I may ramble a bit here but if you can bare with me!
Sometimes I feel like packing up and leaving starting a new life on my own anywhere but where I am. I have a good career and travel a lot with work sometimes for 2 months at a time.
My dh is supportive, never moans when 1 month turns to 2 or, after a long stint away am only home for a couple of weeks before leaving again.
When I am at home I do all the things other people do, I cook, clean do the laundry etc. I try to make my time at home as normal as possible and as good as possible for dh and I as a couple and as a family as I have a dsd.
The last time I was at home it was for a less than a month having been away for 6 or so weeks, dh was an utter arsehole. He was moody, grumpy and instead of being my normal confrontational self (I am working on that aspect!) I found myself treading on eggshells.
I did approach him we had a chat and he said he was totally unaware of how he had been towards me yet nothing changed. I couldn't wait to get back to work.
We don't do anything when I am at home, we do occasionally go for a weekend away but other than that there are no nice nights out or trips out during the day.
He went to the Drs last year and she said he had depression and gave him some tablets I noticed a huge difference in him for about 6 months he was upbeat and happy.
When he was no longer seemingly happy I suggested at his next appointment to have his medication reassessed. Apparently the Dr saw no reason to change his medication at that time.
He said and still says he doesn't know why he doesn't seem happy as he doesn't really feel sad or have any reason to be unhappy. He has run out of his prescription and keeps saying he needs to make and appointment yet never does.
He procrastinates constantly and I feel like I am always having to forge a way to the next step. Sometimes I feel that being at home is such hard work and having been living out of a suitcase for weeks on end in a job that can be exhausting with the hours and time changes I just want to have some peace at home.
I no longer sleep well at home, dh snores so badly I am often downstairs on the sofa.
We do speak almost every day and text a lot. I don't want to make him sound like a bastard because he isn't he just isn't as pro active as me and is happy to sit around on his days off doing nothing. I get that he also works and he too is entitled to have his time to himself I never demand that we are together 24/7
I just sometimes think about my life at home and think 'is this is?'
Does anyone else ever feel like this? I am not a moody person I am 99% of the time quite happy and I do love dh very much I just am starting to feel I am treading water watching the life I imagined pass me by.
Sorry for the epic post, if you got this far. Thank you
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What's wrong with me?!
18 replies
WholeNutt · 24/03/2014 12:57
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