Found an escort's number

[KatieZA23]

Hello all - i'm usually a lurker, but decided to finally post for all of your helpful opinions :)

I'm in a long-term relationship with a great deal of trust. I rarely question anything my partner does when we are apart, as I fully trust him. We are both highly independent, live separately and have our own lives.

Mixed in amongst his receipts, I found a phone number and girls' name scrawled on a piece of cash register receipt paper. So I googled it, and to my surprise, it came up with an escort's page here in my city.

The escort in question is a similar age to him (more similar than mine to him), and it doesn't go to a vague page of porn - the phone number leads to a particular escorts site (and links to her same page on a number of different prostitutation sites).

My question is: how would you go about bringing this up with my partner? Should I ask point blank, but i'm concerned he will simply deny.

He is in a sales job where he is constantly collecting phone numbers for people and calling them later to discuss business opportunities, so there is the chance it could be yet another one of those phone numbers. But I guess I figured that if she was interested in business opportunities unrelated to being a prostitute, she would have given him her real number, not one that goes directly to a answer machine.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[BOFtastic]

My thoughts are that he'll deny all knowledge and claim he has never/would never call it.

I'd be tempted to check if he has stored the number in his phone, and change it to yours. Any calls from him, you let go to voicemail first. If he leaves a message that sounds like he wants an appointment, then you will know for sure.

Men who see prostitutes are seldom truthful about it, from what I've seen on these boards.

[EverythingCounts]

Agree he will not be truthful if he has slept with her. Could you work out a way to contact her as if you were him (email?) and ask for another appointment? If she is nonplussed you know it was ok.

[WhateverTrevor83]

Above is good advice OP. If you can get your hands on his phone, if you start to type the number, if it comes up as stored/previously dialled you'll see it and know he's at the very least made enquiries.

The fact that there's a name hand written on it rather than a printed card suggests he's either met this woman somewhere and she's told him to get in touch or it's been given to him by someone else...

I'm sorry you had to see that. Would definitely have given me a shock.

Even if it is business - are you comfortable with him doing business with an escort/escort agency? I imagine he'll say it's work... maybe it is... but I wouldn't like that either.

Have to go to bed am nackered but I'm sure the rest of the MN'ers will be appearing in a few hours (and maybe the odd person if little ones are up in the night).

Take care, let us know how you get on .

[KatieZA23]

BOFtastic - that's a fabulous idea - changing her number to mine in his phone so I would know when he calls her. Problem is - he's quite protective of his phone (as am I, and nothing funny is even going on) - not sure how to snag it away from him to do this.

EverythingCounts - I wish I had her email, otherwise I most certainly would. I only have her mobile phone number.

I thought of calling the number myself and leaving the escort a message stating that I'm not in any way judging her, but that I really need to know if my potential life mate is already cheating on me, and if so, that I want to cut my losses now. Doubt she will return my call though… :)

[BOFtastic]

If you're up to it, check for cash withdrawals in the £100 region on his statement in the week or so after the till receipt date. It obviously isn't conclusive, but it's an indication.

[BOFtastic]

I wouldn't bother with speaking to her- escorts would go out of business pretty fast if they admitted anything to punters' wives/girlfriends.

[KatieZA23]

WhateverTrevor - thank you :)

BOF - another great idea, but the odd thing is that the till tape is completely blank - as though they asked the cashier (or maybe she is the cashier?) to pull a chunk off to write upon.

That's the problem - she "could" be a waitress or cashier etc. who moonlights as an escort and he "could" have her number for legitimate business calls at a later time. "If" he got her number by those means, that may mean that she isn't upfront about her escort other life.

Another thing - her name on the escort site is one of those cheesy hooker names (think "diamond", "peaches" etc), whereas the one on the till tape is a cheesy different name (think "paris", "misty" etc)

The till tape was very clean and folded cleanly, which indicates to me it hasn't been looked at a lot or at all since he got it. Wonder if he will notice I removed it from his place :)

[BOFtastic]

A cashier/waitress doesn't need to give a personal mobile number out for business calls though, surely? And as you said, it seems peculiar to use the same number for escorting and separate stuff.

[KatieZA23]

This would all be so crystal clear if he didn't collect business cards and numbers for his sales business. Then I would clearly know. But because he does, that's where the difficulty comes in.

If she did want to get further info on the business, but didn't want to be "committed" to joining the business, she may have given him this number as it isn't answered - rather goes straight to answer phone.

So many variables :)

So tough to know what to do. What would you ladies all do in this situation? Confront him? Wait it out and see what kind of info could be discovered on his phone? Try to use her name in a conversation about something else to see how/if he reacts?

