Hi everyone,
I am new to this site and would like to gather some advice and any experiences in relation to a scenerio I was faced with a short time ago!
I am 25 and last year i had finally got myself back to being my happy self after my partner of 5 years cheated on me. It took me 2 years but i felt ready to move on when i met an old friend I used to go to music lessons with as a child. We went out for drinks and we had so much chemistry i was blown away, we could talk for hours and we both seemed extremely comfortable with each other from an early stage. Unfortunately i was to learn that he had broken up with his ex gf of 4 years only a short period before we had met (3-4 weeks) and i expressed my concerns with him stating that i would not be used as a rebound and i had been hurt before and did not want to risk further heartbreak. He stated he had ended the realtionship as he felt they were more like friends and had not been happy for 6 months before the breakup. I was smitten with him and decided to give it a chance after he convinced me he was genuine and decided to take it slow!
I wish i wasn't so naive at the time and could predict what was going to happen! Although it was short lived we had a great relationship.(7 months) All my friends told me how smitten he seemed to be with me making jokes how he would gaze at me all loved up! we did the usual couple stuff like went on weekend breaks away etc. I once had a disagreement with him over something minor and he sent roses to my work with a letter saying how he hoped something insiginicant wouldnt ruin something special blablabla. I saw this as passion at the time to want to make it work but now looking back i see it as a big red flag.! Another red blag i now have noticed is him saying he thought he had met his wife and said 'ily' quite early on.
Out of the blue 2 days after giving me engraved jewellery with both our names on he just completely turned and was very cold with me. He said he had bumped into his ex in the shop and it all hit him at once, how he felt terribly guilty for hurting her and how she was cold with him and he was confused to whether he wanted her back even though he knew she wouldnt take him back. I gave him space and a couple of weeks later when we spoke again he continued to be rude with me and even made offensive comments basically saying i wasnt his ex and i reminded him of her and he was never going to get over her whilst he was with me. That was the last of that and i remained strong and kept to no contact and stated i did not want to be with someone who didnt want me anyway. Time has passed and it has been 5 months since we broke up, from what i gather he tried to get her back and was on a dating site 2 months after we broke up and is still on that site so i doubt they worked out! (ironic saying he wanted space...)
I was just wondering whether anyone can make sense of what has happend or been in a similar situation? Time has passed and i do not feel as broken hearted as i did do but i still feel like i am clinging onto the anger of what he has put me through when i said it from the start! I cant help but feel his actions were extremely cruel, in particular the dramatic switch of behaviour towards me. Any advice to let go of anger would be amazing!!!
I also am still baffled how you can go from being so 'loved up' with someone to then speaking to them like something on their shoe! Makes me wonder whether his feelings were genuine or whether i just filled a void! (he was a great actor if he had no feelings for me)
Experience from those who have had a rebound themselves/being the reboundee would be great to get a perspective on the situation.
Sorry this is long!
Casey.
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Relationships
Anyone had any experience with rebound relationships? Confused!
casey89 · 20/03/2014 20:51
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