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Baby waking makes husband angry with me

(134 Posts)
Hubertscubert Tue 25-Mar-14 19:08:53

My husband works really hard in a demanding job, be is not the best sleeper. Our second baby has been a bit more challenging than the first as she has reflux, hence she has not been as good a sleeper as our elder daughter. Having said this relatively speaking I don't think she is too bad. She has gone from 7pm, fed at 10.30pm, then through to 6 am since about 4 months, but when she is having a bad spell (teething etc) she willwake at 4 am ( but generally go back down for. Dummy or bottle) n then it can tak a while to break the habit. If we have had a disturbed night my husband shouts or swears at me, and then I face an inquisition as to what went wrong. If I give him reasons he makes me feel stupid and it comes across as excuses. This morning dh had asked to get woken at 6 am, the baby woke at approx 5.45. Therefore he was in a mood with me, he said" what went on last night, what today's excuse? He said he asks other women and they say the baby should b going through the night now. I chose to say nothing.

GingerMaman Tue 25-Mar-14 19:10:39

Gosh he sounds horrid!

My baby wakes up every hour or every 2 hours at 10 months. Understandably DH sleeps in the spare room.

Hubertscubert Tue 25-Mar-14 19:13:09

I will gladly sleep in spare room or the sofa but he still hears it

RRRJ83 Tue 25-Mar-14 19:13:35

What's he talking about? He's asked other people and they say baby should be sleeping through!? What nonsense. No wonder you're frustrated.

Tell him to spend one night on a weekend looking after baby and see if he can do better.

msrisotto Tue 25-Mar-14 19:14:38

Wow what an arsehole! Was he like this before?

Obviously I hope you know that neither you nor your baby are to blame for any of this.

Oakmaiden Tue 25-Mar-14 19:15:56

How old is your baby now?

But your husband sounds really unreasonable and aggressive. Not nice sad

susiedaisy Tue 25-Mar-14 19:16:01

He's being completely unreasonable. He's sounds like a spoilt manchild tbh. Remind him it won't last forever and you are doing your best.

FabBakerGirl Tue 25-Mar-14 19:16:28

You are married to a bullying twat. These women who say your baby should be sleeping through clearly need to come round and tell the baby hmm.

It actually sounds like your baby is doing just fine.

trambampoline Tue 25-Mar-14 19:17:21

why isnt he helping, never mind moaning bout a baby waking up in the night.

newsflash, IT'S WHAT BABIES DO!

He sounds horrible, my youngest (2) still wakes occasionally in the night and is an early riser.

Does he ever do the nights when he isn't working?

jayho Tue 25-Mar-14 19:18:29

Do you have a spare room,can you sleep with the baby? He should be more understanding but, as I'm sure you know, the first few months are mainly firefighting so choose your battles, do what works best for you. Get your sleep and baby's sleep, he comes third((hugs))

Orangeanddemons Tue 25-Mar-14 19:18:49

He sounds awful. Horrible horrible man.

Dd woke every night until she was 5. All children wake at night. It's what they do. Especially little ones. It's natures way of keeping you close to them

Tell him to get up with dd

I can think of no adequate response but LTB.

That's not helpful. Tbh very h, I also feel guilty if baby wakes dd or dh. No sound reason for that guilt. Who knows why a baby wakes!?!? But I still feel I should have been able to keep her quiet and or back to sleep immediately. And I have a reasonable (mostly) /supportive dh.

I'm sorry you are being treated roughly. It's really unfair.

jayho Tue 25-Mar-14 19:19:39

send him to spare room and co-sleep until she's settled

imme Tue 25-Mar-14 19:19:57

He sounds awful! To me your baby seems like a fairly good sleeper! Sleep deprivation gets out the worst in us but he is definitely. going too far in his accusations!

Hubertscubert Tue 25-Mar-14 19:20:19

Baby is 8 months old

cathpip Tue 25-Mar-14 19:20:23

Tell your husband to fuck right off, and as for excuses tell him there isn't one, she is a baby and sometimes they wake in the night, and all the females that he has asked can also fuck off too!!!!

TurnipCake Tue 25-Mar-14 19:21:29

He sounds hideous, OP. Is this the first time you've posted about him?

curiousuze Tue 25-Mar-14 19:22:18

How bloody dare he speak to you like that? What an arsehole he sounds.

Sounds like your baby is a really good sleeper to be honest. You just keep doing what you're doing - if he's got a problem he can go fuck himself.

Mandown Tue 25-Mar-14 19:22:54

What a stupid, horrid man! Your baby sounds great actually. Mine wakes every three hours at four months. It's what babies do x

eurochick Tue 25-Mar-14 19:23:56

The problem is not the baby. It is that he is a twat. Was he always like this or is it a new thing?

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 25-Mar-14 19:23:58

I'm sorry you're married to such a terrible bully.

Hubertscubert Tue 25-Mar-14 19:24:22

Great to have your thoughts, I didn't think she was that bad a sleeper either.

ChristineDaae Tue 25-Mar-14 19:25:20

Sorry, your husband is a dick.

Are you breastfeeding? If not, come Saturday night hand him the baby at 6pm and tell him you expect not to hear a sound until at least 9am. See how he likes it.

LoisPuddingLane Tue 25-Mar-14 19:25:36

What a horrible bully! And why is he "being asked to be woken" at 6am? Can't he fucking wake himself up? How ridiculous to complain about being woken 15 minutes early.

Tell him to fuck off.

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