Hi, I am a regular user, under a different name as I don't want anyone in RL to recognise me.
My 'dp' is leaving me. This is not the first time, it is the 4th time he will be moving out. We have been together for 15 years - with the few exceptions when he has left. We have 3 dc.
He isn't happy and doesn't know what he wants. He loves his children but doesn't appear to like me very much.
He has repeatedly ignored me, avoided having sex with me, been dismissive and generally let me down repeatedly. Why have we got back together each time? because I'm a weak sad cow and each and everytime I have gone all out to get him back. I am guilty of the "pick me" dance on constant rotation.
He is a very good provider financially and he loves the dc. This is why he keeps coming back I suspect, for them and not for me. Yet when he comes back he makes the right noises, promises he will change etc etc and inevitably he never does.
Outwardly I am very strong, I rarely tell anyone in RL what is going on because I am always really ashamed that I have failed.
Please tell me how can I deal with this, how can I let him go without falling apart.
I see so many threads in relationships and I always think I wouldn't be treated that way and yet I live and breathe a really sad existence. I don't feel like he has ever really been my friend. I do everything at home and with the dc and I work. His counter argument on that is that he pays for it all and enables us to have nice things etc.
He goes out when he wants to, I never say no and have supported him through all his career changes and yet I just don't think I can do it without him.
I am falling apart and I feel so stupid but even I sense that this time things have got to change.
I just am not sure I can do it. I have let my children down and I can't imagine my life alone as being anything other than a miserable struggle.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
humiliated, upset and a bit of an idiot
workingtolive · 25/02/2014 15:50
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