Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do you still love your first love?

(92 Posts)
Crawling1 Fri 07-Mar-14 09:19:06

My first love was very abusive but last night I had a dream about sleeping with him it was a pleasant dream. I'm just wondering if others still have feelings for past loves?

Brabra Mon 10-Mar-14 03:00:14

No. He is absolutely gorgeous and we are great friends, but I don't love him. I love the memories we made and think back fondly, but we moved on.

IsSpringSprangedYet Mon 10-Mar-14 02:46:03

I think of him sometimes and wonder what would have been, but don't love him at all any more. He had just come out of an 8 year relationship and wasn't quite ready to commit to me or the 4 others he was shagging too. I was smitten though, and very naive. Then he emigrated to the other side of the world. We facebooked for a bit after, on and off, and he apologised for being a dick. Last message was at least 6 years ago.

I met my husband very shortly after smile

Thumbwitch Mon 10-Mar-14 02:41:41

Nope.
Still despise him after the way he left me. No desire to see or speak to him ever again.

callmekitten Mon 10-Mar-14 02:32:03

I still love him but not in a romantic way. We got in touch with each other about 5 years after we split up. the connection was still there, the comfortableness (if that's a word) but it really showed me that my romantic feelings were misplaced.

We're still friends,he and DH get along well, no temptation at all.

DaleyBump Mon 10-Mar-14 02:21:49

Yes, even.

DaleyBump Mon 10-Mar-14 02:12:07

Yet. I got with him when I was 14. We are now married with a baby son. Don't know what I would do without him.

SueEllenShotJR Mon 10-Mar-14 02:04:27

Wow, what a story Zipadee!

I haven't seen mine for 20 years but I often wonder what it would be like.

Zipadeedoodaa Mon 10-Mar-14 00:29:46

My first love, oh gosh, this is sooooo sad.

We were friends from 11 at school and started dating in secret when we were about 15 and a half. We went public after three months as we knew that our friends would not react well, my BF absolutely hated him. He was absolutely lovely, spitting image of Steve Backshall and very well hung (I thought all men would be like that). He was my first in every sense of the word and we split up after 9 months as he was told (and believed unfortunately) by my "BF" that on NYE at a party I had slept with someone at a party, when actually it had been her. I had actually been babysitting three year old twins for my neighbours and was not even at the sodding party.

The truth came out two weeks after we split up, but we never got back together again. In actual fact he never spoke to me, he would look at me but never talk to me. Sixteen year old me just assumed that he still believed I had cheated so just ignored him.

Anyhow, we left school and he joined the Army, but the weekend before he left for basic he gatecrashed my birthday party and on the day he joined up he turned up at sixth form asking for a lift to the station (I had just past my driving test). He said nothing in the car whatsoever, got out the car and said nothing and didn't even look back I was devastated. I cried for weeks,

Well, we got in contact through Friends Reunited in 2002. Met up and he was adamant that he had written to me from the Army, how he had always loved me. I had left the my home town quite young and not kept in touch with anyone and he had tried to find where I was. Ashamed to say that I did not believe him (I had just been dumped by an abusive ex and had four children under four, so I was very emotional) I thought I was being played. He started crying in front of me, telling me that he had always tried to find me (I had left the area) and confessing to sleeping with my ex-BF sometimes when he was on leave the first couple of years he was in the Army. I was so angry because I had seen her, been on holiday with her and she had never told me.

Well, we have never got in contact again after that night, and exactly a year after we met up he got married to the sister of his best friend and now has children. I found her on FB and she is the very similar to me it is quite startling.

So anyway, a couple of years later (I was still single mum at this point) I was at my Mums house and going through an old bureau in the garage looking for childhood photos and found a bundle of letters in a brown envelope from him that she had never given me. First one is dated the week after I dropped him at the station....

They are upstairs in my wardrobe, I have never opened them and I never will.....

Innogen Sun 09-Mar-14 03:24:15

No not at all. I was fed up of him by the time we split. Didn't mourn at all.

Still have deep feelings for my second love. Mixed ones.

Wrapdress Sun 09-Mar-14 03:17:49

No. Yuck. Alcoholic and all the crap that surrounds that. No regrets though. I can spot an alcoholic a mile away and have never been involved with one since. I can tell on Date Number One if drinking is a problem for a man.

