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Has anyone ever split up post DC and then got back together?

(26 Posts)
IamstrongerthanMensa Mon 10-Feb-14 20:16:38

Curious to hear stories both good and bad!

I've always been a never go back kind of person, once bitten twice shy and all that, so I wouldn't normally go back to an ex. But I guess that things are different with DC's so I was hoping that people might share their stories with me? I may or may not find myself having to make this decision at some point so am intrigued to hear some other points of view.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 10-Feb-14 20:31:26

Things are not necessarily with DCs. DCs can forge their own relationship with separated parents and, even if they have 'Parent Trap' type fantasies, that's really not relevant to the adults.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 10-Feb-14 20:31:51

'not necessarily different with DCs' that should have said.

ScottishPies Mon 10-Feb-14 23:31:29

Iam - how long have you been seperated from dc's dad? And how old are dc's?

Yes, me. Best move ever x

scoobydoonot Tue 11-Feb-14 00:31:18

Me too. Worst move ever! Guess it depends a lot on why you split up. Don't kid yourself over the reasons, don't kid yourself he has changed.

IneedAwittierNickname Tue 11-Feb-14 01:03:30

Yes me. But we split up again. I will post mire detail tomorrow if you'd like? I'm too tired now.

ClaraBean Tue 11-Feb-14 01:27:41

I am interested in this too.
My and dh split a year ago, but neither of us have somebody else, and we are still very close, and hang out and have fun together. I sometimes wonder if we would/should get back together, or if he is thinking of it. He left me, but insists he still loves me, so we will see I guess. I certainly wont be hanging around waiting for him.
If yu got back together, how long were you separated for?

wallypops Tue 11-Feb-14 02:27:58

My exh parents did this twice and GE is unbelievably screwed up largely as a result

wallypops Tue 11-Feb-14 02:28:15

He not GE

IamstrongerthanMensa Tue 11-Feb-14 08:09:52

I'd love to hear some of the stories if people are happy to share?

IamstrongerthanMensa Tue 11-Feb-14 08:10:51

Oh, and we've been apart for three months. DD is 7.5 months.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 11-Feb-14 08:11:58

So what you're saying is that you feel an obligation (?) pressure (?) expectation (?) to get back with this person because you have a child together? If there was no baby would you feel the same way?

IamstrongerthanMensa Tue 11-Feb-14 08:38:15

No, sorry I'm not saying that at all! I 100% would feel the same way with no DC. I love him for whatever of a fool that makes me.

ALittleStranger Tue 11-Feb-14 08:47:27

After three months I'm not even sure you can say you're through the split. If you'd been married people would still be urging you to work at it etc and plenty of people come back from seperations.

I know people who have got back together and it's worked and got back together and it's been a disaster. The latter seems particularly harmful for the kids.

Redtartanshoes Tue 11-Feb-14 08:54:18

My ex got back with his exW after we split... They got married (again) lasted about a year.

maleview70 Tue 11-Feb-14 09:15:32

When there are millions of other people who may make you happier, I can't see why anyone would want to.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 11-Feb-14 09:28:28

"I may or may not find myself having to make this decision at some point "

Does this vagueness mean you're sitting by the metaphorical phone waiting for the call that says he wants you back? Is he running this show?

IamstrongerthanMensa Tue 11-Feb-14 09:39:51

Not in the slightest.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 11-Feb-14 09:43:57

So why 'may or may not'? If the decision is yours, why not make it now?

IamstrongerthanMensa Tue 11-Feb-14 09:47:24

Because everything is too confused and raw at the moment. There are several external factors which need to be resolved.

escape Tue 11-Feb-14 09:50:09

Hmmmm. It's a definitely a tricky one. I have, and currently I regret it very much. The turmoil being that I knew how awful it would be if it didn't work out ( for the kids ) so really struggled to make the original decision because of this.
No one has a crystal ball...

IamstrongerthanMensa Tue 11-Feb-14 09:56:13

That's the problem isn't it escape a crystal ball would make things a lot easier! Sorry to hear things aren't going well.

FlirtingFail Tue 11-Feb-14 09:59:37

I did it. It didn't last. But I don't regret it. It gave both of us closure on the relationship, and certainly for me underlined the reasons why we were better apart. We got some counselling which helped me come to the decision to split up again.

We had split up when DC was very small, so I am glad I can look back and say I did all I could to make the relationship work.

We get on well now, DC has a good relationship with both of us and XP has a very nice new partner.

DCRbye Tue 11-Feb-14 20:28:16

Same as FlirtingFail here. I would have regretted not trying. I tried and failed.

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