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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How would you check out if your date was already attached?

57 replies

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 18:55

That's it really. How did/would you check it out? I'm not asking about what to do if they are, that's obvious. But in these days of OD disastrous times, I'm very, very cautious but I have a number of dates lined up (no stealth boast) and one of them is coming a fair way and staying over in a B&B so we can eat and have a drink. He sounds fun, very proactive etc. But I feel the need to check it out and I guess that must mean something.

So how would you/what would you advise I do? I'd rather find out beforehand so if necessary I can sack him off cancel the date. By the way his profile says never married and no children.

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Tinks42 · 01/05/2014 18:58

What makes you feel the need to check him out? I'd be rather pissed off if someone started snooping about me before a first date. I'd think he was a bit unhinged.

OldLadyKnowsSomething · 01/05/2014 19:01

Have you googled him/his phone number? He might have an open FB page, LinkedIn, Twitter?

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 19:01

No I don't want to snoop I want to be as sure as I can be that I'm not going on a date with a man who's attached. I did it by accident last year and had a traumatised woman phoning me after she found my (and 7 other womens) numbers on her husbands phone.

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akaWisey · 01/05/2014 19:04

No I haven't tried that OldLady. But Tinks is making me think again.

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CharlieSierra · 01/05/2014 19:06

Did he post a photo? Have you spoken on the phone much and does there seem to be any issue with timing that from his side? If he hadn't raised my suspicions in any way I wouldn't worry, if he had I wouldn't meet him.

Tinks42 · 01/05/2014 19:06

Are you looking into all the other dates you have lined up too? You might not even like him yet.

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 19:09

No I'm not looking into the other dates. Yes he has a photo. We've spoken or texted early evening only. Because of his shift pattern in the job he's in (he says) we're meeting mid-week as opposed to waiting until the end of the month when he has a weekend off.

I'm not unhinged. I've had my fingers burned.

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Tinks42 · 01/05/2014 19:20

Oh right, so you have suspicions, no later evening calls. Does he only log on early-ish?

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 19:22

Not sure when he logs on Tinks, but I've just logged on and he viewed my profile half an hour ago. He views it every day I think. He's not online now though. I sent him a message. We'll see if he responds this evening.

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akaWisey · 01/05/2014 19:24

To be fair he asked me to send a picture of me to his phone and I thought that was to check out that I am the woman in my profile pics (although he said it was to add to my name in his contacts).

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Tinks42 · 01/05/2014 19:29

You can never be 100 percent sure at first aka (I online date). If he sort of has a pattern that makes you think this you may be on to something.

There is a way to drop his picture into google and see what it comes up with I don't know how to do this though - Im sure someone else here will be able to tell you.

I'd just not want the hassle of having to do all that and wouldn't see him anyway.

Pinkballoon · 01/05/2014 19:35

Phone him in the evening - 8.30ish.

OldLadyKnowsSomething · 01/05/2014 19:47

www.tineye.com/ is for looking for a copy of the photo. It's not facial recognition software though, just the photo you upload.

Cabrinha · 01/05/2014 19:51

Have you spoken on the phone or just texted? I'd make a point of suggesting a call, and choose some very "family" times - say on a Sunday afternoon and big vague about exactly when. See how he reacts?

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 19:55

I sent a message on the dating site. He hasn't responded so he's not online I don't think.I reckon he gets notifications on his phone though. We've spoken on the phone but not for a couple of days, mainly texts early evening before he says he's off out.

I'll text him in a minute, ask if he wants to chat later.

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akaWisey · 01/05/2014 20:04

I've texted him asking him if he fancies a chat.

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akaWisey · 01/05/2014 20:04

Oh I got a yeah ok.

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chaseface · 01/05/2014 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeforeAndAfter · 01/05/2014 20:06

If you have his address you can find out who else lives there using 192 by putting in his name and postcode. It's free and it shows who was residing there based on the last electoral roll. If you want more detail you'll need to pay, which is moving into stalker territory!

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 20:07

Oh there was I thinking I'm quite a catch chase

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Friedbrain · 01/05/2014 20:08

snop. Google telephone number

He won't know

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 20:08

Oh B&A I'm not up for that. He's just said he's up for a chat on the phone so I think I might have been over thinking it.

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yoyo27 · 01/05/2014 20:09

Put his mobile number into facebook search. I did that once.....he wasn't on facebook but was a very active member on swinging and dogging websites!!

chaseface · 01/05/2014 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

akaWisey · 01/05/2014 20:20

Oh he's normal. So normal, we've just had a chat about the date, he's said ring or text anytime……..There was no hesitation, no sense of him sneaking around. So that's me then, officially unhinged .

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