Four years ago I was a happy guy having a normal boring life
I was working really enjoying my job
unfortunately I went ill I've to undergo quite a few serious treatment
My DW left me
I know it is my foult. I went ill I couldn't have sex with her anymore it was just matter of time ever since two failed tries I just knew she would leave cos in her eyes I was not even man anymore
I've lost my job because of my illness
I'm just feeling like failure
After another course of treatment I've finally understand my life is finished
I don't think I'll be able to be a normal man again and the most scary thing is nothing of it is my foult(doctor mistake)
I don't even know if it is phiscily possible for me to be able have intercourse
and even I'd never found the currage to go even for date with any women
Because deep inside it won't be fair to do that not knowing if I'm able to...
So I'm in hopeless situation
I am so upset and resignated
I'm slowly coming to conclusion that my life had been destroyed for good
They all win my ex DW the doctor who is responsible for damages in first place
There is no way out from my situation
The saddest thing is I didn't deserve any of it
I was good husband hard working I'd never cheated on my DW never even thought about it never did anything wrong
Never did anything to deserve all that harm humiliation and suffering
I'm like broken toy in bin because it stopped working
In rl I'm living my life the best way I can trying to have good face for everyone
But the reality is starting hitting me hard
I can not really speak to anyone in real life
I've try once but my college made fun of my to the point I have to leave my job
my family is laughing at me telling me it is all my foult
they saying it is a punishment
My counsellor who I'd believe would help me just ignored the real issues fobbed me of made fell so much worst because I've dare ask him a proper straight forward question
I'm still waiting for other treatment but loosing my hope anyway
I'm not expecting anything from writing this thread I know that some people would laugh like my college did in past
But it's fine I've got used to humiliation I went trugh
It's just a human nature to laugh from other people tragedy well that's what I've learn for the last year or so
I'm not depressed miraculously I'd avoid that at least
But I'm just starting to believe I was very naive living my life with the hope
that I'll be normal guy again
I'm really thinking that my first consuller knew that my life is finished and never be normal again just never have balls to tell me this in my face
she did so much damage to my psychic again
I don't even know why I'm writhing this
I don't need anyone pity or words like don't worry you going to be fine because I know I'm not going to be fine even again
I'm just very upset about the fact how easily one person can destroy another person life how easily you can lose your life health in one night
I also want to point out something very important
DON'T you ever guys laugh from people illnesses like someone laugh at mine
Its a very shallow thing to do
I know I've just been extremely unlucky because you would think ee things like that don't happen in real life
People are not that cruel Well they are
I apologize for my rant it won't change anything anymore anyway
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how I'm supposed to live my life now
19 replies
eatenbytiger · 17/03/2014 08:43
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