... Argh it's already getting the better of me!! Xx

[123rd]

Can you not "invent" the same problem or issue that needed him to come to your work place in the first place!?