Namechanged as my DP knows my username. Long time lurker, occasional poster and definitely don't live under a bridge!
Finally got up the courage to post whilst reading a current thread about anger management and did not want to hijack it.
My current situation is almost exactly the same as the OP in that thread. When my DP gets annoyed or something is not going their way they get consumed with rage - there is no violence - just rage and then an extended period of sniping and comments to belittle me.
Our DC is only 4 and I am worried how this will affect him in the future.
The real sting in the tail is that I am DH and the problem is with DW.
For instance we had a very minor disagreement on Sat night that should have resulted in a 5 min husband/wife row at most.
For me it resulted in the standard intensely angry tirade of abuse about how rubbish I am, how she had wasted her life with me, etc. She literally looked like she is going to explode with anger. Sunday was complete scilence except for continued snide comments, Monday not much better and we almost had a civil conversation last night. I did asked "how am I meant to live like this" and got told "don't! just leave!".
Going on past form she will be nice as pie by this evening or tomorrow morning and it will be like it never happened.
Don't get me wrong - I have my failings (as we all do) but I don't think I deserve this.
The advice on here about taking the DC's and getting a better life is all well and good when aimed at the female partner but what can the father do? My plan seems to be to suck it up, protect my DC from it and get us both through this, while trying to get her to realise what she is doing and hopefully improve the situation.
Before you ask - it does seem she was treated much like this as a child - talks about how her parents always put her down etc.
Any advice on how to manage the situation would be gratefully appreciated.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
But what if it is the other way round?
sufferingtoo · 26/02/2014 10:00
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