Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is this true, do you think? Men convinced all women are in love with them

(18 Posts)
Twinklestein Sat 05-Apr-14 15:42:13

Btw I wasn't talking about all men - just an unfortunate subset.

Twinklestein Sat 05-Apr-14 15:40:33

The same ego tells men a woman is in love with them, that tells them they are better looking, more intelligent, more fascinating than they are...

When I was a teenager I noticed that if I were nice to a man, any man, however old, you smiled or were chatty, that it looked as if they thought I fancied them. I thought I was young and I must be misreading things, because I hadn't done anything beyond being nice - no flirting, hair twirling, batting eyelashes. I thought when I'm older I'll probably understand this. Now I'm older I can see I was right, men do unfortunately delude themselves that women fancy them without any reason whatsoever, even if they are a fraction of their age.

Ego + penis is a very bad combination. I wouldn't want to live with that level of self-delusion.

Lovingfreedom Sat 05-Apr-14 14:31:37

Not really...I've had more experience of blokes referring to themselves as my 'boyfriend' after a couple of dates... Wtf???

Nomama Sat 05-Apr-14 14:12:56

I wasn't sure many would remember him....

MadeMan Sat 05-Apr-14 13:45:18

"A friend married a Kurt St Moritz type who had no shame..."

Well that's the kind of guy he is.

Nomama Sat 05-Apr-14 13:40:17

My DH doesn't but I did once almost date a man who did and I know a lot of men who seriously seem to. It is a self defence thing, or an excuse, depending on the individual man.

A friend married a Kurt St Moritz type who had no shame, even taking his OW and their baby home to meet his mum, often. My friend acted in a way that told him his behaviour was fine - for a few years, then she dumped him. But he had always been like that, in his late 50s now he still is!

My own close shave was a single date, nothing other than a drink, a meal and a thank you. I was too young to think straight so I tried to let him down gently. In front of a lot of friends he explained that it was OK to fall in love with him very quickly, it had happened before. I shouldn't deny myself. I fell about laughing, as did the other women in the group. Some of the men were offended that we didn't see his point!

So yes, some men do indeed think that every woman is in love with them. The trick is to recognise them and run.

MadeMan Sat 05-Apr-14 13:28:08

I think the article is bollocks.

BreakingDad77 Sat 05-Apr-14 07:24:15

So the article interviewed a load of players and guess what.

My peers and myself never had thesthemselves beliefs, though I wasn't a very confident person, was in early to mid twenties for first relationship I found dating a nightmare, my mode of choice was online, got dates which was fine but the dates themselves, there seemed to be no pattern to tell if they liked you or were just being pleasant between the ones that that eventually dated for a bit.

'Take me out' often has guys saying date is going good but when interviewing the woman it definitely isn't. Women don't realize how we struggle with ' friendly' ' flirty 'actually interested ' messages a woman is giving us.

Quinteszilla Sat 05-Apr-14 07:13:06

What a rubbish article with an unsurprising outcome: women should change how they communicate, so now women are to blame for men being crap, conceited, and deluded. hmm

HowContraryMary Sat 05-Apr-14 07:02:00

I was growing up how they would talk about the girls they went out with and the stupid stunts they would pull to extricate themselves from these girls who apparently were desperate to get their 'claws into them'

Well, no matter how you think society has moved on, the fact remains that in the majority of cultures world wide, women do need men to protect them, 'patriarchy' at it's best. You rarely hear of men marrying up but frequently hear of women doing it (pretty, young woman, wealthy older man) and of course, when picking a mate, a woman will go for the best option. Preferably established financially. Mind you this all files into the wind when you look at the JK show, there are a lot of not very choosy people out there and I would have to read some serious socio-economic studies to see what the common attraction is between those sorts of people.

akaWisey Sat 05-Apr-14 05:13:03

The article does resonate with me too, I think it's quite common. I've struggled to decide what to put in the "what's your intention" box on dating sites. I tick the 'seeking a relationship' box but in my statement I clarify that by saying I don't want to marry or live with someone - because I don't.

Having said that I was messaging with a guy who decided he didn't want to take things further because I "obviously don't want a relationship"!

aurynne Sat 05-Apr-14 02:24:04

I have read that article. I find it confusing, all that wondering "why do men assume that all women they date are after a relationship or sex"... Well, aren't those two the precise points of dating? What other reasons would people on an online dating site have otherwise? And why is "wanting a relationship" considered to be a bad thing?

Rents Sat 05-Apr-14 02:03:22

Oops, too soon.

....I only call you at 2am on a Saturday!

Rents Sat 05-Apr-14 02:02:27

Ha! I used to talk about this with my friends when we where young!

The absolute ridiculousness of your 3am fuck buddy turning round and saying 'your really nice, but I'm not ready for a relationship'.

Well neither am I darling, that's why I

NotNewButNameChanged Sat 05-Apr-14 01:52:06

I don't think like that. And nor do any of my male friends.

Yes, there will be some guys like that but it reads just like the usual gender stereotypical shit the papers write to get people stirred up.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 05-Apr-14 00:40:14

All men are convinced that they are in love with me.sad It's awkward when I tell them that they aren't but after a while they back off and stop making it so obvious. Usually after I have refused their proposals of marriage.grin

Seriously though OP, I have met very few men who think that all women are in love with them, or even just fancy them. The one's who do think in this way tend to be deluded in more ways than one.

pigsDOfly Sat 05-Apr-14 00:30:35

Absolutely agree. I suspect that it's the reason so many men suddenly seem to disappear of the radar after a few dates. I think it also explains why so many really unattractive undesirable men seem to be under the impression that they can have any woman they want.

And as the sister to four older brothers - I am now in my mid sixties and they are all quite a lot older than me - I can attest to the fact that this is not a new phenomenon. I can well remember when I was growing up how they would talk about the girls they went out with and the stupid stunts they would pull to extricate themselves from these girls who apparently were desperate to get their 'claws into them'.

Disappointingly, I think some men will always be arses. Whilst there are no doubt some lovely men out there I think there is still a large percentage of men who continue to think like this and fear there always will be.

Ijustwanttocryallthetime Fri 04-Apr-14 22:52:05

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now