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He's about to start resenting me

(52 Posts)
mummaduke Thu 01-May-14 19:02:43

I posted here only the other day, and I'm sorry to post again so soon for more advice and sensible insights into DH's behaviour.

In a nutshell: Together 2.5 years, married a year, 5 month old baby. DH is 15 years my senior (he's 45).

Having had many many conversations/heated discussions since DS arrived regarding DH going out too often, being a terrible drunk etc, two incidents this week have made me wonder what on earth I can do or say to him that will help him realise his responsibilities...

First; we went out with friends two nights ago. DH tells me to let my hair down; he will get up with DS in the night. So I had a wine too many, and got a bit drunk. Problem was, so did DH, and then he passed out cold on the sofa. Guess who had to get up with DS? Yep, me. DH was so drunk I couldn't even rouse him to come to bed. I was so upset he put us in that situation, but I really don't think he saw it as a big deal.

Second; After squabbling about the above for most of yesterday, DH has just rang from work to see if I mind him going to the pub tonight. As I've said in a previous post, I don't mind him going out. However, he has a lads night tomorrow, and a stag do on Saturday, so I'm quite frankly amazed that he'd even consider the pub tonight.

I'm so annoyed. Every time we discuss the issue of him going out/drinking too much he gets sulky, and says 'he can't do anything right', 'you're always angry'. Why can't he see I'm only angry because of his complete inability to grow up a bit!!

What do you suggest ladies? DH is about to start resenting me big time (in his words, I was 'too hard' on him after his drunken episode the other night) if he doesn't already. Why do men somehow always make us feel like the ball and chain? hmm

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Mon 05-May-14 05:39:54

He sounds like petulant child from your description. Saying you are 'too hard' on him is a child's response. The sulking is a child's response. The resentment is a child's response. Take care OP that you don't slip into 'drink monitor' or 'mother (to him)mode' as it is the natural response from you in your position as the only sensible parent to your DC but tough on you emotionally.

On the getting drunk on less... could be he's pooched his liver and that means he gets drunk on less than he used to. Was he always pissed on a small amount or has that changed? Maybe suggest a liver function test if you are worried (and it might give him a shock).

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