You know you've been on MN Relationships too long when.... (Spoiler alert for 'Frozen')

[CogitoEggySometimes]

.... you're watching 'Frozen' for the first time, the prince declares true love, proposes inside 24 hours and you say to no-one in particular 'well that's a red flag if ever I saw one.... he's rushing her'. Even more worrying when you're proved right - although shocked teenage DS now thinks I have special powers of prescience. :)

[Walkacrossthesand]

Oh cog - didn't you acknowledge your source?

[Toastandstrawberryjam]

That was exactly what I said too to my DDs. They were v impressed! The whole film was full of red flag moments I thought...

[CogitoEggySometimes]

I did not reveal the source of my superpowers, no. I am a dreadful human being...

[MadBusLady]

You think about starting a thread about your problem but you know what everyone will say so you don't bother. Done that twice.

[Finola1step]

Yep, was very suspicious of the prince right from the off. Way too good to be true.

You also know when you have been reading Relationships threads for far too long when a good friend tells you that her dh is thinking about a job in a far off country. He's been more attentive at home... And you just know that contract is as good as signed.

[eightandthreequarters]

Yup, also thought that during Frozen. Christ, I'm infected.

[Spiritedwolf]

I clearly need to spend more time on Relationships, although I was suspicious of the prince and said aloud "Well, if you can't marry someone you just met, you also shouldn't leave your kingdom in the hands of one you just met either." I was taken in by his Acts of Kindness in providing food and blankets to the people and thought "Oh, so he's okay then". Clearly I forgot that some abusive gits like to play the hero/saviour/etc to outsiders.


Thanks for starting this thread. I've also been meaning to start a "You know you've been on MN Relationships too long when..." thread.

So, you know you've been on MN Relationships too long when you read "Mr. Pusskins" to your 1 year old son, and feel that Emily is making a mistake taking the B cat back.

He wants "more than this dull life" so leaves and says that "Life without Emily is such naughty fun" then when he's cold and hungry he calls to go home and she picks him up. At the end it says "they realise how lucky they are to have each other". Well Emily already knew how lucky she was to have him before, why was she waiting around for the grumpy unappreciative cat to come home, why wasn't she out there finding a new cat that appreciated how much she loved him.

That said, he does seem genuinely remorseful, and appreciative of Emily when he's back home. So I wonder if MN Relationships has dented my belief in forgiveness. I realise that forgiving someone who is genuinely contrite is a Good Thing(tm) but why is it always the girl/woman expected to play this role, while the tom cats get to go off and have their fun?

Anyway, DS and I both like the book, but I've always wondered what MNetters think of Emily waiting at home for news of the grumpy cat who didn't appreciate her when she could have been out there having 'naughty fun' of her own.

(may be over analysing an otherwise great picture book)

[Walkacrossthesand]

I too muttered about the prince in a much more informed way than I would have done pre-MN. Is 'Frozen' a cautionary tale about recognising a sociopath?!

[DocMcStuffinsBigBookOfOuches]

I have a big problem reading "The Princess and the Pea" to my 5 year old.

He can't marry one princess because she's too tall, another too short, another too fat, another too thin blah blah etc etc. at ts point the story goes off on something of a tangent as I cunningly insert a moral lesson about shallow people who think physical attributes are a good basis for marriage...

And the princess who can feel a pea through twenty feather beds and twenty mattresses? Yeah, we have another diversion here about how it is far more important to find out what kinds of things she is good at, enjoys doing, and what her personality is like, rather than does she get a bruise on her bum after sleeping on a pea.

My older teens think it's hilarious, particularly as I was nowhere near as vocal about this in their childhoods!

[mammadiggingdeep]

Ha!! Me too cog. Thought he was a wrong un straight away...red flags a plenty. Was quite chuffed when my suspicions came true. Good old MN!

[DustBunnyFarmer]

DocMcStuffins - you do know the pea & mattresses thing is a metaphor for whether the princess is a virgin or not (and therefore suitable marriage material)? Feeling the pea = virgin. Knock yourself out with that that double standard about sexual experience.

Also Jack & Jill: "Jack fell down and broke his crown [= popped his cherry] and Jill went tumbling after" [= DTD with Jill and she lost hers].

Folk tales and nursery rhymes are pure filth, I tell you.

[PlantsAndFlowers]

I watched Frozen last night and thought the exact same thing!

[DocMcStuffinsBigBookOfOuches]

DustBunnyFarmer - I had a vague idea it was something like that, but I don't think my five year old is quite ready for that level of reality in her fairy tales

[KouignAmann]

I watched the original film of Jane Eyre and shouted at her to avoid Mr Rochester as he is festooned in red flags! The whole film is about an abused child being groomed for an abusive adult relationship.
I thought the same about du Maurier's Rebecca as well. Funny how many classic books are about abuse.

[AllDirections]

Well he well and truly had me. I was soooo shocked when he showed what he was really like and actually I'm still really upset about it.

I'm also not very happy with myself at all, I've been on mumsnet for ages and I didn't recognise the signs

[MadBusLady]

Yy to Rebecca, definitely a girl with low self-esteem being dominated by a higher status man! I think his actual proposal line is something like "I'm asking you to marry me, you little fool".

[redundantandbitter]

Omg - yes! Frozen was my eldest DDs Easter present from me. Watched it yesterday. I immediately said "what? , she's only just met him"

My dd laughed (she's seen the film at cinema with exp).. "Just wait and see mum". And I was right, and disappointed.

Then we watched Turbo. Not so many red flags.

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

Yes, Cognito, same reaction for Frozen.

Also in reading the children's book "The Giving Tree"...such a display of a codependent (tree) and all about me and my wants/needs dynamic. By the end of it I was (silently) telling the bloke to f-off already.

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

Ha, not Cognito, Cogito.

[Bogeyface]

I cant think of a single Disney film that isnt positively scarlet from all the red flags!

Even the so called "Feminist" heroines are still rescued at some point.

And dont get me started on Snow Fucking White or Cinder Bastard Ella!

[Bogeyface]

I tell a lie, Lion King. Simba's girlfriend can take care of herself.

[Poughle]

I've just watched frozen too. Three times in the past 2 days.

I knew he was a baddie as soon as I saw those sideburns.

[NutellaLawson]

pea and virginity? a tenuous link, I'd say.

I think it is more to do with letting us peasants know that the upper crust are fundamentally, biologically different from us. It stops us getting ideas about social mobility or having a 'their shit stinks, too' mentality.

[Bogeyface]

Nutella sadly it is true.

All of the old tales are about sex when it comes down to it. All the heroines are stuck in a hellish existence (single, periods blah) until they are "rescued" , married, have sex and get pregnant.

[CogitoEggySometimes]

The metaphors in Sleeping Beauty are about as subtle as a house-brick. Blood, prickly forests, 'true love's kiss'. BTW... I always thought the Princess and the Pea was about spotting an easily-bruising haemophiliac. Big feature of European royal families...