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Next door's gardener has propositioned me.

(89 Posts)
FR1 Mon 24-Mar-14 15:26:40

I say hello when I see him and that's it.

Today he was working down the road at another house and flagged me down. Handed me a letter (unaddressed) which he said not to open then (was in car en route to work) and it said he thinks about me all the time & would I like to go for coffee or maybe a walk in the woods! shock

I'm happily married. I have to tell DH don't I!

mansize Mon 24-Mar-14 15:29:34

A walk in the woods? shock

Nomama Mon 24-Mar-14 15:32:08

Yes... and laugh when you do!

Then ask him not to flip his lid but to be aware that if you ever start making 'those' signals he is to leap in and save you. My DH was disappointed that the dragon he could have slain for love of me was a bit of a wimp that just went away of its own accord.

Gardner chap - give him the letter back and tell him that you are flattered but in no way interested. If he won't take it back leave it on the floor, do not claim it as yours!

Does he know you are married? If not then no harm done and quite romantic. You just have to refuse politely. If yes, then not so nice. And yes, tell your husband!

FR1 Mon 24-Mar-14 15:34:54

I wasn't even aware I was giving any signals. I'm 50 ffs. Gardener is not my type, so apart from being polite I wouldn't ever engage in conversation!

floofyapogo Mon 24-Mar-14 15:35:56

If he knows you're with someone, don't take the advice to say you're 'flattered'. I see/hear that a fair bit here and RL. Again, fair enough if you're single and the person knows it, but I hate the assumption that a woman has to be 'flattered' about any male attention confused.

AnandaTimeIn Mon 24-Mar-14 15:36:13

a walk in the woods!

Maybe he's reading Lady Chatterley's Lover grin

FR1 Mon 24-Mar-14 15:36:44

My DH is at home quite a lot so he should know there's a man here!

FR1 Mon 24-Mar-14 15:37:19

I'm def not flattered!

msrisotto Mon 24-Mar-14 15:39:01

A walk in the woods! That sounds terrifying! Not sexy!

Nomama Mon 24-Mar-14 15:56:17

But it is flattering!

To be found attractive by anyone is flattering. Whether for your looks, voice, personality. The man hasn't tried to abduct her and run away with her. He has just chanced his arm.

He could be a serial chancer, but who cares. Take the compliment and move on.

Seriously, to much 'he is a man he must be up to no good' is attached to that statement, floofy. Some men are really just men, you know. And acknowledging a compliment doesn't mean Dear Emmeline would turn in her grave!

Hassled Mon 24-Mar-14 15:58:36

Is he handsome and rugged? And what are the woods like - could you hold off until there are bluebells?

Nomama Mon 24-Mar-14 15:59:18

Ooooooooooooooooh bluebells.....

MairzyDoats Mon 24-Mar-14 16:05:45

I think it's sweet and quite brave of him. Unless he's aware you're attached, in which case he's a knob.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 24-Mar-14 16:09:13

Well even more cringey is being asked out by your own gardener which is what happened to me in November.

He said "you're looking lovely today. I wonder if I could take you out for a drink sometime". In fairness to him I don't live with my bf so he had no reason to think I wasn't single. I told him I had a do but thank you for asking. He was really embarrassed and worried he'd offended me. Of course he hadn't! It was a nice compliment. Of course I went inside and cringed a bit but it's been fine ever since. I told my bf about it that evening and he just said "I don't blame him for asking!" And that was that.

BuzzardBird Mon 24-Mar-14 16:09:47

What's he like at topiary? grin

Ivehearditallnow Mon 24-Mar-14 16:10:55

So jealous! grin

I'd tell your husband - and politely let the gardener know it aint going to happen!

horsetowater Mon 24-Mar-14 16:11:05

Tell him you are very happy with the person who is currently tending your bergenias and you won't be needing his services.

floofyapogo Mon 24-Mar-14 16:14:30

What rubbish Nomama - it's really not that hilarious when some people seem to think they're terribly witty to suggest Victorian sensibilities. I didn't say he was 'up to no good' (although he's clearly planning to do away with OP in the woods wink ), I said that I (personally) disliked the kneejerk suggestion of being 'flattered.'

'Some men are really just men, you know' hmm.

My comments were entirely subjective, but the way you present yours implies that you think yours are absolute. No, it is not flattering. Some women think it is, some women think it's not. We're both being subjective here, so don't set yourself up as the Oracle on relationships.

FR1 Mon 24-Mar-14 16:15:46

Have told DH, who almost peed himself laughing. grin
Was worried he'd get a bit possessive, but seemingly not.
He did say 'a walk in the woods' sounds like I'm not coming back!! He then said 'ooh, perhaps he wants to trim your bush' shockgrin

MrsKermittSmith Mon 24-Mar-14 16:16:59

Don't go into the woodshed with him!

VoyageDeVerity Mon 24-Mar-14 16:17:30

Oh Crikey how funny grin PMSL at " walk in the woods"

Tell your DH and graciously decline.

newbieman1978 Mon 24-Mar-14 16:17:57

Like others have said, if he doesn't know you are married then fair play to him. Take it as a compliment and carry on with your life. I quite admire him for asking given you say you didn't give any encouragement.

If he did know you are married then ok his morals might be what some think are acceptable but hey it's up to the attacted to turn down the offer.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 24-Mar-14 16:18:59

Flatter Flattered. Verb. Past tense. Past participle. lavish praise and compliments on (someone), often insincerely and with the aim of furthering one's own interests

Whatever the reaction of the individual, 'flattery' is definitely what's being done here. hmm Not really all that subjective.

Dillydollydaydream Mon 24-Mar-14 16:19:44

You've still got it wink

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