I'm new here. My DSiL thought this would be a good place for me to find advice. And my family are old fashioned and biased excluding my DB & DSiL and though they try to help, they are not.
Yesterday, I left my DW. I found out, well she told me, that she has slept with another man, twice. And the only reason she told me is because I brought up the subject of wanting another child.
She told she wanted another also but had to confess she cheated because she did not want to bring a child into this world for things to backfire later and me blame her for having the baby out of guilt. When asked why, she said it was in the moment and the impulse of something dangerous and feeling wanted.
We -have- had a great sexlife, we experimented and I never neglected her needs nor her mine. I do not believe it is my fault, she cheated end of, but maybe I wasn't doing something she thought I should me. It's a bloody mess.
I told her to find somewhere else to stay the night and that it was over. I do not condone cheating, it has left me with doubts whether she's done it before and if this man was more than just a 2-night stand. I cannot live like that, I cannot fix the past and I do not want to repair our marriage which she has destroyed and I do not wish to pretend for the children. I am heartbroken and clueless as to what I do now.
She is the one that cheated, she is the one who has to move out, she has agreed to this. Now to the sensitive issue; our 2 ds who are 4 & 3.
I do not want my children to leave, they have routine, they are settled in daycare and are happy. I do not want to cause them anymore confusion than I have to. How do I approach the subject of the children staying with me at home?
I am happy to do joint custody but not until she is in a stable environment, that's not to say I won't let her visit them and her have them, she can, just not for a few nights. Can I do this without sounding like the bad one?
My family say I should keep them with me and let her visit at set times but it's not that simple is it?
My DB & DSiL say they'll support me whatever but that's no help at all.
I am filing for divorce. This is certain but we need to sit down and discuss things involving the children.
Any advice on how I should talk to her about these things? And any advice on how to help the children? I feel like a failure as a parent - having been raised by old fashioned parents and having some of the same ideals, I feel like I have failed them.
Sorry for the rant. insomnia
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What do I do now?
Papaontheedge · 15/03/2014 03:41
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