Daters/Online daters - what comments/behaviour instantly think "nope?"

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

I'm mildly addicted to flicking through profiles on POF. Rarely meet anyone. Sometimes I end up chatting to people but mostly I barely even continue past a few messages. I know I'm intolerant but so many things annoy me:

• Self-proclaimed music snobs who send you links to "awesome" bands and have a 30 strong list of the most obscure bands possible on their profile. Hate being forced to listen to some else's music - it just guarantees I will dislike it.
  
• Men who try so hard to sound reasonable and "modern man" but slip up with gems such as "I don't mind you having your own career," or "looking for a passionate girl but not TOO opinionated, lol."
  
• Anyone who tells anyone to "jog on" (cringe)
  *People who message, then follow it up five minutes later with "You there?" "Not talking then?" or "Oh...ok then....bye."
  
  What are your instant turn-offs?
  
  Disclaimer - I'm very aware I'm not perfect and probably have many irritating aspects to my personality!

[RedRoom]

Text talk: Lukkin 4 a hot grl 2 spend 4evr w/

Men who list 30 things they expect in a woman without thinking that maybe some info about themselves would help them get a date.

The above listing of expectations when they include things like stunning, sexy, slim... and they are totally average themselves. Deluded.

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

Agree with yours, RedRoom!
Had a message from a builder, 19 years older than me, offering to "fill my cavity."
This is not. Going. Well.

[LoisPuddingLane]

Men who mention being in bed within the first four messages. Started off all nice talking about chips and then suddenly bed.

[LoisPuddingLane]

Men who, on OKC, in the questions bit, say women have an obligation - an OBLIGATION, mind - to keep their legs shaved.

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

Ohhh Lois those questions are absolutely invaluable for sussing out potential dates, aren't they?

Q: "Are there certain situations in which it would be ok to force a woman to have sex?"
A: "Yes"

Oh. God.

[LoisPuddingLane]

Yep, I've seen that answer too. It gives you chills. That and the attitudes to homosexuality. I check them out right away - if they think gays shouldn't adopt, I "hide" them. Not the gays, the dating profiles...

[Lweji]

There was this one time I got chatting online with one and he happened to ask why I was divorced.
I told him it was because my ex hit me.
He asked me why.

[LoisPuddingLane]

I imagine that conversation shut down pretty fast.

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

Oh cringe, Horsey!! I hate wacky.
How very rude the "flirters" sound. And how weird!

[JonSnowKnowsNothing]

Oh cringe, Horsey!! I hate wacky.
How very rude the "flirters" sound. And how weird!

[Lweji]

It went on a little bit about there being "reasons" for a man to hit a woman. I think he backtracked a bit, but the damage was done.
Nobody else has ever asked me why, including other men.

[Whiskwarrior]

Poor spelling - great 'sence' of humour - puts me straight off - I love to read, suspect they don't!

Text speak for me too - lol from a man in his 40's, in his profile, is a no-no. My 12 year-old uses lol.

Overweight, bald men, supposedly in their early 40's, looking for slim, attractive girls - I'm a plus size myself - I haven't said I want a Hugh Jackman lookalike (although I do ).

[aurynne]

The professionally insecure: "You wouldn't be interested in someone like me. People don't like me. I would like to see you again, but you probably don't want to". AAARRRGGGHHH! Always expecting you to tell them: "Of course not, you're fantastic!". I just ignore and move on. They need a therapist, not a date.

The horrible spellers. Spelling mistakes really put me off. needless to say, that used to rule out 3/4 of all chances when I was online dating.

Any reference to their cock in profiles, or in the first chat. Some men are absolutely obsessed with their cock. It's alright, but they need to understand their obsession does not apply to other people. I have seen many cocks, they're nothing special and yours isn't either.

The ones who expect that make up is a fundamental part of a woman. I don't use make up, never have, never will. If you don't like it, move on, but don't try to tell me what to smear my face with.

The ones who try to impress you with money. I earn my own, thank you very much, and it is often much more than what you can make. If I was attracted to money, I'd join sugardaddy.com

[borisgudanov]

Well the only sensible answer to "Why?" would be "Because he was a twat." However, what this arse presumably meant was "What for?"

[Whiskwarrior]

Another two, prompted by an email I've just had from POF about men who want to meet me.

1. if my profile says I'm looking for a relationship why would I want to meet someone who is only looking for casual dating (which surely means casual sex, doesn't it?)?
   
   
2. if your only photo includes one of your work colleagues it would help to specify which of the two you actually are - especially as one of you is extremely my type and one of you is seriously not - it will be the second one, won't it? I don't want to ask him...

[LoisPuddingLane]

I specify "relationship" too. Also somebody fairly nearby as I don't have a car. So I get loads and loads of Americans. READ THE FUCKING PROFILE.

[Lweji]

But that he was a twat would be obvious. :)
His profile did raise a couple of yellow flags. It sounded wounded and hard done by the previous women in his life.

[Whiskwarrior]

This thread makes me think that OKC might be better for weeding out knob jockies though

[Whiskwarrior]

Oh, and the ones who can't be arsed to read back through their profile once they've done it (so it reads like they're pissed) or even write the bloody thing to begin with!

Anyone who leaves/writes 'fill this in later' - I don't read any further.

[borisgudanov]

Lweji - not to another twat it wouldn't

[LoisPuddingLane]

Those who don't write ANYTHING on their profile and just say they are looking for friends aged 18-50. Or sometimes some really arbitrary upper age like 63.

Those who pose in sunglasses. Those who don't smile. And wear sunglasses. Those in hats, and sunglasses. Sunglasses generally.

[Dwerf]

Any profile that features the word 'ov' (or textspeak at all really)
Men that proclain "I am a happy bloke" yet in every picture is miserable as sin
Men who say "no timewasters" or "this site is a joke" etc. ooooh Mr Negativity!

[VintageGal]

Any man that messages me and uses the word "Hun"

Photos taken of themselves with a mobile phone in the bathroom!

The men that just answer any questions you may ask them but don't reply with a question about you!

My all time favourite.....after about 2 messages..."Do you have a cam at all? "

[niceboots]

Photos taken of themselves with a mobile phone in the bathroom!
My exH joined OKC soon after we decided to separate, but while we were living in the same house. I joined OKC after he moved out and was instantly matched to him, so obviously I saw his profile and pretty much all his photos were taken in the spare room's en suite or his car. I think it's a reasonably likely indicator someone is possibly married or living with someone. In my exH it was legit that we had split up, but quite possibly not always the case with bathroom/car selfies.