I would be grateful for some honest opinions here, as is think I may be too close to see if I'm being unreasonable or note have been married for 8 years, 3 DC under the age of 5. Generally good marriage I would say. DH is lovely most of the time. Helpful around the house, takes his family commitments seriously and looks after us well (takes care of all bills etc) buys me thoughtful gifts for birthdays and anniversaries etc, loves the DC. However the issue I have is his reactions to things. He gets frustrated, angry, annoyed very easily. Eg, drops something on the floor and swears loudly in frustration. When we argue he can't express himself as well as me and so ends up swearing, shouting, resorting to childish tactics like point scoring. DS had a nightmare the other night and as DH couldn't settle him down he ended up walking out of the room swearing and kind of making a growling sound under his breath. I'm always the calm one, who says don't argue in front of kids. Always the one to calm the kids down, DH just gets frustrated with DC when they do something wrong, will raise voice and point in an aggressive way at them when telling them off.
It's very hard to describe it properly, but in a nutshell, he is just someone who massively over reacts to things, or rather reacts badly, in a frustrated and sometimes aggressive manner. My concerns are that he is teaching the DC to behave in this way, and also that, whilst I love him a lot, I'm not sure how I will feel about being on the brunt of this in another 10 years, it's getting to me al lot, not sure if I can stand it for the rest of my life. He always talks about it afterwards and says that his behaviour was unacceptable and unfair, but he doesn't seem to be able to change.
Given that he is a great husband and father otherwise, am I making too much of this do you think? It is wearing me down and often when we argue, we go to bed not speaking, affects our relationship for a few days afterwards. I can't see the wood for the trees now and not sure if I am making a big deal out of it, after all, no one is perfect. Thanks
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Relationships
Advice please on marriage issues
Flofloflo · 01/05/2014 10:57
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