My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Bully of a husband got a taste of his own medicine today....

60 replies

Littlenastybully · 08/03/2014 23:02

.....and I've been grining to myself ever since.

He's not a very nice person, likes to think he's better at everyone else, an egotistical bastard.

He has a real problem when driving, thinks he's the most brilliant driver in the works and everyone else is shit. So much so that I can't drive the car when he's in it, I'm so fed up of being criticised for everything (despite being older than him, having past my test at 17 means I've been driving for 16 years now, never an accident, never any points, driven all over the world and I am a very good driver).

Anyway, when he drives it's a constant tirade at other drivers, shouting about how shit they are, mouthing 'cunt' and 'dickhead' at them, you get my drift.

Anyway, so today driving to the supermarket he went to pull
INto a lane, someone didn't see him indicate so he had to pull out again...he did the usual "fucking dickehead, watch it." Only, as it was a warm day, we had the windows open and so did the other driver.

So he calls out "did you call me a dickhead?"

There was now room in front of our car for h to move forward to be parallel to the other car but he showed what a coward he actually is and hung back. I could tell he was worried.

The other driver repeated his question and h stated saying "I appologise mate" a couple of times, but still wouldn't pull up next to his car.

Then the lights changed and we moved on, but I could see h was nervous about potentially ending up next to him at the next lights.


I wish the other guy had got out and really scared H. He was clearly bigger than him (h is a nasty little man, hence my namechanged for this) and like I tell ds when he worries about the nasty boys at school when bye move up to secondary this year, they won't carry on being nasty once a bigger kid has called them out on it and scared them.

Anyway, I hope he's leaned a bit of lesson a anyway, the stupid idiot.

I didn't say a thing about the incident, but of course, h had his pride dented so I got it all round the supermarket. Lots of digs and everything I said was met with distain and a nasty comment, just so he could feel like a big man again to get rid of his embarrassment (this behaviour no longer bothers me, it used to make me cry, but I am so detached from the wanker now that I no longer care what he says to me, I see him for the sad little insecure 'man' he really is).

Anyway, it keeps making me chuckle that he showed what a coward he really is today.


(And yes, I will LTB. Just biding my time to make sure ds is secure when we do).

OP posts:
Report
Littlenastybully · 08/03/2014 23:03

Oops, lots of typos, my phone is being a bastard too.

OP posts:
Report
cozietoesie · 08/03/2014 23:04

Ah - I was wondering why you were married to him.

Report
ClaraFox · 08/03/2014 23:05

please leave him ASAP

your son will thank you

Report
cozietoesie · 08/03/2014 23:06

PS - but is it any good for DS being brought up in that environment? have you considered whether he would be better off living only with you?

Report
Lucyccfc · 08/03/2014 23:19

He sounds like a great role model - not!

Report
Misfitless · 08/03/2014 23:34

Sad Confused

Hope you don't have to bide your time for much longer, and that your son can soon live in a bully-free house. Eleven years is a long time to put up with that!

Report
Littlenastybully · 08/03/2014 23:38

He's ds step dad, we've only been together three years.

I'm getting a deposit together for a flat. It won't be long now.

OP posts:
Report
Helltotheno · 08/03/2014 23:40

And you're with him still..why?

Report
handfulofcottonbuds · 08/03/2014 23:45

I understand you waiting so you can do things how you need to like saving for a deposit. I did a similar thing when I left my DS's Dad, just wanted us both to be secure.

Having said that, I really hope it's not too much longer for you and your son now. He sounds nasty.

Report
CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/03/2014 00:01

It's better you're laughing at him than nervous of him... what the gods would destroy, they first make mad

Report
Chottie · 09/03/2014 07:00

Please, please save up fast! can your parents give you a sub? or DS father? This man sound vile.

Report
Littlenastybully · 09/03/2014 07:06

I'll be gone in 8 weeks, I'll have the money then and that when the place I can afford becomes available.

OP posts:
Report
JapaneseMargaret · 09/03/2014 07:09

Oh God, he's your DS's step-father?

I bet he loathes him. :(

Wishing you a speedy 8 weeks. Thanks

Report
froubylou · 09/03/2014 07:16

I feel for you. Have been there myself and also had to get the timing right. Make sure when you go you take everything you need. And if you have joint money now stash as much of that as you can too.

And nexy week when you get to the same set of lights have a little chuckle. X

Report
Misfitless · 09/03/2014 07:16

Me too, hope it flies by.

Does your DS know about the plan to move, OP?

Report
Hissy · 09/03/2014 07:20

Another one here counting down for you!

This prick will annoy the shit out of you for the next few weeks, so rant away and vent as much as you can.

I take it that your house move will be a surprise to this idiot?

Report
MichelloBarner · 09/03/2014 07:21

How do you go from marrying someone to hating them this much in only three years? Confused

Anyway good luck on getting out, he sounds vile. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

Report
Littlenastybully · 09/03/2014 07:24

No, actually it's the opposite. Ds doesn't see any of this behaviour, he thinks h is fantastic. As does the rest of the world. All this is directed at me, he just seems to hate me for some reason.

It will be hard on ds when we leave (he doesn't know yet, obviously) as they get on well and h is actually very good with him, he's never like that in front of ds, never nasty to him It's just me.

I decided to totally detach around Xmas. The scales finally fell from my eyes. I loved him before that, but then one day he was nasty and it was like a switched flipped in my head. I literally lost all feelings for him in a second. I never knew it could just happen like that.

It's confused him though. He keeps telling me he loves me all the time. I never say it back anymore, I just can't bring myself too. I just think how can you love someone and treat them with such nastiness and disrespect.

He's a big one for words anyway. Big words about love, emails full of I love yous and promises but no actions. I've learned finally that words are just words, they don't mean a thing, it's peoples actions and the way they treat you that count in life.

I've been biding my time, saving like mad and I was waiting to see what secondary ds got into so I could stay close to it - I am not going to disrupt his life any more because I made a mistake with mine.

OP posts:
Report
Littlenastybully · 09/03/2014 07:25

michello I made a mistake. I moved too fast.

OP posts:
Report
Bluestocking · 09/03/2014 07:27

I hope the next eight weeks passes quickly and easily. Does your DS know you are moving out? He must hate living with this toxic little bellend.

Report
Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 09/03/2014 07:27

Make a chuff chart so you can mark of the days (and you are chuffed when you get to the end!) I bet you can't wait to get to day One of your new life away from this prize man. Good luck with the move.

Report
Bluestocking · 09/03/2014 07:28

Oops, cross-posted. Once you've moved out you might find out that DS knows more than you think. Best of luck with it.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

SingingGerbil · 09/03/2014 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Finola1step · 09/03/2014 09:09

Good luck with your plans. Here's a bunch of Flowers and a bottle of Wine as an early "welcome to your new home" gift. Keep strong.

Report
Sparklysilversequins · 09/03/2014 09:14

singinggerbil she's trying not to be. Have you read the thread at all?

Good luck OP, my ex H was like that, reserved it ALL for me. Have you read "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft. It's a perfect book and I suspect you'll find your DH in it throughout.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.