Posting in relationships as not really sure what the right area is, but it's definitely a bit to do with relationships!
Will try not to drip feed but I'm typing in my phone so trying to keep it shortish!
My parents moved in with us at Christmas. My mum is disabled and my dad has intermittent depression so sometimes struggles to care for my mum alone but 99% of time he is fine. They are both retired. I am on maternity leave, DH is on full pay but recovering from an injury sustained at work and likely to be at home on full pay for another 6-9 months. We have 2 DS aged 6 yr and 6 mo.
Plan was initially for them to have baby DS 4 days per week when I go back to work, nursery 1 day, and do school run for 6yo DS. They volunteered this. They currently have my nephew 1 day a week - he is 16 months, and again they volunteered.
My mum has had several recent hospital admissions which have left my brother scrabbling round for last minute Childcare on "their" day - luckily his nursery is great at fitting my nephew in the extra day. Additionally, my mum has recently (with the support of my dad!!) begun snatching my baby DS from mine or DH arms and is in denial that this is in anyway rude when confronted.
DH and I have had several instances where they've attempted to undermine us with ds1, eg he was being told off and they attempted to interfere. Ds1 is a very good boy but they let him do anything he wants - instances of him eating butter from the tub with a spoon as a toddler for example! He sometimes plays up when they are eating dinner with us for example, if he doesn't want veg he whines and doesn't eat because he hopes my dad will take the thing he doesn't want so he doesn't need to eat it.
Whilst they have been watching my nephew, there have been issues eg not putting him in his cot to sleep, feeding pudding before meal resulting in meal not being eaten, not using a car seat for a (short, admittedly, like 2 minutes) journey, refusing to use plastic spoon despite repeatedly being asked to as apparently nephew prefers metal one and is a big boy so needs to use big boy cutlery (16 months...) according to my DM!
Anyway, DH and I are pretty sure when he goes back to work that we would rather baby DS went to nursery/ childminder where we can tell them what we want done as we are paying for it, rather than worrying about them doing random weird and dangerous stuff, and even just other things that are against our wishes. Brother and sister in law thinking similarly re the day nephew spends.
How am I going to handle this? Am I being reasonable? My mum has strops about nothing as some of her medications have affected her personality, eg she went in a mood because we don't need two potato mashers..... She us an ex health visitor so thinks she knows best despite my brother and I pointing out these are our children.
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Relationships
Parents..... And Childcare
6 replies
ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 10/05/2014 15:59
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