[FastWindow]

Could you get another piece of similar till receipt paper and write a number only you have (payg sim) on it? Same dodgy hooker name and writing and plant it back in his pocket?

And another thing... Yours, Columbo.

Hoping he doesn't call...

[WhateverTrevor83]

Why don't you just say "Oi, what the bloody hell is the?" - if he says it's something other than what you know it is... Then you've got him lying about it. Even if he's yet to act on it.

If he doesn't know or says he was approached by someone and hadn't phoned up - that's up to you.

Blimey. Hope it's innocent love.

[KatieZA23]

The more I think about it, the less believable "he didn't know sounds"...

[ateddybearfromdelaware1]

My question is: how would you go about bringing this up with my partner? Should I ask point blank, but i'm concerned he will simply deny.

I would point blank say I found this escorts number in your pocket. Your bags are packed, GTFO.

Who cares if he admits or denies, It's over right?

[BalloonSlayer]

So if he often collects phone numbers from people as part of his job, and you have such a trusting relationship, what made you google that number?

I am not criticising you for snooping btw, I would snoop to buggery if I was ever suspicious. I am suggesting that you must have been suspicious, perhaps only subconsciously, to google the number.

Is the "very independent lives" set up both of your ideas, or more his idea than yours?

[KatieZA23]

It's funny - I normally don't care, but usually numbers he has for work are business cards or if they are a girls (or guy's) number, they are written in his own writing. Hence why I don't normally think much of them. This one, in another person's writing and with a fairly cheesy girly-girl name, caught my eye.

Nope, the independent lives is almost hundred percent my doing. We've never had any issues with trust before and so of course I don't want to fly off the handle on this one if it's possible that it's completely innocent.

[OhBabyLilyMunster]

Replace with PAYG number - master plan.

[ateddybearfromdelaware1]

It's only a master plan if he hasn't called her yet. If they've already had sex and he doesn't need her anymore, he won't call her

[struggling100]

I have no idea if this is good advice, so please treat it with a cartload of salt. But in your shoes, I would call her! I would pay her for her time, and (if possible) meet her somewhere safe and public. I'd take a picture of him along and explain my situation to her, so that she understood how important it was for me to know if he'd slept with her. I'd make it really clear that I wasn't mad with her at all, but that I needed to know.

[thecook]

But in your shoes, I would call her! I would pay her for her time, and (if possible) meet her somewhere safe and public. I'd take a picture of him along and explain my situation to her, so that she understood how important it was for me to know if he'd slept with her. I'd make it really clear that I wasn't mad with her at all, but that I needed to know.

I worked as a maid for working girls for the best part of twenty years. Are you so naive that you would think that one would meet with the OP?

[Sortyourmakeupout]

Change number to payg sim - this is genius!!!!

Do it.

[BlueDesmarais]

Escorts use a specific number/phone purely for business, to prevent any crossover with other areas of their life.

If he's got her escort number, then he got it from the same site you saw it on.

[WhateverTrevor83]

Sorry if I'm being thick (it's been known) but what's the benefit of changing the sim to PAYG?

[Dirtybadger]

Changing the number to PAYG means you spend 10-00 on a cheap new phone and he calls you instead of her. Can't write your own number because he will probably recognise (or his phone will recognise when he dials, anyway).

I can't believe an escort would only have one phone, as Blue said. That would be pretty stupid...

[hellsbellsmelons]

So it's someone else's writing as well?
This would make me thing that she is probably a waitress as well and that she 'slipped' him her number and he just hasn't bothered with it since.
If he had written it down my conclusion would be very different.
I'm not sure you have anything to worry about.
Ask him and see how much he squirms, that should tell you what you need to know.

[KatieZA23]

And the problem is...this won't show if any past contact has been made in case he doesn't call it. Then I will always wonder.

The hand writing on the piece of paper is very messy looking and almost looks like a man's writing. That's why I've been wondering if maybe someone gave it to him? It was sitting right out on the main cabinet next in with receipts so it doesn't seem to me like he was trying to hide it anyway.

But again he is quite disorganized, so he may have forgotten all about it or assumed I wouldn't be cleaning through his receipts.

I've been resisting the urge to leave a message for her because a) she probably won't call me back anyways but b) figured if she did call me back and I told her his name and she said something like oh that guy yeah he's introducing me to a new business or something then I would be completely over the line and she would probably tell him that he has some crazy partner who's checking up on him.

Seems to me though that when you have a prostitutes number in your possession that's the one time it actually is okay to be snoopy.