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To think DH shouldn't have sent this text to his female friend

(86 Posts)
stupidideastupididea Fri 04-Apr-14 20:29:27

'that's ok, welcome to borrow anything if you collect wearing that top again (wink smiley)'

He actually showed me the text thread as she'd borrowed something of ours and sent him a picture of her ds using it saying thanks. Apparently she was wearing a low cut top

Think he'd forgotten his reply when he showed me - I said I thought it was out of order and that she must think he's an old perv but he insists that she's known him years and won't take it seriously.

I don't think there is anything happening with her but AIBU to think it's disrespectful to her and me or do you think it's a harmless joke?

SourSweets Fri 04-Apr-14 20:31:14

YANBU. I'd be very very pissed off.

FreeLikeABird Fri 04-Apr-14 20:32:05

YANBU totally disrespectful to both.

randomAXEofkindness Fri 04-Apr-14 20:33:24

YANBU, it was disrespectful of both you and her.

WooWooOwl Fri 04-Apr-14 20:33:36

It depends on the sort of relationship they have. I wouldn't automatically assume it's disrespectful to anyone, but it could well be. It just doesn't have to be.

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Fri 04-Apr-14 20:33:56

YANBU I would be pissed off and she WILL think of him as a perv. Eugh.

Topaz25 Fri 04-Apr-14 20:34:44

YANBU. I think it is disrespectful. I wouldn't like it if a male friend sent a text like that to me or if DH sent it to a female friend.

Mama1980 Fri 04-Apr-14 20:36:02

Honestly I think it depends on their relationship, I have male friends who would send a message like that and I would laugh, no harm we have that sort of flirty bantering relationship.
Someone I didn't know well, I'd think ewwww.

MrsBungle Fri 04-Apr-14 20:36:32

Yanbu. Well out of order.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 04-Apr-14 20:37:50

I think it's disrespectful to you and you're obviously bothered that your husband thinks this way about another woman. They probably do have a friendship that wouldn't make this an 'icky' thing but it's how you feel about it that your husband should be paying heed to.

ENormaSnob Fri 04-Apr-14 20:39:00

I would completely see my arse over that tbh.

Disrespectful to her amd you.

And way way way inappropriate to a fuck buddy mate

JapaneseMargaret Fri 04-Apr-14 20:39:54

I'd be pissed off, and my DH has good women friends.

This isn't really the sort of thing you say to a friend, if you see what I mean.

mamalovesmojitos Fri 04-Apr-14 20:44:31

YANBU that was inappropriate. I'd be really unhappy.

sarahquilt Fri 04-Apr-14 20:45:00

I'd be incandescent tbh.

Fairenuff Fri 04-Apr-14 20:45:56

Inappropriate. What makes him think that would be an ok thing to say?

Odaat Fri 04-Apr-14 20:46:52

YAnBU ... Inappropriate / flirty / garish

Wuxiapian Fri 04-Apr-14 20:47:01

Yanbu.

That's a very pervy thing for him to say.

I would be ashamed and embarrassed for him and myself!

complexnumber Fri 04-Apr-14 20:47:57

It's just a flirty joke. Don't read so much into it.

picnicbasketcase Fri 04-Apr-14 20:49:02

I would find it sleazy and inappropriate and would explain exactly why I thought so.

ProfessorSkullyMental Fri 04-Apr-14 20:50:22

depends on their friendship.. there are some women dh is friends with who i wouldnt bat and eyelid over that text.. others i'd be a bit hmm

CoffeeTea103 Fri 04-Apr-14 20:50:27

Yanbu, in no way is that appropriate. shock

JapaneseMargaret Fri 04-Apr-14 20:51:20

My DH talks to, and acts, the same around his women friends as his men.

He doesn't cop an eyeful of their breasts if/when they wear low-cut tops, and he doesn't make inappropriate comments of the type you'd make to someone you're flirting with as opposed to friends with.

He jokes with them, and banters, but it's not sexual. Because why would it be?

Ugh, nooo. Just no.
It's essentially saying, "I was having a good old perv at your tits but I'm going to try and normalize that with a winky face, ps I'd totally welcome an equally flirty reply."

Coldlightofday Fri 04-Apr-14 20:52:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly Fri 04-Apr-14 20:54:21

Horribly inappropriate. Yes, I'd be extremely pissed off.

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