Hi there everyone, I'm very sorry about the long post but have ran out of options. I've never posted before and I'm a tad nervous about this but here goes...
My 'D'm kicked me out at the age of 17 (just gone!) because she was demanding money from me despite my being in full time education and my contributions myself and my DF already made...they split when I was very young, and she resented him ever since! Since then I went to live with my Grandma and Grandfather who happen to be Dm's parents. They have been AMAZING about the whole thing and really helped me out when i had no other options, my Df living far away and me having school commitments.
I have made attempt after attempt to get in contact with my dm and try to get things back on track, eg trying to arrange meetings, calling her, and when things were too strained emails. Yet time and time again she has let me down and either not responded or given very little in the way of response. She is a completely bitter lady and its killing me, I am only 19 and ready to go to University and really want my mum involved yet she seems to be too pigheaded to back down after SOO long of been horrible. Let me tell you a few things she has done, upsetting me in public places when I have arranged meetings to talk, purposely giving me horrific presents that she knows i would hate (when in the past she has always been thoughtful) for my 19th birthday i received a knitted hat that could fit 6 peoples heads in it, no thought in it very much on purpose. I have written her letters in the past explaining that I'm hurt and I'm sorry about our arguing yet got no response, when i rang her about it 2 weeks later she said "it wasn't worth acknowledging". This was 5 pages of pure heart felt reaching out for my mum that took nearly a full week to write and she shot it down without acknowledgement.
She has also broken her relationship off with her DP's and they are devastated, they didn't want that to happen and only took me in for a few days until me and my DM "cooled off". This was 2 years ago. She claimed child benefit whilst i lived with them and never offered to help them out for taking care of me. Yet when my gran managed to sort out some funding she was straight on the phone screaming at my gran telling her how selfish she is for wanting the child benefit?! Now i pay my own way whilst at college on a VERY part time wage because i feel guilty, like i forced myself onto my Gparents. I came home the other day and she was at my Gparents house, shouting in my grandmas face about inheritance (she has recently had major surgery and had only been out of hospital for 3 days). When i walked in she looked at me like a piece of s* and said "oh and you're starting to put weight on darling, you look really fat" then turned on her heel and left the house slamming the door in the process.
Now I'm incredibly upset and annoyed at her, Im a size 10 but have huge boobs which make me look disproportionate and quite large, she knows I've always been self conscious of this so clearly said it to be nasty. I just don't know how to handle this anymore. I'm sick of being the "adult" in the situation and keep becoming astonished at how she can treat her only daughter this way. It's getting to the point where i know we wont be able to go back so I'm considering just going complete NC and saving myself a lot of let down and heartache. The family i have at the moment, although limited is incredibly supportive and loving. Every time my mother finally speaks to me I get emotional and sad so Im thinking whats the point. I guess I'm just wanting MN advice on how i can either fix it (even though ive tried everything i think is humanely possible) or if she is just a one off that cant be talked around??
Sorry about the huge post. I'm a rambling lost mess.
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Mum kicked me out and abandoned me since......do I NC or keep trying?
9 replies
hettiebaby · 04/04/2014 22:07
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