Estrellita Sun 09-Mar-14 01:31:33

No, no no! We were childhood friends and together on and off from ages 13-19. At the time, I thought that what we had was amazing, rare, passionate, special. Turned out he was also playing the whole Romeo & Juliet game with an assortment of other girlfriends. We were all the love of his life apparently. Amazing feats of deception from a teenage boy there. He's still living in the boring town where we grew up and is now on his 4th wife...

wadi1983 Sat 08-Mar-14 23:28:47

Yes - Ricki!!

Would love to see him again!!! sad

WitchWay Sat 08-Mar-14 23:18:55

He died. We had an affair 15 years after splitting up. Pretty awful for everyone involved. He was found dead in a hotel room soon after with a plastic bag on his head - always was a bit sexually weird

I was all ready to come on with a resounding "no, hate the cunt, wish him every misfortune in the world."
But thinking back, he (the one I was thinking of) was my number two. A two year relationship of vileness. There was one before.

We were 17, families old friends, we just kind of came together in a big whoop of feelings! (Drinking wine, can't express better!) we went to the cinema, shopping, walks, etc.... But we were both so awkward about sex. We both wanted it, no doubt there. However (sorry for the negative tone now) I'd been raped two years before and was in an absolute state of chaos mentally about my body, sex, everything. Never told anyone - small village community, culprit was family friend, much older, more credible, etc. With this lovely guy, I clammed up and froze. He was lovely, but in the end he broke up with me and started seeing someone else, who he's now married to.

I know he thinks about me sometimes as he sends the odd FB message. His wife is a lovely woman though, and I genuinely wish them the best. But I do often think how life would have been different if I'd married him. Bleurgh. sad

myroomisatip Sat 08-Mar-14 21:31:21

Yes I do... Very much.

My mother made me promise not to see him as he was 2 1/2 years older. She was convinced I would get pregnant. sad

He was very special, very popular and absolutely gorgeous and shy with it. I am sad that she had such a low opinion of me and of him.

He went on to marry someone else but sadly died in an accident. He did not get the chance to be a Dad and I think he would have been a great Dad. I am not sure I could have coped with losing him like that, if he had been my DH.

I just hope that I get a chance to see him again somehow. It would just suck if it all ends when we die. I would be seriously fucked off about that.

jetSTAR Sat 08-Mar-14 20:10:24

Ditto Blaine
Still have dreams about him too blush

bishbashboosh Sat 08-Mar-14 20:02:23

Yes of course I do,he's my husband wink almost 20 years on smile

angeltulips Sat 08-Mar-14 20:00:44

No, the way we broke up & subsequent conversations actually meant I lost respect for him, and I can't love someone I don't respect. I still think he's ok & we can happily have a chat (same group of friends from school so see him from time to time) but I certainly don't love him and in fact am very glad I left him as we turned out to be fundamentally different people.

SecretWitch Sat 08-Mar-14 19:56:55

My first husband was my first love. I have never loved anyone so intensely. We understood each other. I felt that we would be together forever. Our divorce was devastating. We have children together so we will always share a connection.

I love my second husband and in a stronger, truer, more realistic way.

MarshaBrady Sat 08-Mar-14 19:52:57

It took me ages to get over him then even longer to stop having dreams about bumping into him again.

But life would have been difficult, he works in far flung places and speaks 6 languages. I would have felt like a spare part and I only speak English.

FabBakerGirl Sat 08-Mar-14 19:51:35

A few months ago I would have said yes but now I have realised it isn't love I still feel for him but it is far to complicated. He is not so happily married with a child. I am happily married with a few small people. He is still hot and he still feels the same about me. Tough though.

I married mine grin We were childhood sweethearts, seperated several times and then got together for good in our early 20's. This year we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and 20 years since the day we met!

MirandaWest Sat 08-Mar-14 19:42:30

No. I did love him, and we got married and had children. My love for him was going slowly and then got swiftly extinguished.

TDada Sat 08-Mar-14 19:40:21

Very Sorry to hear Riddo

Blaineisnotanappliance Sat 08-Mar-14 09:08:29

Yes. It took me years to get over him. I have never felt for my dh what I felt for him which is ridiculous as I was 18 at the time and it was all very silly and immature. I have fb stalked his wife-she is the girl he started going out with right after mesad

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now